And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived 'til now
I tell them I don't know

I guess they understand
How lonely life has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand

And yes I know, 
how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me 
And the night won't set me free
But I don't let 
the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

And yes I know, 
how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me 
And the night won't set me free
But I don't let 
the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

My lachrynal glands have had it. If it had the chance to speak, it would scream to me, "ENOUGH, PLEASE!"

Since the first week of February, I have inexplicably developed a habit of crying at the minutest of things. At first it was because of my resignation from my job, the thought of leaving my close friends at work, and letting go of the job that I had dreamt of since High School. Yet, close to the week that I was officially leaving, the tears meant a different thing altogether.

February 14, I told Sheiden I'd give this foolish "falling in love" sequence in my life a stop. Even if, for me, it was worth every single tear, I decided it would be destructive for me and my relationship with the guy if I continued to freefall from heights I cannot even begin to imagine. It was difficult to decide so, because I'd been freefalling for months now, and pulling the emergency cord for the parachute seemed a little too late.

Well it was. I didn't know that just as I had set the parachute off, I would stumble and roll over and over on the ground. Its just like falling, only there's dirt on your back and bruises on your body afterwards. Its quite a bit more painful... because if I had freefallen till the very end I would've felt the excruciating pain for a little while and then die. But now, I'm feeling all the bruises and broken bones... every little one of them.

And the most painful fact of it all is it will take me a while to recover. Meanwhile, I'll have to endure all the little aches, until they become numb.

Enough of love. Enough of falling.

February 21, my birthday. Michael called and told me his mother got involved in an accident, and was seriously hurt. And I thought NOTHING would've ever ruined that day for me. Not that I blame Michael and the bad news for my mood swings that day, but ever since Monday my tears just can't help from falling again.

It's already the 26th, and for five days Michael's mom is in the ICU. All of us, his family, friends, fans, and co-workers are praying for his mom's recovery... which, to us, is taking a bit too long. (I'm sorry, God... I'm being impatient. Please understand. This doesn't mean I do not believe in you, though.)

If only I could turn back time, rearrange the stars... if only I could have it my way... I wouldn't have let this happen. I mean... it was so unfair. Michael should've been enjoying that day, because it was the official launch of his first album, but he couldn't because of the freak accident that happened. Last night I couldn't help but tell God that I wish it was me instead of his mom. He needed his mom more in that launch.

A lot of crazy ideas are swirling inside my head right now that I cannot even grasp each and every one. But if only I could shield Michael of all the pain he's feeling right now, I would, even for just one day. I just miss seeing him smile. For all the smiles he's caused me, I would do anything to give them back one by one. That's how special he is to me.

It's been 26 days... ENOUGH, PLEASE!