And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived 'til now
I tell them I don't know

I guess they understand
How lonely life has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand

And yes I know, 
how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me 
And the night won't set me free
But I don't let 
the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

And yes I know, 
how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me 
And the night won't set me free
But I don't let 
the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

When you ask my friends to describe me, chances are, you would hear them say that I'm childlike sometimes. I like watching cartoons. I like to play games. I like to buy stuffed toys for myself. I like puppies, and butterflies, and ice cream. I like playing with kids and making a fool out of myself. I like pretending I'm a kid...

This early in the year I've noticed a very big change in me... and I did not like it. Since when did I grow up?

When I was four years old, and in Nursery, I never worried about a thing. A year later, in Kinder, my only worry-moment was when I "accidentally" pooped in my underpants. And then, nothing else bothered me much, except of course getting high grades in class... but that was easy enough for me at the time.

Years later in elementary, worries became bigger as subjects became harder. I strived to be at the top of my class since my parents expected me to, and because I also wanted to. In High School, it was quite the same. Grades, class projects, performances for the Dance Club... coupled with barkada issues that emerged like mushrooms.

College was pretty much the same. Grades were the top priority, and so was graduating on time.

Looking back I realize that my worries then were pretty much connected to myself, and myself alone. I focused so much on what I did, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Only now, my worries got a lot bigger. My teachers were right when they told me that I should enjoy my school life.

Now, there are no grades, class projects and performances to worry about... because now, there are salaries, budgets, tuition fees and matters of the heart to keep me awake through the wee hours of the morning. I never thought it would be this taxing to think about those stuff, and I never imagined I would be thinking about them this early in my life. I'm just 22, but if THIS keeps up, I might turn 40 by my next birthday.

I know that there are other people out there who have bigger concerns than I have, and I respect that. Its just that right now, I'm just frustrated that I couldn't keep my young heart flying freely in the air with fairy dust and happy thoughts.