< joLogs with styLe >

Test...

2005-09-27T16:07:00.000+08:00

Just a test post...

Can't see to load this page on the net.

National Jolographic is ONLINE!

2005-05-16T02:44:00.000+08:00

Hey guys... I'm inviting you to my new home on the web, National Jolographic!

Wag kayong mag-alala, jologs pa rin 'to! Iniba ko lang ang layout para magmukhang pormal (daw!), pero same old rantings pa rin ang mababasa niyo!

Bookmark niyo ako ha? [ http://tara-skye.blogspot.com ] National Jolographic

Kitakits!!!

Jologs with Style is signing off...

2005-05-13T18:55:00.000+08:00

Hey guys... I'm currently updating my blog template and I have decided to create a new one for this year. Medyo nagsawa na rin ako sa black and red na motif, kaya iibahin ko naman nang slight. One thing's for sure though, nasa blog layout pa rin ang aking favorite color! Guess what it is!!!

Hehehe... as if!

O basta... see you soon sa bagong blog ko! :)

Mga anghel na walang langit...

2005-05-07T18:30:00.000+08:00

Finally, I've gotten hold of a picture of my "ilegal na kras," John Vladimir Manalo! I got this from Pinoyexchange, pero originally, this came from the ABS-CBN official website, a feature on their upcoming show Mga Anghel na Walang Langit.

L-R: Sharlene San Pedro, Nikki Bagaporo, Miles Ocampo, Carl John Barrameda and John Vladimir Manalo (my baby!!!)

I'm so excited for this new show... I hope the little ones prove once again the old Filipino kasabihan, "Walang maliit na hindi nakakapuwing." AJA!!!

Mga Anghel na Walang Langit premieres on Monday, May 9 after TV Patrol World. Only on ABS-CBN Channel 2!

Happy Mother's Day!

2005-05-07T17:31:00.000+08:00

Just in case I won't be able to post tomorrow... dahil sira pa rin ang PC ko at hindi mabuksan (thanks to Michael... hehehe), I want to greet my mom a Happy Mother's Day!!!

Tsaka siyempre, sa lahat ng mommies diyan na nagbabasa ng blog ko (as if!)... Happy Mother's Day sa inyong lahat!

God was very intelligent... to have created the concept of a Mother. Without them, we wouldn't have felt His love from the moment we are born, and until now that we are grown-ups. Thank you God!

Happy Mother's Day to all moms!!!

This can't be happening!!!

2005-05-06T19:28:00.000+08:00

Argh!!! (Again!?!)

Ipapalabas na raw ng GMA-7 ang Sweet 18 soon!

AAAAAARGGGGGGGGH!!!

Nakakainis!

I know I've been hearing talk about Sweet 18's rights being bought by GMA-7, but I didn't really believe it. Ayoko lang talaga na mapunta sa kanila ito dahil for sure, pangit ang magiging boses ni Lee Dong Gun Oppa ko (natin)!

Haaaaayyyy...

Excuse me, I have to take some calming pills.

Job hunting

2005-05-05T02:24:00.000+08:00

I've been SERIOUSLY looking for a job since last week. By SERIOUSLY, I mean, going to job fairs and scouring the net for classifieds. So far, I've given one resume to a company I kind of liked in the MegaMall job fair, e-mailed one resume to an employer who posted a classfied ad in Pinoyexchange, and applied for five different companies through Jobstreet.

If I had it my way though, I would've flown to Korea and applied for the most insane jobs (in my mother's point of view) ever. Of course they would have to involve my current flame (???) Lee Dong Gun Oppa!

[ Dream Job One: The Wardrobe Assistant ]

I'm a self-confessed Stained Glass addict. I've been hooked since Day 2 (I wasn't at home for the pilot episode, so...) and I've been noticing that Dong Gun's necktie is always, always out of alignment! It gets me irritated and frustrated sometimes because his character in the series is supposed to be a top honcho of a Japanese insurance firm... and his outfit is sloppy? Come on.

When I was still with Wazzup, I often get peeved when Kuya Vhong's tie is out of place, so its either I tell him to fix it up or I fix it up myself. Which made me think: I could be Dong Gun's wardrobe assistant! And the only thing I'm supposed to do is his tie! Like this:

Kung puwede nga lang, buong damit nito mula ulo hanggang paa isusuot ko sa kanya eh! Hehehe... ano kaya yun? Parang bedridden!

Ever since I blurted out at home, "Ako na lang magwa-wardrobe assistant kay Dong Gun," my cousin and bestfriend would tease me, saying "What if I get to be Dong Gun's wardrobe assistant, but the Korean producers don't pay me anything?"

The answer they got?

"Wala akong pakialam kung pakain lang... kung kimchi lang araw-araw ang ipakain nila sa akin! Basta!!! Ako ang mag-aayos ng necktie ni Dong Gun!"

Oh well, so much for labor rights.

[ Dream Job Two: The "Stunt" Double ]

Being an addict means endlessly searching the web for tidbits about whatever and whoever it is you're addicted to. Fortunately, the people of Pinoyexchange have been very helpful in my "research" and I've found out that a certain scene of Stained Glass has been shot 15 times more or less.

The reason? Some were saying it was because of the weather, and some were saying it was because the actors did not get the scene right.

If you're wondering what that scene is, it is THIS scene:

Oh, eh lamang lang pala ng dalawang diamond peel abrasion at isang bote ng Mane & Tail 'tong si Kim Ha Neul sa akin! Puwedeng-puwede sana akong mag-double kung di niya kinaya!!!

With this in mind, I realized my true calling. Being a stunt double.

Argh! Why didn't I learn of this earlier? I would've taken Kim Ha Neul's place if she were tired, I could understand perfectly! Of course, they would have to make me wear a wig and how-many-inch-heels, and shoot the scene from behind me to "cheat" the whole thing... but as I've said, everyday kimchi is no problem at all if my job was to act as a double for a scene like this!

[ Dream Job Three: The Movie Prop ]

I've seen Dong Gun's first movie, My Boyfriend is Type B a few days ago, thanks to Mitzi. I don't want to babble on about how Dong Gun looked really cute in his outfits and his antics in the movie because you would've already predicted that (as if!). There's just this one scene that I really remember vividly, and would make me smile always.

It was the scene towards the end where Dong Gun rides the bus where Han Ji Hye was, and at the very first moment he stepped inside, he clamped both of his arms on the steel post just beside the bus driver's seat. (I'm sorry I don't have a screencap for that, so I'll just post this movie still I got from a Korean movie site.)

Sobrang payat ni Beebee Chubbs ko rito! Hehehe... I call him Beebee Chubbs after I saw his stint in the Korean drama Friends with Won Bin. Chubbs siya dun!!!

It was also then that I remembered one of my long-time friends, who, in one of your High School presentations, acted as a lampshade and sat on the set for the rest of the performance. Her name's Lea, by the way. (Hi Lea!) She gave me an idea for another job!

Yes, being the steel post!

To those of you who have seen Type B, you might remember how Dong Gun held on to that post for a minimum of 10 seconds, like he's holding on for dear life... who wouldn't want a man like him hold on to her like that? *Sigh* I wish I were the steel post on that bus. And I don't care if I freeze to death in Korea as long as Dong Gun Oppa held on to me like that for a measly ten seconds.

At least I'd die with a smile on my face.

Just kidding. Slightly. :)

I'm getting so frustrated!!!

2005-05-03T02:40:00.000+08:00

Argh!!!

When I printed my resignation letter almost three months ago, I felt relief fill my chest. No more sleepless nights, no more work-related stress, no more sickening feeling in the stomach whenever I commit mistakes... none of that crazy crap I've been having for eleven months.

For the past weeks, however, I've been subjected to unexpected stress even when I am mostly at home with my family. Certain issues arose when our family vacationed in Baguio, and until now, these issues have been bothering me like crazy. How crazy? Well... its enough to make me cry every other day, think and rethink about my career paths, and somehow, needlessly worry about the future.

I've never felt this way before, even when I was still studying and in college. Right now, I feel so useless to my family. Last year, when I was still working, I used to give half of my salary to my mom. It was not much, but I knew they went somewhere... like the grocery, the water bill, the cable bill, or my sister's school service fee. Now, I have nothing to give, and I feel very bad about it.

It's an ego thing, I know. Masakit sa ego ko na wala akong naitutulong ngayon sa pamilya ko, samantalang dati kahit kaunti meron akong naibibigay. Sometimes I catch myself thinking if I made the right decision and left my very first job. Haaayyy... fonyetah. I'm growing old na talaga.

One more thing, I'm very frustrated about my little sister. She is an incoming freshman this school year, and she took summer classes (that ended just last week) to brush her up on Mathematics and English. Unfortunately, it seems that her summer classes didn't do much for her.

I'm not saying that my sister is dumb. She is probably one of the smartest kids in school in different aspects. She is a musical person, and she likes tinkering with little mechanical stuff. Hindi lang talaga niya hobby ang mag-aral at magbasa. She would choose MYX and Link TV over her textbooks anytime.

Hindi nga dapat ganun. I always tell her she has to have the initiative to study. High school na siya, at hindi ganoon kadali ang High school life. Siyempre, been there, done that. Especially because I went to the same High school as her, kaya alam ko ang mga puwedeng mangyari sa kanya if she doesn't shape up. Masasayang lang ang tuition fee niya kung ibabagsak niya ang freshman year niya. Lalo na dahil sobrang hirap kami ngayon maghagilap ng tuition fee niya.

I want my sister to get the best education possible, but I also want her to see that life is not as easy as she thinks it is. Hindi lang puro text, TV at butingting ang dapat niyang inaatupag. She should at least show us, her family, that she's making an effort to learn.

Ngayon, naghahanap ako ng matinong trabaho. Sumusubok mag-sideline nang kaunti. Pero ang hirap pa rin. Nararamdaman ko ang hirap ng Pilipinas. Grabe na talaga.

Halimbawa na lang, last week, nagpunta ako sa job fair sa SM Megamall. Andaming tao, kahit pasara na ang fair nung dumating kami. I was kind of disappointed however, because most of the participants of the job fair were call centers. While I have nothing against call centers (I heard they pay well and have lots of benefits for employees), I'm not really keen into entering that kind of environment. I would most probably get bored, because I don't like staying in one stationary place for a long time. I like a job which is always on-the-go. Always running, always moving... sort of like my old job, but with better work environment and compensation.

There are so many people looking for a job nowadays. Tanda lang na talagang hikahos na ang bansa. Kaya naman hindi mo masisisi ang iba kung hanapin nila ang kapalaran nila sa ibang bansa... like my bestfriend, Macri, who'll be leaving for Canada to be a caregiver.

Napaisip na nga rin ako nito eh. Paano kung mangibang bansa na rin kaya ako? Baka maging mas succesful ako roon, baka mas matulungan ko ang pamilya ko kung doon ako magtatrabaho. Pero puwede ring maghirap ako doon lalo, o matagalan bago makakuha ng magandang trabahong gusto ko.

Isa lang ang sigurado ko. Kung mangingibang bansa ako, mamamatay ako sa lungkot.

I'm currently listening to the Stained Glass soundtrack, and Dong Gun Oppa's "And I love you so" which he sang for his first motion picture, "My boyfriend is Type-B." Thanks so much to Michi for taking time to burn a Lee Dong Gun collection for me. Kahit hindi ko naiintindihan yung mga kinakanta niya, nararamdaman kong mahal niya ako! (AS IF!!!) Harharhar!

Speaking of which, Dong Gun nae sarang's voice is really very good. And I do not say this just because I love him, but because its true. (Heeheehee!) He has a very masculine and powerful voice... its enough to melt me into goo!

Okay, I'm warning you guys. You might think I'm going crazy, but this is just how I am.

John is going to star in a new teleserye!!!

Okay... WHO IS JOHN? You're not paying attention to my blog, are you? He's my newest crush... oh, about ten, twelve years old? (OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!) He's one of the Goin' Bulilit kids, playing Martin in Lovers in Pares. Okay, is that enough recap for you? Good.

On May 9, John, along with other Goin' Bulilit kids (who, incidentally, are my favorites also), Miles, Carl, Nikki and Sharlene will be starring in a new drama series entitled "Mga anghel na walang langit." The teaser for this program is already being shown over ABS-CBN 2, and I can predict that while watching this series I might die of dehydration (READ: uncontrollable flow of tears).

Basta... I'm very happy and excited about this series. Kasi... makikita ko si John na mag-drama! Hayyyy... ang batang ito... mana talaga ata sa tiyuhin niyang si Jericho!!!

Tanong: "Bakit parang malungkot ka?"

Sagot: "Mag-isa ka lang?"

Fonyetah! That is probably the lamest possible sentence I could ever have said in my entire life in hopes to evade a question that I don't like to answer. Nakakainis! Parang eksena sa telenovela/sitcom! Hindi ko maintindihan!!!

Constantine is OUT! :(

2005-04-29T15:43:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...

I wanted to post something very objective about Constantine's being voted off yesterday in American Idol, so I slept on it and thought of what I'm going to post here. I'm not saying its objective though. Heehee. Shades of fandom.

He just loves to pout, doesn't he?

Ever since the auditions special of American Idol, Constantine was my bet. What can I say? He reminded me of Michael, the only rocker dude who dared to defy the biriteros and biriteras of Star in a Million... so it was safe to say that his rocker looks and style really caught my attention. Among my bets were Travis Tucker, and Nikko Smith, who both entered the American Idol Top Twelve.

I was amazed at how Constantine grew while in the competition. At first I was decided that he will not be able to sustain his standing because there were better singers in the AI4 pack. I was wrong. His charms not only worked on me, but on many Americans (majority of which were girls) as well. He kept wowing the audience every week, and, even when people said bad things about him, kept his head high and his silly mouth pouting.

Left: Constantine wowed the audience, and even Simon Cowell with his Bohemian Rhapsody performance. Right: Ryan Seacrest asking the viewers to vote for Constantine.

To me, his best performance was when he sang Bohemian Rhapsody. The song was a personal favorite of mine, for unexplainable reasons, and he delivered it with such gusto that I was totally blown away. (See previous post: April 14 I just lost it! Totally!) After he sang that, I was convinced that he deserved to be in the American Idol Finals.

But that was not about to happen. Last night, he was voted off the competition, and I could say that there were some in the audience who were not only surprised but outraged as well. Honestly, at first, I had the same reaction. I had wanted Scott Savol to get the boot last night because his performance last Tuesday did nothing for me. Vocals wise, he was a little shaky. Performance wise, his energy was very, very low.

Yes, I might be biased because after all, Constantine WAS my bet since day one. Watching his performance last Tuesday, I already knew he would probably be in the bottom three with Scott and Anthony Fedorov. Vocals wise, the song he chose (How you remind me done by Nickelback) didn't really bring out his vocal prowess, but he did make up for it in his all-out performance. When I heard Wednesday morning that he was voted out, I couldn't believe it. I had to watch AI for myself.

As I'd predicted, he was in the bottom three... with Anthony and *gasp* Vonzell Solomon, who, in my opinion did great in her rendition of Christina Aguilera's I turn to you. I was so disappointed when I saw Scott sitting in the safe zone, thinking "Why the hell isn't he in the bottom three? Why is Vonzell in the bottom three in the first place?" Oh well... Americans have the last say, after all.

Anyway, yes... I was shocked and outraged when Constantine was voted out, but it wasn't as if I didn't expect it. I just didn't think he was going to be voted out this soon. I still think Scott should've been the one who was sent home, and then Constantine could go after that.

I remember the time Michael was voted off Star in a Million a week before the Grand Finals. Ahh, yes... tears. :) I was reminded of how I cried then when I saw Paula Abdul crying while Constantine did an encore of his song. I've read some comments over the internet that Paula was kind of overreacting to the fact that one of her favorite contestants was being sent home, but I completely understood her. Even if she was a juror, she was still a person after all who would tend to have favorites. And she must've seen something in Constantine that made her believe he was made for greater things.

Well... I would have to say this. I wasn't expecting Constantine to win the title, but I rooted for him and was glad every week that he stayed in the competition. I was saddened by America's decision to send him home, but I guess that's just how they saw it fit.

American Idol, like many other reality TV shows today, is just a competition. It may show one side of you that people will definitely love, or hate, but it doesn't make your whole personality. There are still many facets of you that can bring you to where you want to be. This is just a step towards that... so I'm not worried about Constantine at all. I believe that he has a strong personality and talent to match. He'll go places, that's for sure... but for now, its goodbye, Constantine... I'd love to watch you perform again soon!

Here are some shots of Constantine's final contest performance, courtesy of the American Idol website:

I know the hair is messy... but somehow I find him sexy in these pictures, especially the one in the left. Love it!

Love ko blog ko!!!

Its been a year since I started blogging, and I must say, I'm really loving it! I love to write and express myself, and I love getting to know other people and connecting with them through their blogs. I've learned a lot, from other people's experiences, thoughts and musings, and I super love the fact that some people take the time to write me also sometimes.

Happy birthday to Jologs with Style, my blog... my baby... and thanks to all the people who dropped by, read my entries, wrote comments or just quickly passed by.

The week that was...

2005-04-29T03:05:00.000+08:00

Tama ba namang mawalan ako ng internet card early in the week? Kung kailan napakarami kong gustong ikuwento, saka naman ako naubusan ng internet card! Argh! Anyway... here's what went on/wrong in the week that was...

MONDAY, APRIL 25

Happy Anniversary to my favorite and pinaka-love kong all-male dance group... ang Streetboys! Grabe... 12 years na sila sa business, and still going strong! I texted Kuya Jhong and greeted him a happy anniversary to their group... bilis sumagot! Sayang nga lang at walang naka-planong celebration ang grupo this year dahil nasa Europe daw ang kanilang manager na si Direk Chito Roño...

:: I fetched Jill from school again today, and I felt really sick because of the heat! Grabe ang init ngayon sa Metro Manila... its advisable to just stay home in the afternoons to avoid getting heat stroke. Kung hindi man, just bring an umbrella or wear hats/caps to protect yourself from the heat.

:: Got drunk in the evening. Not good. (Why did you drink in the first place?) Its to celebrate the reunion of Kevin, Jamie and Gerry in Stained Glass. Watch it. You'll get hooked.

TUESDAY, APRIL 26

In the middle of my bath, mommy popped in a CD of her choice. It was a piano instrumental CD, and I got LSS (Last Song Syndrome) from its first track. The song is entitled "Someone that I used to love." Hmmm... I wonder why I got LSS from THAT song... when I still LOVE that SOMEONE. A way of letting go, perhaps? I will never know.

:: Started writing a fan fiction novella entitled Cloudy Eyed Girl. Stayed up late so that I could write four chapters. Felt good about myself afterwards...

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27

While coming home from Jill's school (where I fetched her), I received a call from SOMEONE. I tried to hide my excitement, since its been a while since he last called up, and answered the phone. His first word and mention of my name struck me, and since that call I've been crying inside the jeepney like crazy. Of course, hindi ko naman pinahalata na umiiyak ako noh... siyempre, I still have my dignity.

Since SOMEONE and I became close, he never mentioned my name except when he introduced me to other friends of his. We had this "term of endearment," as I would call it, and we would always use that term to refer to each other. That night, when he called, he never used that term. I took it as a sign. This is his way of telling me indirectly to stop hoping that he'll see me as someone more than a friend, and that night I felt my heart crash to my feet once more.

:: Texted my Beb, Sheiden about what happened. Could've caused her unhappiness that night, and I wasn't able to say sorry. Beb... pasensiya ka na. I didn't know who to text or call that night but you. If I made you upset, please forgive me. I just feel like I needed to hug you to ease the pain I felt inside me.

THURSDAY, APRIL 28

"Pakiramdam ko hawak ko ang buong mundo habang hinihintay ko ang mahal ko..." -- Jamie, Stained Glass (April 28 ep), reprising Gerry's line

Grabe... I can imagine this feeling. Yung pakiramdam mo, punung-puno ng emosyon ang dibdib mo, na hindi mo maintindihan. The anticipation... the feeling of waiting for someone you love, even if you see each other everyday or every now and then... lalo na kung matagal kayong hindi nagkita.

Gerry was right when he first said this: "Pakiramdam ko akin ang buong mundo... habang hinihintay ko ang mahal ko." It just felt right. Its just like saying that nothing in this whole wide world can negate the joy and the excitement that you feel, when you're about to see and be with the person you love.

Umuulan? Keber. May sakit ka? Wala na yan pagdating niya. Bad trip sa trabaho? By the time the one you love enters your line of sight, you forget everything, even your name. Even the whole world stops spinning for you, and you die right then and there, for just a moment, when the one you love takes your breath away yet again.

*Sigh* I wish I could feel this way again.

Grabe na 'toh! I'm Goin' Crazy!

2005-04-25T01:55:00.000+08:00

This is wrong. This is so wrong. Haha. Sobrang love ko ngayon si John of Goin' Bulilit. I think his full name is John Vladimir Manalo, but I'm not very sure about that. He's the one playing Martin in their spoof of Lovers in Paris called Lovers in Pares. He's a very adorable kid.

Grabe, tama bang kiligin sa bata? He's just like ten years old or something! Naaasar na ako sa sarili ko! I just got myself wishing I was part of Goin' Bulilit's Production Staff! Arrrgh! Ang cute talaga ni John! I wish I could find a picture of him somewhere in the internet so I can post it here soon. Para naman maka-relate yung mga hindi nakakakilala sa kanya.

Or if you want, just watch Goin' Bulilit every Sunday after The Buzz. Tapos hanapin niyo siya sa Lovers in Pares sketch. As I've said, siya si Martin dun. :)

"Know what fate is? Building a bridge of chance for someone you love." - taken from My Sassy Girl

This freaking line made me think. Yes, I did build a bridge for that SOMEONE I love. In fact, I might've built lots of bridges, overpasses, and even flyovers. So why isn't fate playing on my side?

I just thought that maybe, even if you do build bridges for the one you love, it still doesn't mean that that person will choose to cross the bridge you built for them. They might've found another bridge to cross, or you might've just been too late building your bridge that you didn't notice he was already crossing another.

Hay... one way bridges. One way streets. One way love stories. That's the way my stories ALWAYS go.

Still...

2005-04-21T20:07:00.000+08:00

I'm drowning myself in Sweet 18's OST. I just love it! My favorite tracks are Track 5 (the one with the snapping thingy going on), Track 6 (the song I suspect was sung by Dong Gun Oppa), Track 9 (the sweet instrumental piece), Track 19 (the one I call, "pang-in love talaga music") and Track 22 (the end theme).

"What's in the heart is more important than what's said out loud in this journey of life." -- Jung Sook's mom, Sweet 18

Siyempre... hanggang ngayon, hindi pa humuhupa ang Dong Gun Oppa fever ko! Huhuhu... I get teary-eyed just thinking about him!

Guys, visit my deviantart page. Wala pang masyadong laman, but I will be posting up new stuff soon. Maybe another Lee Dong Gun wallie. :)

That's it for now. I'm still composing my Sweet 18 review. And oh... I might not be able to post anything very substantial soon. As you can see, I still have Dong Gun Fever, and realistically, my stomach cramps have been attacking lately. So there.

Godbless!

A Prayer for the Holy Pope

2005-04-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

Before anything else...

Two weeks after our beloved Pope John Paul II met his Maker, the Vatican has announced the name of the new leader of the Catholic Church: Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, or Pope Benedict XVI.

In this light, I would like to offer a prayer to the new Pontiff, that he may have the best of health so that he could serve the Lord and the Catholic population of the world in the best way he can. May he be able to overcome all of the obstacles that will be coming his way, and may he be able to lead more people closer to God.

Dong Gun Oppa!!!

2005-04-19T14:33:00.000+08:00

I just finished seeing Sweet 18 and I literally had a sleepless night. Grabe... eksaherado ang ka-presh-an ni Lee Dong Gun Oppa rito! And I'm just so happy and giddy that I wanna share with you a wallpaper that I made nung time na na-crush-an ko siya sa Lovers in Paris (Obvious ba eh Martin yung nakalagay na pangalan? Feeling ko nga pag nakita ni Dong Gun ito magtataka yun kung bakit Martin ang pangalang nakalagay sa picture niya. Maloka siya!). I don't remember where I got this pic, pero I'm pretty sure that this was from a pictorial for Stained Glass or Yuriwha, which is being shown now in ABS-CBN.

Dong Gun fans, just click the image below to download the wallpaper. Enjoy!

Awww... isn't he the cutest? Nae sarang Dong Gun Oppa!

Turning Korean

2005-04-18T17:25:00.000+08:00

My gawsh.

I have never spent so much time watching, dreaming (daydreaming or otherwise) and gushing over Koreanovelas like I am now. And guess what? I have even succesfully forgotten Chever (Note: the one who makes my heart ache like crazy) because of my addiction to Sweet 18! How kulit is that?

Haayyy...

Dong Gun: Tara, you are always on my mind.

Oh, Dong Gun Oppa... you didn't have to!!! *blush!*

***

Sweet 18 Update:

I just finished episode 11 at 5:00 in the morning earlier, and may I just say this: If I heard my love tell me that he loves me, there is no way I'm going to leave him alone, even if it kills me! :)

Sarang hae yo!!!

2005-04-16T15:23:00.000+08:00

I hope I was correct stating that title of mine. I'm sure as hell it means "I love you" in Korean... and if I spelled it incorrectly, I'm sorry.

Actually, I was thinking of a title appropriate for this entry. As you might already have figured out, this is about my sudden ardour for Koreanovela heroes like Martin (Lee Dong Gun) of Lovers in Paris, Cholo (Kwon Sang Woo) of Stairway to Heaven, and Francis (Ji Sung) of Save the Last Dance for Me. But of course, this is NOT just about that. Its also about some of the things I've noticed about the Koreanovelas we've been addicted to since the Chinovela fever subsided. At kung sakaling mabarubal ko man ang mga paborito niyong Koreanovela, sorry na lang ha? Ito lang talaga ang mga napansin ko at nakapagpabagabag sa isip ko.

Ready? Here we go.

The Amnesiacs: Jodi (Choi Ji Woo), Francis (Ji Sung), and Martin (Lee Dong Gun)

[1] AMNESIA. I'm sure a lot of you Koreanovela avids will agree with me when I say that amnesia is one recurring factor in Koreanovelas. In Stairway to Heaven, Jodi (Choi Ji Woo) had amnesia after an accident caused by her stepsister. Francis (Ji Sung) lived as Adrian in Save the Last Dance for Me because he couldn't remember who he was after being brawled and hit by a car. And Martin (Lee Dong Gun) pretended to have amnesia towards the end of Lovers in Paris because she wants his uncle Carlo (Park Shin Yang) and the woman he loves, Vivian (Kim Jeung Eun) to forgive his bad behavior towards them.

Aside from these three Koreanovelas (which I have some knowledge of), my friends say there are other Koreanovelas which have amnesia playing a big factor in its story. (Hindi ko na maalala... parang Endless Love ata tsaka The Truth. Correct me na lang if I'm wrong.) Of course I would have to take their word for it since I haven't seen all those Koreanovelas they've been addicting themselves to.

Okay... so WHAT IS IT with amnesia? Answer: I don't know. I just find it funny that majority of these Koreanovelas follow the same flow. Its not entirely different with how our own soap operas flow, is it? :) Ngayon tuloy kapag nanonood ako ng soaps or Koreanovelas, ang unang reaction ko kapag may character na naaaksidente ay, "Ay! Magkaka-amnesia siya!!!"

[2] THE LOVE TRIANGLE/SQUARE. Let me see if I can figure this out, okay? It's a tad complicated. :)

The Lovers in Paris Triangle: Martin loves Vivian loves Carlo.

The Stairway to Heaven Triangle: Tristan loves Jodi loves Cholo.

The Save Your Last Dance for Me Square: Steven loves Sandy loves Francis; Celine loves Francis loves Sandy.

Love triangles. Oooh.

And to make matters worse, they add one more person to complete the perfect square! Martin, Vivian and Carlo have Karen, Carlo's ex-wife. Tristan (Shin Hyun Joon), Jodi and Cholo have Eunice, Jodi's stepsister who is madly in love with Cholo. Steven, Sandy and Francis have Celine (Lee Boo Young), Francis' fiance for ten years. Now that complicates things quite a bit, don't you think?

Again, its not entirely different from our soaps. In fact, they are so much the same... that's why we are endeared to the characters of these Koreanovelas so much. The only difference is that Koreanovelas move miles faster than our soaps. (Honestly, I like it that some of our soaps are beginning to pace quicker nowadays. They're learning! Thank God!) :)

[3] ROUGH LEADING MEN. Did you guys notice how rough Korean leading men are with their leading ladies? Take for example, Martin, who would always pull Vivian's arm just to get her attention. And Cholo, who would playfully push, kick and hit Jodi in the head when they mess around. The same goes for Francis too, when he was still living his life as Adrian in Sandy's father's hotel.

My cousin Pearl and I kind of like leading men like that... but not too much. I mean, its kind of fun roughing it up and playing around, but sometimes it could be kind of irritating having a person like that pushing and pulling you anytime he wants like you were a rag doll of some sort. Korean leading men sort of remind me of my College Kabarkada, Ian, who would show his affection to his girlfriend by engaging in a slapfest. Wala lang...

Its just funny, because we saw a Korean couple before in Greenbelt, and they were having an argument. We wouldn't know about what, of course, they were speaking in their native tongue! They just reminded me of our Koreanovela heroes and heroines, because there they were, walking around Greenbelt, bantering with each other, the guy trying to pull the girl away. Lovers in Parksquare? Stairway to Greenbelt? Save the Last Slap for Me? :)

We wonder, also... if in real life, all Korean men are like those portrayed in their Koreanovelas. Hmmm... pretty interesting.

[4] RICH LEADING MEN. I just noticed that all three bidas of the Koreanovelas I've seen are Presidents or high-ranking officials of their own companies. Wow... gaano ba karaming lalaki sa Korea ang presidente ng sarili nilang kompanya? Makapunta na nga ng Seoul! :)

Also, as my friend Mitzi so wittily put it, "(Dahil sa Koreanovelas), nalaman ko na ang mga Presidente pala ng kompanya ay laging may time na makipag-date!" Well said! I also noticed that from Carlo, Francis and Cholo. They would put off work so that they could be with the women they love. Si Cholo nga, he would hold very unnecessary parties para lang hindi magkita sina Tristan at Jodi (when Jodi still had amnesia and assumed the name Jenna).

I mean... how kewl is that? Hehehe. If that were true in Korea, they must have very delinquent company presidents. :) But of course it might just be fictional, right? I wouldn't really know.

[5] THE KOREAN LOVER'S CARRY Here in the Philippines, we are accustomed to the traditional lover's carry which is usually done when the groom carries the bride like a baby as they enter their house, hotel suite or any other honeymoon venue. Its also a popular act of care and concern (and love, also) in Filipino soaps.

But of course, our Korean friends have their own version of the lover's carry. I'm sure all you Koreanovela fans noticed that. Who would've ever thought that the classic piggy-back carry would be so sweet and romantic?

O, hindi ba? Kung buhat-buhatin na lang ni Martin si Vivian kapag natitiyempuhan niyang iniiwan ito ni Carlo? Ang sweet, diba? Eh yung naka-piggy back pa rin si Jodi kay Cholo nung huling eksena nila sa Stairway to Heaven? How very loving and sad at the same time...

Naalala ko, sabi pa nga sa Bubble Gang, "Alam mo naman, para sa ating mga Koreano, ito (piggy-back carry) ang simbolo ng tunay at wagas na pagmamahalan!" Hahaha! How true! :) And how I wish meron ding lalaking magko-Korean lover's carry sa akin! At siyempre, dahil KOREAN lover's carry nga, dapat KOREAN din ang gumawa!!! Okay na sa akin si Oppa Lee Dong Gun o si Oppa Sang Woo. Yun lang naman!

There... I would've written a lot more but damn! I have to go and watch more Korean movies and telenovelas. Grabe... I'm turning Korean na! And I thought my love for anything Korean would die after the sudden pull-out of New Nonstop 3 in Arirang last year. Grabe na 'to!

Sarang hae yo!!!

So, Wazzup?

2005-04-15T01:48:00.000+08:00

Today, for the first time since my birthday and also my last day at work with the Wazzup, Wazzup crew, I visited the show's set. Nothing really has changed with the set, and the people most especially. They're still the same warm and funny people I knew, and left.

One of the earliest Wazzup pics I took myself. Ain't Drew the cutest?

The first person from the cast who gave me my first tight hug was Drew. Wala pa ring nagbago. He's still the same old nice guy... and it was the same old "kilig" hug I got. He was like "Awww... Tara... we missed you!" and hugged me for a good 10 seconds there. Man, that was COOL.

I did miss Drew very much, especially because he was one of the people I so LOVED working with. (Yeah. THAT was the understatement of the year!) I got to give it to the guy... he's just simply adorable. Those who read my blog since last year would have known how Drew treats us, the staff. Well... finished with the 10-second hug... moving on...

I was so happy to see Toni once more. When I left Wazzup, she just transferred to ABS-CBN and was having a difficult time shielding herself from all the badmouthing she was getting from the press. Now, she's one of the most sought after TV hosts and comediennes in the industry. Not that she wasn't in that status before... it's just that her star shone brighter when she transferred.

Tin and me wearing the uniform of the day: Bandannas!!!

Anyway, she kept on talking the usual Toni Gonzaga way: "Yan na nga ba'ng sinasabi ko Tara eh... bakit ka bumibisita rito samantalang bukas na ang anniversary!? Why? Why?" (I kinda paraphrased. The three hosts were all talking at the same time so I didn't get to catch exactly what each one was saying.) And then Kuya Vhong told Toni to show me a short video that she made, which, as Kuya Vhong said, had me in it.

Toni asked her PA to get her laptop, and then she turned it on. She handed it over to me and asked me to watch the video. It was a 4-minute music video collage of pictures taken of the Wazzup staff and cast, episode screencaps, pictorials and many more. I can hear Ronan Keating singing "When you say nothing at all" in the background. It was a wonderful and touching video that Toni edited herself. (Great job, Toni!)

While watching the video, Kuya Vhong teasingly handed me some tissue. Baka raw kasi maiyak ako... na sa totoo lang eh muntik-muntikanan na, kung hindi nila ako kinukulit nang sobra. As in sobrang ingay nila sa loob ng dressing room! Parang piyesta!

I also got to know Mel, the researcher who replaced me. Nagsusumbong sa akin kasi raw hindi Mel ang tawag sa kanya ng mga tao sa Wazzup kundi Tara. Even Toni would call her using my name. Earlier in fact, she said, when she handed Kuya Vhong the episode script, he told her, "Thanks, Tara."

That really touched me.

One of the Christmas Toniokes we had where the three hosts had to sing. That's me in the green shirt. Note how serious Toni is. And look who's super enthusiastic to sing!

Ladies and gentlemen, the actual singing. Heeheehee. Saludo ako kay Kuya Vhong dito. Biruin mo, siya lang ang tumula! :) Labyu, Kuya!

Kaya naman daw pala "Tara" ang tawag nila kay Mel eh dahil halos pareho raw kaming magbihis. Minsan nga raw, nag-off shoulder pa siya sabay baseball cap. Napaisip tuloy ako kung kailan ako nag-off shoulder. Hehehe. Besides that, she's also the one who replaced me as Toni's so-called vocal coach whenever there's Tonioke. And according to Sheiden, halos pareho rin kami ng style na mag-beat at kumumpas sa tabi ng teleprompter.

Nevertheless, I'm touched because Kuya Vhong, Drew and Toni didn't forget about me. Simple lang naman akong tao eh. Wag mo lang akong kalimutan, masaya na ako roon. So when I heard Mel's story, I was really touched to tears. Pero siyempre hindi ako umiyak noh... tama na muna ang melodrama. Besides, Wazzup is a gag show... not a soap opera.

It was so nice to see and hug some of my most favorite people on earth: my good friend Chaps, my "beb" Sheiden, my Papa Eric, Allan, Mark, Ate Shey, Kuya Vhong (who I missed so much!!!), Toni, Drew, my anak JC (who I saw the day before)... grabe, it was a very happy and sad day altogether. Even the utility men missed me (Mga Kuya!!! Walang kalimutan ah! Konyatan ko kayo!).

I would've stayed longer to hang out with the Wazzup people, but they were so busy putting up the grand Anniversary Special later today (which, I'm sure would be a blast) so I just discreetly left and wished them all good luck.

This is a pictorial that followed after the shoot of the Studio 23 station ID. I'm the one in the orange shirt. Saya... super.

Anyhow, kahit anong sabihin ng mga tao na kesyo umalis ako sa show because I hate the show... it is SO WRONG. I loved the show to death and I would do anything and everything for the show, and for the people in the show with whom I have emotional attachments with. But once and for all, I would like them to know that I left the show not because I fell out of love with them, but because I realized I have to love my life also. Production is a serious business, and you gotta be physically fit to stay in the business. I lacked that trait, so I had to go. Pero gaya nga ng sinabi ko... if THIS is really for me, then chances are, babalik at babalik din ako rito.

Hindi man sa Wazzup family na minahal ko, pero sa mga taong natutunan kong mahalin, babalik at babalik ako. I miss them so much that I want to give them the tightest hugs in the world. Happy Anniversary to Wazzup, Wazzup!!!

I just lost it. Totally.

2005-04-14T16:26:00.000+08:00

Last night, I was really pooped coming from Quezon City. It wasn't my intention to go out yesterday because of the extremely humid weather, but because Michael texted me (at 5:30 in the morning) to go with him to ABS-CBN for business purposes, I had no choice but to cancel my Sweet 18 Marathon.

Ang dyahe pa, sobrang sakit ng mata ko because I didn't get enough sleep. I tired my eyes the night before, gluing them to the computer for around 5 hours straight. Kasi nga akala ko makakapag-lamierda ako sa bahay. Eh yung hindi pala?

I went home at around 11:00pm, dropping Mike off at Klownz Quezon Avenue, and immediately tuned the TV to Star World. At around 8:00 pm that night kasi, Mitzi texted me about my American Idol bet Constantine's smashing performance that night. The song? No less than Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

Nakakatawa, after Constantine's performance talagang tinext ko si Mike. Sabi ko: "Ma, you need to watch MY Constantine sing Bohemian Rhapsody! I just lost it! I totally lost it! Watch ka, 230am replay, Starworld. Kakatuwa rin performance ni Vonzell." Hahaha!

I was so proud of Constantine's performance last night, I just felt my heart leap and crash on the floor! Grabe... it was intense!!! Not to mention I really LOVE the song! Ganda ng choice niya... kaya naman talagang napa-wow ang mga tao sa kanya kagabi. And oh... did I mention that he stuck his tongue out just before singing the bridge? Grabe... kalowks!

And then just when I thought I would be resting my eyes already, my cousin Pearl asked me to pop My Tutor Friend (a Korean movie starring Kwon Sang Woo and Kim Ha Neul) in the VCD player. Siyempre ako naman, madaling kausap kaya nagpaunlak ako agad. (At 1:00am, no less!)

Buti na lang nagpaunlak nga ako. The movie was so cute! And siyempre, this movie wouldn't have been great without Oppa Sang Woo! His character in this movie is a 180-degree shift from his romantic, sweet-as-chocolate leading man bit in Stairway to Heaven. Here, he is a bullying son of a bitch who dislikes studying.

In Stairway to Heaven, he swoons, cries a lot and does anything and everything in his power to please Choi Ji Woo and make her happy. In this movie, he mistreats his tutor Kim Ha Neul, picks fights with anyone who crosses his path and thinks about sex even when he's studying English.(See, I told you it was an entirely different role!)

Heto lang ang masasabi ko kay Oppa Sang Woo matapos kong mapanood ang kanyang kick-ass moves at bad boy quips: HAYLABYU!!! At hindi totoong katawan lang ang habol ko sa iyo! Harharhar!

Thanks to Mitzi for my TV and movie viewing pleasure nga pala(kanya rin kasi yung Korean movies na nahiram ko). Kahit nanakit ang mga mata ko kagabi, busog naman ang puso ko!

Since when did I grow up?

2005-04-10T02:39:00.000+08:00

When you ask my friends to describe me, chances are, you would hear them say that I'm childlike sometimes. I like watching cartoons. I like to play games. I like to buy stuffed toys for myself. I like puppies, and butterflies, and ice cream. I like playing with kids and making a fool out of myself. I like pretending I'm a kid...

This early in the year I've noticed a very big change in me... and I did not like it. Since when did I grow up?

When I was four years old, and in Nursery, I never worried about a thing. A year later, in Kinder, my only worry-moment was when I "accidentally" pooped in my underpants. And then, nothing else bothered me much, except of course getting high grades in class... but that was easy enough for me at the time.

Years later in elementary, worries became bigger as subjects became harder. I strived to be at the top of my class since my parents expected me to, and because I also wanted to. In High School, it was quite the same. Grades, class projects, performances for the Dance Club... coupled with barkada issues that emerged like mushrooms.

College was pretty much the same. Grades were the top priority, and so was graduating on time.

Looking back I realize that my worries then were pretty much connected to myself, and myself alone. I focused so much on what I did, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Only now, my worries got a lot bigger. My teachers were right when they told me that I should enjoy my school life.

Now, there are no grades, class projects and performances to worry about... because now, there are salaries, budgets, tuition fees and matters of the heart to keep me awake through the wee hours of the morning. I never thought it would be this taxing to think about those stuff, and I never imagined I would be thinking about them this early in my life. I'm just 22, but if THIS keeps up, I might turn 40 by my next birthday.

I know that there are other people out there who have bigger concerns than I have, and I respect that. Its just that right now, I'm just frustrated that I couldn't keep my young heart flying freely in the air with fairy dust and happy thoughts.

"I will save my last dance for you..."

2005-04-09T01:50:00.000+08:00

Siguro ang sarap ng feeling pag narinig mo ang mga salitang ito mula sa mahal mo, ano? Siguro sa haba ng buhok mo, puwede ka nang maging model ng The Original Mane & Tail... at pupulupot sa buong Eiffel Tower ang hair mo!

Well... that is not exactly the line Francis told Sandy in the last episode of Save the Last Dance for Me. It was something like, "It was you whom I saved my last dance for," or something to that effect. Nevertheless, I still shed tears. Okay... here we go again. What a wimp.

Honestly, I wasn't really satisfied with the ending. I was expecting a more extravagant, spectacular reunion between the fated lovers, but the show ended up with a more serene setting. Pero okay lang. Ang mahalaga, happy ending ang Save the Last Dance. After watching Stairway to Heaven's 20 episodes last February (nanghiram kasi si Mommy), I don't think I can watch another heavy drama.

After Francis said those final lines to Sandy, I wondered: To whom will I save my last dance for?

My answer for the moment: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hulaan niyo na lang. Hehehe.

Thank you, Holy Father...

2005-04-09T01:34:00.000+08:00

Just like millions of people all over the world, I was saddened by the demise of the most loved Pope that the world has ever seen, Pope John Paul II. I would always remember the image of the Holy Father playfully twirling his wooden cane in his hand while the Filipino people cheered him on in the 1995 World Youth Day. I wasn't there physically, but I felt the Pope's holy presence.

Also, I would always remember the Pope as a cheerful and jolly person. I just love it when he smiles. He reminds me of the picture of the laughing Christ. Indeed, I saw the peaceful and gentle face of Christ in his.

I couldn't help but shed tears whenever I see those 30-second and 1 minute spots on TV honoring the Holy Father. I'm not a very devout Catholic, but I felt the Pope's genuine love for the people of the world, especially those who have been deprived of convenient lives, and I, with the rest of the world, loved him for that.

Tonight, at 6:00 pm Manila time, the Holy Father we all loved was laid to his final resting place, and in God's loving arms. Thank you for the lessons of love and grace, Holy Father. May your soul rest in peace.

Halo-halo sa Baguio!

2005-04-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

Summer is here once again! And Pinoy summer will not be complete without a special glass of halo-halo to quench your thirst-slash-sweet-tooth! I personally like Chowking Special Halo-Halo... kasi masarap yung leche flan nila. Hehehe. How about you? I bet you have your own favorite too.

My entry, however, will not be about halo-halo or its delicious sahog. It's just aptly named because I'll be making kuwento about the different people, things and places I've encountered while on vacation in Baguio City. Halo-halong kuwento... ganun. So here goes... hope I quench your thirst for kuwento. Heehee.

Cafe by the Ruins ROCKS!!!

The first place Macri, Ate Pearl and I hung-out in when we got to Baguio was this old place in #25 Chuntug Street, Baguio City. Its called Cafe by the Ruins... and boy, was it a perfect place for hopeless romantics like us!

We arrived at the place at around 6:00 in the evening, and sat ourselves on the farthest side of the cafe, near a big and round stone structure which probably served as a stage for poetry readings or rituals being done there. This is because Cafe by the Ruins was founded so that Baguio-based artists and writers will have a place to hang out in and jam, so to speak.

It took us quite a while before we ordered our food because our mouths were still agape while feasting our senses with the ambiance of the place. Wooden furniture everywhere, yellow colored light, candles and flowers on the table, plus the trademark cool Baguio air... it was heavenly. It was perfect.

I ordered Ruins Pasta. Macri had Classic Pasta, and Ate Pearl had Spinach Lasagna. And then we asked Rhey (the very nice waiter who served us) to suggest which kind of tea was their best. He mentioned Red Johanna, and we ordered for a pot.

While waiting for our orders, we spent time bantering about not bringing a camera. Sayang. Kodak moment pa naman. Maganda kami under yellow light eh... I learned that in College. Sabi kasi, gumaganda at gumaguwapo raw ang tao sa yellow light, kaya lagi sa mga pelikula, pag romantic ang mood, yellow light ang gamit. Not to mention, romantic pa ang dating. Sayang... puro kami girls. Meron pa naman sanang tatlong vacant seats sa table namin... sakto sana. Harharhar.

Ruins Pasta was great! And so was Red Johanna. It tasted softly of strawberry, and it leaves a certain sweetness in your mouth. Yung tipong if you drink the tea and kiss someone on the lips afterwards, malalasahan niya pa yung tea sa bibig mo. Ganun. (Ay! Ang halay!)

After eating our respective dishes, we suddenly remembered the Champorado & Tinapa that was included in the menu. We decided to give it a try, so we ordered one serving of Champorado & Tinapa... para maka-experience lang, ganun. Again, it was Rhey who served us, and with the serving of Champorado & Tinapa came three little spoons. We laughed. We didn't even tell Rhey to give us three spoons. He just assumed we would share. That's why we found him nice. But that's not after I joked about the spoons.

Joke Scenario: Rhey, the waiter serves the food with three spoons and I quip: "Aba! Bakit tatlo ang kutsarang binigay mo? Are you insinuating na tatlo kaming maghahati sa champoradong ito? Ano'ng akala mo sa amin, mahirap?"

Naturally, the waiter will be stunned with the reaction, and probably would apologize or not be able to speak. And then enters my supposed dialogue after I grab one of the spoons: "Oo nga. Thank you ha?" Sabay subo ng champorado. Mmmm. Tsalap!

We had a great time in Cafe by the Ruins. Unfortunately, we weren't able to go back anymore in the following days. Naubos kasi ang pera sa kakabili sa ukay-ukay. I would've loved to go back there just to have a taste of Red Johanna. It had me hooked on the first cup. :)

So... when you guys get to go to our Summer Capital, check out Cafe by the Ruins. Prices are reasonable, considering the tasty and healthy food (ex. a generous helping of Ruins Pasta costs Php132.00, and a pot of refillable Red Johanna is Php50.00), and the ambiance is just so wonderful. Romantics will fall in love with the place, that's for sure.

Cafe by the Ruins
#25 Chuntug Street, Baguio City
(074) 442-4010 | (074) 446-4010
FAX: (074) 442-5272
ruins@mozcom.com

Picha Volante Boys

It was Holy Thursday, and we were walking up Session Road, looking for pasalubong for my little sister Jill. We chanced upon this car parked near Pizza Volante, covered by a blanket and decorated with little bags, trinkets, earrings and necklaces. They were for sale, and they definitely caught my attention.

We stopped by to take a look at the trinkets, and I was amazed at the different designs of necklaces that were being sold. Not only that, one of the guys selling the stuff caught our attention too. He was cute. And he was also helpful in volunteering information about the stuff they were selling. You see, some of the necklaces' pendants were designed to look like tribal symbols for wealth, fertility and the like. And Mr. Cute was the one telling us about what those pendants stood for even though we were not asking.

Si Ate Pearl... instant atraction ata. Harharhar. Pagka-alis na pagka-alis namin sa lugar na yun (well, not after Macri bought a huge set of antique/Sing-Galing gong looking earrings), gusto na agad bumalik para makita si Mr. Cute. Unfortunately, just like what happened with Cafe by the Ruins, we didn't get the chance to go back there again and have another "educational" encounter with Mr. Cute.

Galing UK!

If there's one talent I'm proud of, it would be my knack for finding cool shirts and other apparel in ukay-ukays. The last time, I was able to buy five shirts and a pair of pants, all for less than five hundred pesos. It would have been cheaper if not for the sad state of tourism in Baguio (meningococcemia was to blame), but since the ukay business started losing money, they had no choice but to raise prices. The shirts and blouses which were for sale at Php30.00 to Php50.00 then were being sold at Php70.00 to Php85.00.

Nevertheless, I chose the best ones I found... ang saya! Bago na namang set ng wardrobe ito! Hehehe... we even staged a mini-fashion show for Mommy when we got home. Ate Pearl, with her all-black and malalandi ensembles, Macri with her purpleness and I, with my cartoon-looking designed clothes (halos lahat kasi may mukha at drawings).

Sabi pa ni Ate Pearl, napaghahalata raw ang mga personalidad namin sa mga binibili naming damit. Kako, oo nga. Siya kasi, halos lahat ng binili niya, itim at medyo revealing. Malanding mataba, kako. Not that she's very fat. She's just trying to hide little love handles around the waist. Hehehe. Si Macri naman, iisang color-scheme lang ang sinusunod. Monochromatic purple ang kulay. Parang gustong mag-model ng halaya sa Maynila. Ako naman ang perennial isip-bata, dahil yung mga nabili ko, puro may cartoons.

SM Baguio: Super Maganda!

Black Saturday, Macri, Ate Pearl and I went to the city again to buy some more clothes from UK2 (ukay-ukay). Afterwards, we went on a food trip of binatog (big white corn kernels with sugar, milk and grated coconut), fishballs, kikiam, kwek-kwek/tokneneng (quail eggs with orange breading) and grilled dried squid.

While on our food trip, I noticed that the newly constructed SM Baguio was quite near (keyword: QUITE), so I said, "Punta tayong SM Baguio!"

Naman. Ma-experience man lang diba? So there we were, three little girls walking through Burnham Park, up an overpass and through the road where the old Victory Liner station stood. In other words, ANG LAYO NG NILAKAD NAMIN!!! What I thought was just a short stroll ended up to be an exhausting fifteen-minute walk! For the first time ever since I got to Baguio that week, i broke sweat!

At siyempre, ako na naman daw ang sinisi nung dalawa. Actually, okay lang. Ako naman kasi ang nagsabi sa kanila na, "Basta! Sundan niyo lang ako!"

Ayun! Awa ng Diyos, nagkaligaw-ligaw kami dahil sa sinabi kong iyon! And I thought there was never going to be a colder walk than what I experienced that night walking through the flyover in Buendia. Harharhar!

Anyhow, we finally got to SM Baguio and we JUST LOVED the place! There's a cafe on every floor (Starbucks, Figaro, Seattle's Best, etc.), a lovely veranda, and fresh air everywhere! Saan ka makakakita ng SM na labas-masok ang malamig na simoy ng hangin? Na hindi air con ha? As in fresh air? :)

So ayun, nagpaka-gaga lang kami ni Ate Pearl sa veranda... we tried to chill ourselves to death and stuff like that. There's this Gerry's Grill branch on the 3rd floor, facing the beautiful night sky, and we joked that if ever we eat at that branch and order sisig, the sisig would just freeze five minutes after it was served! Ganun kalamig! Eksaherado!

I'm back!!!

2005-04-06T23:13:00.000+08:00

Oh, God I missed this blog!!!

Hi everyone! How are you? Just got home from a 12-day vacation in Baguio City... and may I tell you that my seven-hour travel from Baguio to Manila was not an easy one. First of all, it was my first time to travel alone (as in, wala akong kasamang family and friends) from Baguio, or from a distance that far in my entire 22 years of existence. Yeah, yeah. I hear you. What a wimp.

Okay, never mind that trip. I have lots of things to say... pero wag na muna ngayon. I still have to compose myself. Still a bit shaken from the trip, that's for sure.

One thing I'm gonna say though, is I'm glad to be back in Manila and be able to log back in cyberspace again. I'm just also sad because of Pope John Paul II's demise last Sunday morning Manila time. When I think about his visit here in 1995 for World Youth Day, I remember a very cheerful and strong Pope who blessed the Philippines and reminded us that our country is always in God's grace. Now he's gone, and he's in God's loving arms for sure. It's just sad... but I guess its also God's way of telling him to rest after a hard 27 years of work.

That's all for now, folks. Got lots of kuwento for you next time! Mwah!!!

Hiatus

2005-03-23T14:28:00.000+08:00

It's Holy Week once again, and for some of us, Holy Week means time off from work and school. For me, though, it means going to Baguio again after missing out on vacationing there last year (because I was just starting to work for Wazzup). And of course, it also means a time of prayer and fasting. (Bad Tara, bad Tara!)

I'm leaving with my family for Baguio tonight, and I'm not sure when I'll be back. Pero baka nandito na ako ng first week of April kasi may mga dapat pa akong asikasuhing obligasyon na hindi ko nga maiwanan at hanggang ngayon eh iniisip ko pa kung paano ie-execute. So before I leave for the Summer Capital of the Philippines, let me just make kuwento about quite a number of things that I encountered for the past week or so.

Pink Men in Love

I'm super proud of my LITERA2 professor Sir Jerry Torres for being able to publish his very first book entitled, Pink Men in Love and other stories. I was there when the book was launched last March 12, Saturday in Powerbooks Greenbelt, and I also got to meet some of my favorite professors: Sir Ronald Baytan, Master F (Frances Sangil) and Sir Vince Groyon. Of course, the book's author was there too, in all his pink glory. Heehee, how cute.

It was quite nostalgic being there. I felt like being in La Salle again, only, I had no term papers, thesis proposals and storyboards to worry about. I wasn't able to really TALK to my professors, but it was really nice just being there and being able to see them and hear them speak.

Sir Baytan, for example... one of the professors I dearly love (uuuyyy! charos!) gave the introduction for Sir Jerry. I felt like sitting inside his classroom and listening to his usual lecture with a British accent (but Sir Baytan is Chinese). Nakaka-miss. He also asked me to take his picture as he delivered his introduction, but cautioned me to take his picture ONLY when he is smiling. "Alam mo naman ang lola mo, laging naka-sima (simangot)," he said and I smiled. Walang pinagbago ang lola, gusto laging maganda siya. :)

Sir Groyon was his usual sarcastic self. He asked me where I worked, and when I said I just resigned from ABS-CBN, asked what show I worked for.

"Wazzup, Wazzup."

"Oh good," he said.

"I knew you were going to say that," I said and rolled my eyes.

"The show is not funny. Pero maganda ang chemistry nung tatlo (referring to Vhong, Drew and Toni)."

"So you watch the show!?" I asked, surprised.

"Only when I'm waiting for The Amazing Race."

Okay. No use arguing with Lord V (as my blockmates called him). The rest of the night I spent listening to my professors talking and making landi. (They're all gay, except for Master F who, like I, is an honorary member of the third sex.) Sir Baytan was the one who kept on talking to me, and it was fun hearing some of his stories.

I bought Sir Jerry's book after I had dinner with my cousin Pearl and friend Red in Cafe Bola. I finished reading it that night. It was a nice, refreshing read. I recommend it to my gay and non-gay friends. Masaya siya... magaan basahin. Don't expect me to give a detailed review. I'm not very good at that. Basta... masaya siya. Tapos. :)

Station 168

Mike brought me to Station 168 (Makati Avenue Branch) for the first time last March 13. It was a cool place, with majority of its customers Koreans. (Hello, Mitzi... dito ka raw dapat lagi tumatambay sabi ni Mike! Harharhar!) It's a very clean internet and gaming cafe where you can also order food and beverage. Good service... at mabilis ang internet ha? You guys should try surfing there one time. They also have add-ons such as webcams, cd players, headsets and the like.

Try niyo. They have lots of branches around the metro. They also have one in Malate and Tomas Morato. :)

Hurray for Hollywood!

I got the chance to take a peek at this Fritz Ynfante-directed show because Mike was in it and I videotaped his rehearsal and performances. I also got to hang out with OJ Mariano, Sandy David and Nyko Maca. For those who don't know them, sorry na lang kayo. Harharhar. No, seriously, OJ and Nyko were Star in a Million 2 Grand Finalists, and Sandy David was a Star in a Million May Finalist along with Mike.

OJ was a surprise. I always thought he was aloof and all that, probably because of his imposing figure and built, but he was a cool guy. He laughed a lot, and was madaldal. He also kind of acts like a kid sometimes. (And by that, I don't mean in a bad way, okay?) Nakakatuwa pala siya. Sandy and Nyko were also great people. Sandy is very sweet, and she has a very powerful voice. Nyko, meanwhile was a great performer. She can dance as well as Douglas Nierras' Powerdance. Nakikipagsabayan. Ang galing. :)

To OJ, Sandy, Nyko, Mike, Ms. Isay Alvarez, the Powerdance and Mr. Fritz Ynfante... congratulations for a great show!

Spanglish

Saw this movie with my bestfriend, Macri, Mike, Wella, Rocky and Mhel last March 18. It was a surprisingly good movie, considering that Adam Sandler was the lead actor. Not that I don't like Adam, actually crush ko nga siya, pero akala ko puro katarantaduhan din ang pelikulang ito like Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison and the like.

I could write a review for this movie, but maybe I'll do that later. Wala pa masyado sa align ang utak ko. Basta, the most memorable line of this movie... for me at least...

"Will you get out of the wind!?" - John (Adam Sandler) to Flor

Diba, Macri? Hahaha! Watch the movie so you'll know what I'm talking about. :)

And also... magawa nga yung ginawa ni Flor kay John. Yung "I love you" sabay takbo. And when I say takbo, as in TAKBO!!!

Plaridel peeps!!!

It was so nice having to meet old friends again after not seeing them for a while. The night we saw Spanglish, we also got to meet our Plaridel friends. Wala na akong pakialam kung nagtitili ako sa labas ng Bubba Gump sa Greenbelt. I was just so excited to see them again. And Rexy was right, some things remain unchanged. :)

Ronald, Rexy, Lea, Majo, Ian, Ryann, Jeann, CK, Ryan (did I forget anyone?)... thanks for being there in Greenbelt that night. Nabawasan ang pagkapanglaw ko dahil sa inyo. I do hope we could hang out and spend time together like before. Sana one of these days. I miss you guys SO MUCH!

Market! Market!

Did you know that watching a movie in Market! Market! will only cost you 90 pesos when it's a newly released movie and 70 pesos if the movie is already on its 2nd or 3rd week?

Yehey!!! Dito na ako sa Market! Market! manonood ng sine! Grabe... ang mahal kasi sa Greenbelt! I do hope the moviehouses are clean. I'm assuming they are. :)

Kuya Jhong in Stardance

Last March 19, I watched Stardance in Channel 2... and I was so surprised when Kuya Jhong (Hilario) danced with that girl from Powerdance! They did an interpretative number, swaying to Josh Groban's Broken Vow. And WOW! I fell in love with Kuya Jhong all over again! Great movements, heart-breaking facial expressions, breath-taking acrobatics... what more could I have asked for!?

Kuya Jhong, I know I already texted you this... but damn, I have to say it again. YOU WERE GREAT! I loved the dance... and I missed you also!

To those who don't know, Kuya Jhong is one of the sweetest, most gentlemanly people I know. At nakaka-miss 'tong taong 'to nang sobra. I don't even remember when we met last, pero alam ko sa ABS pa yun. Kuya Jhong, miss na kita! Mwah! Labyu!!!

***

There... I'm through with my long post. I think this will suffice my absence for the next two weeks na. Hehehe... to all of you reading my blog, have a happy and restful vacation, and have a peaceful Holy Week. Stay safe, y'all! Mwah!

Busy ako!!!

2005-03-20T18:31:00.000+08:00

...matulog!

Hehehe. Ang cute ko naman pala, mukha akong aso. Pero kidding aside, I love that I get lots of sleep lately, even if I sleep at the usual time I do when I had a regular job. Mga 3:00 in the morning pa lang ako natutulog, pero at least I won't have to worry about getting to work the next day.

Pero kailangan ko na rin ng regular na trabaho. Wala na akong pera. Hindi ko rin mae-enjoy ang summer na ito kung walang pang-gala, diba? Hehehe. Makapaghanap na nga ng mga raket!!!

Happy summer, everyone! Don't get burned!

Just to inform you...

2005-03-15T01:32:00.000+08:00

... I'm not a moody person. But sometimes, tragedies strike. And I consider my mood swings tragic because when they attack I tend to be a person who is an exact opposite of myself... and I don't like that. So here... just read this post survey and try to see what mood I'm in the next time we meet. (Credits to Friendster and my anak Rexy's post for this.)

Are you emotional?
Yes. Very.

Do songs make you cry?
Yes. The latest was "I Can't Make You Love Me" by George Michael.

What about movies?
Yes. I can't remember though, what latest movie I've seen made me cry.

What emotion do you usually feel?
Something in between happiness and loneliness. May pagka-lost.

What does it take to make you cry your heart out?
Not being able to show the person you love how much you just love them.

Where do you cry?
It depends. Sometimes I hide somewhere and cry alone. Sometimes I cry with a friend I trust.

Do you hate crying?
No. I truly believe its therapeutic.

Do you think tears make eyes look pretty?
Maybe. I don't look at my eyes when I cry. And I tend to not look at other people when they cry because they might make me cry also.

SADNESS

How else do you express sadness?
Write stuff in my blog, in my diaries. Sing sad songs.

ANGER

What do you do when you're angry?
I cry. And then I write stuff down or call the person closest to me who I think will understand the issue which made me angry.

How short is your temper?
I have a very long temper (Pucha... tama ba yon?). So you can just imagine how big the issue is when I get mad.

How long does it take you to calm down?
Depends on the issue, and who is/are involved.

What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
I don't remember.

Do you freak out when others are angry?
No.

What's the worst thing someone's done to make you mad?
Being inconsiderate with work. Repeatedly.

JOY

How often are you happy?
About 80-90% of the time.

What makes you happy?
Friends. Family.

What do you do when you're happy?
I always have a smile on my face. I laugh wholeheartedly. I tell jokes. I hug people.

Ever been so happy you were dying to tell everyone?
Yes.

Ever been so happy you cried?
Yes!

Do you smile a lot?
I guess. Hindi naman ako palasimangot na tao.

Kiss people a lot?
No. Just the people closest to me.

Who really makes you happy?
Secret. Charos!

Do you like doing things for people when you're happy?
Mas magaan magtrabaho at magsilbi sa ibang tao kapag masaya ka. Yun lang.

FEAR

What do you do when you're scared?
It depends on what I'm scared of... but I usually just escape.

What scares you?
Sa kababawan, I'm scared of big stray dogs fighting on the streets. I'm scared of big trucks.
Sa ibang aspeto, I'm scared of telling THAT someone that I'm falling for him. I'm scared of not finding the one God created for me. I'm scared of failure. I'm scared of not being able to finish what I want to do in my lifetime.

Do you like scaring people?
I don't do that.

How often do you panic?
When I was still in Wazzup, my panic mode switch got worn off.

What's the one thing that scared you more than anything else EVER?
Anything that concerns death. I get paranoid when people close to me die one after the other.

Do rollercoasters scare you?
No. Ang babaw nun, sobra!

Ay... tingnan niyo oh!

2005-03-11T18:52:00.000+08:00

Tama ba naman yan? Ang perfect ko naman ata... Harharhar!

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	delicious
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	amazing
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	eternal

Quiz created with MemeGen!

The Makati (Flyover) Scandal

2005-03-11T17:21:00.000+08:00

This has got to be one of the funniest moments in my life!

It's not uncommon for me to call up my bestfriend Macri at any time of the day just to tell her that we have adobo at home, especially if Tita Taba was the one who cooked it. Sometimes I just tell her to come to the house and eat along with us, and sometimes if she's not allowed to leave the house I just make "inggit" and tell her how delicious the adobo is.

It's also not uncommon for my cousin Pearl and I to fetch Macri from her house in Vito Cruz (READ: we live in Guadalupe, Makati... around 20 minutes ride without traffic) just to get her to jam with us. After a long night, we drop her off her house also, because her father is a bit strict and wouldn't allow her to go home without a companion.

Last night was uncommon, though. Michael spent time here at home because I tried (READ: tried) to interview him for his website. My mom, who is always hospitable, offered to cook dinner for us even if we were already full because of the family-sized Yellow Cab Pizza that Mike had delivered for our merienda.

After the interview I did with Mike, he excused himself to go to Rockwell and promised he'd be back for dinner. That's when Tita Taba came and rushed to the kitchen to cook adobo.

Once the adobo was done, I called Macri at home, told her we had Tita's special adobo, and that she should come over and jam. Oh, and yeah... I also told her that Mike's gonna have dinner with us too... which was kind of the bigger reason why she got so excited to come over. However, we had one task to do... fetch Macri at home or else she wouldn't be allowed to leave.

At about the same time, Mike texted that he was on his way back to our house, so Pearl and I waited for him outside so we could immediately ride a cab and go to Macri's house. Mike came, and we hailed a cab to Vito Cruz. And then, the adventure began...

The taxi meter read 50.00, and we were smoothly coasting through the road when suddenly, the ride felt overly bumpy. I asked the driver what the problem was, and he said he had a flat tire. And guess where we were exactly when the flat tire problem emerged. (Read title, please.)

Yes, we were on top of the Makati Flyover going to Buendia!

We had no choice but to pay the driver 50 bucks, get down from the cab and WALK our way down the flyover since no driver would be insane enough to stop and give us a lift. I honestly could not believe that it could happen... and we were all laughing in disbelief as we walked down the flyover. Mike was even so amused that he took a video of the whole thing using his cellphone... hence, the Makati Flyover Scandal was born.

We were lucky enough to have survived that adventure... believe me, it was scary having to walk down that flyover with all the cars and trucks speeding past you, and it was also very chilly last night so by the time we got home, we were all freezing!

Haaayyyy, grabe. I will not forget that adventure for the rest of my life. Mike... pengeng kopya ng video! Baka kumalat sa Quiapo yan, ha?

Dramahan na naman!!!

2005-03-10T00:10:00.000+08:00

Tara, I hope I could tell, command and beg myself not to cry anymore. But lucky for you, you're able to move on na.

I don't really consider myself lucky yet just because I'm trying to move on. Take note of the word: TRYING. Mahirap kasi talagang mag-move on at kalimutan yung tunay na nararamdaman, diba? Yung maliit na paper cut nga lang<, it will take days for you to forget its stinging feeling... paano pa kaya yung sugat sa puso. Cheesy, I know... pero totoo, diba?

Basta... sabi mo nga sa text kanina... paunahan na lang tayo. Kung sino'ng unang maka-move on, eh di tulungan na lang yung isa. Pero alam mo, feeling ko mauuna ako dahil mas mababaw ang tama ko kumpara sa iyo. Basta... tulungan tayo.

As for me, I had given that someone whom I truly love, the license to hurt me. And I'm happy that you are now ok considering that the last time we saw each other, we were consoling each one of our friends in the wake and the last time we talked on the phone, I was devastated and crying.

I think, Wella... when you begin to love someone, kahit hindi romantically, you're giving that someone the license to hurt you. Kasi isipin mo... kung mahal mo ang kapatid mo, pero binabarubal ka niya lagi or nagpapasaway siya, kahit paano nasasaktan ka. Kung mahal mo ang mommy mo, tapos you see her crying one day, siyempre masasaktan ka rin. Kung mahal mo ang kaibigan mo, tapos nasaktan siya ng ex-boyfriend niya, nasasaktan ka rin, diba?

I think love begets pain. And I think that's just right. Ang masokista ko, noh? Pero sa tingin ko talaga tama lang na masaktan tayo habang nagmamahal. Kasi kung hindi tayo nasasaktan habang nagmamahal, we're not going to be strong enough to fight for the ones we love.

Truly we should face each day with a smile, and one of the reasons that will make us smile is our friends. Love you Tara, thanks for being a friend to me and for bearing with me during those times that I'm in my lowest. Hope to see you again.

Love you rin, Wella. Isa ka sa mga matiyaga sa akin kaya saludo ako sa tatag mo. Huwag kang mag-alala, sabi ni God, hindi pa itong mga taong ito ang ginawa niya nang pagkatiyaga-tiyaga para sa atin. Bigay lang NIYA ang mga taong ito para tulungan tayong maging mas mabubuting tao, turuan tayo kung paano magmahal, at bigyan tayo ng lakas para pagalingin at paghilumin ang mga sugat natin.

When I was in fourth year HighSchool, our Literature teacher told us this: "Each of us are angels with only one wing. We need each other to be able to fly."

In the same manner, each person who stepped miraculously into our lives and made us whole will leave us too, in time, so that we could fly to other beautiful places. They just winged us over to where we are now, and as soon as their flight with us is over, aalis rin sila. Oras na iyon para maging kapares na pakpak naman sila ng ibang tao, at tayo rin, oras na rin nating maging kapares na pakpak ng iba.

Tulad natin... magkakasama tayo ngayon. We are winging each other to higher grounds, but sooner or later, magkakahiwalay rin tayo. Maybe not physically, but we will. Pero hindi ibig sabihin nun na wala tayong naidulot na magagandang alaala sa isa't isa.

Smile lang, Wella. This too, like all other things, shall pass. Love you uli!

Can you keep up?

2005-03-09T10:50:00.000+08:00

A gamut of emotions struck me just last week, and I wasn't quite sure how to tell all about them in one coherent blog entry. So here I am again, in my ranting mood, trying to analyze the things that I've been through in the week that was. Excuse me while I whine...

Love me, that's all I ask of you

I have yet to see Phantom of the Opera, but if there is just one thing that will motivate me to do so, it would have to be the song, "All I Ask of You." Sadly, there is not a thing I could say to support or degrade the film. You have to watch it and see for yourself if its worth your 120 bucks.

So why the heading? Well...

Yesterday night I was watching MYX channel (Mellow MYX, to be exact), and they played the music video of this song. It gave me the goosebumps. THe song didn't even have to have a music video to be that powerful. The words alone said it all: "Love me, that's all I ask of you."

Naks. Parang ang dali naman nun sabihin. Pero sa totoong buhay, nagkagalos-galos ka na, sumakit na ang ulo mo, dumugo na ang ilong mo't lahat, hindi mo pa rin masabi-sabi ang mga linyang iyan sa pinakamamahal mo.

Why is it so freaking hard to say it to the one you love?

Which brings me to the words of another (more jologs, if you may...) song I've been hearing since I've found myself addicted to Stairway To Heaven.

"Mahal kita, mahal mo ba ako? Hanggang pangarap na lang ba ito? Kaya kong gawin, ngunit di kayang sabihin... ang pag-ibig ko sana'y mapansin."

I guess because loving in silence has its benefits. You can see each other every now and then. You can casually talk on the phone without having to worry about what to say. You can hold his hand or his arms when you're crossing the street. You can kiss him on the cheek at the end of the day. You can show him your utmost concern and tell him that you are his friend, and that you will be there for him always. You can do all these things, and you never have to worry that he'll reject you, or feel ilang towards you.

However, loving in silence also has its flaws. Flaws that you wish weren't there, so you can continue loving until it hurts no more.

License to Kill

They say when you tell someone you love him, you give them the license to hurt you. And why not? You do expose yourself to harm, just like running unarmed on a warpath. You tell him you love him, and he can say "I'm sorry." Sorry for what, you ask? "Sorry I can't/don't love you the way you love me." There you go... he just used the license you gave him to hurt you.

And that's not all. He can choose not to say anything, and then you end up talking less and less... and then you don't speak to each other at all, much less look at each other.

I think about these things and convince myself that it is not advisable to give someone a license to hurt you, and yet I consider the license to hurt better than the license to kill. The license to kill is another invisible license that you give off to someone when you love him in silence and continue to do so even when you are the closest of friends.

Why is it a license to kill? Well...

You love him in silence, right? So you don't have the right to get jealous when he talks lovey-dovey to someone on the phone. You don't have the right to get mad if he doesn't text you or call you. You don't have the right to demand ANYTHING from him. You cannot hold him in your arms, cradle him and kiss him tenderly even if you wanted to just comfort him and tell him that things are going to be alright. You cannot show him just how much you love him... you control yourself too much, keep all the feelings inside.

And then what? And then you can't breathe.

That's when you start dying. And you can't blame him for using his license to kill you, because he is not even aware that he's using it in the first place.

Goodbye doesn't mean forever

Last February 26, at 6pm, Michael's mom Lourdes passed away because of an accident she'd met five days before. On the 28th, my friends (Rocky, Wella, Doris, Joemarie, Mitzi and Mhel) and I went to her wake to pay her our last respects.

It was sad (for me) to think that I never had the chance to reach out and talk to Mike's mom because it was always him I got to hang around with. I knew that she was a sweet and nice woman (I heard from my friends) who was as warm and accommodating as her son. Looking back, I had hoped to meet her on Mike's launching, which was on the 21st, but unfortunately, circumstances had not allowed that to happen.

As it is with most wakes that I had been to, the air was full of grief and masked laughter. It was Mike who told us not to be sad and quiet, so we joked around with him and told stories. Later in the evening, it was also him who made us cry.

He'd let us read a small notebook that his mom kept. It was still new, and the entries were still fresh; the last dated February 17, 2005. There, Mommy Lourdes wrote down her dreams, her prayers, and the things she'd wanted to do. We were smiling while reading the parts where she said she wanted to buy a house in Tagaytay, a new car, start a new business come March... but we started crying when we went over the entry that said she wants to buy a condo unit for Mike in Quezon City.

Mike was the first one to shed tears, and it was heartbreaking for us to see him like that, as we were used to him being the one making us all laugh. After that scene, I didn't talk as much as I did earlier in the night, and I spent our whole lamay hours spacing out, and trying to make the others laugh.

There is truly nothing more painful than losing a loved one. But I think in this experience I learned that what's more painful is not being able to get to know and feel the presence of that someone in your life even before he or she passed away. What's sad is that you missed being in the care of that person, you missed little learning moments with that person, and you missed just being with that person who could've made a little more difference in your life.

To Mommy Lourdes, I thank you for waking me up in my reverie, jolting me out of my carefree life and teaching me to pray hard for a miracle. The miracle may not have been given to us in the manner that we have expected it to be, but I feel that it would be bigger, brighter and much more special than what we've prayed for. Goodbye doesn't mean forever, says David Gates, and I believe so.

She's always a woman to me

I never really felt like I'm a woman. I've always been a little girl... or a little boy... or a little gay. :) But since I'm already 22 years old, and I'm biologically female (sige na naman, maniwala na kayo!) I guess I'm qualified to be called one.

So... to all of the women out there reading my blog, Happy Women's Day to all of you! And to all the guys... you better be treating women right or else...

And to one of the most beautiful women I know, Mommy... Happy Women's Day!!! I love you!

Don't wanna cry no more

Finally... after a month of seemingly endless sleepless and tearful nights, I stopped crying. My attendance to Mommy Lourdes' wake helped out a lot, I must admit, but I also realized that nothing can be brought back by the tears we shed.

By saying this, I do not mean that we should never cry. I personally advise crying to those who feel like it. It's therapeutic and its beautiful. And sometimes when you look back, its also funny remembering how you cried over something or someone. But now I think my tears are not going to be of exceptional use especially because I'm trying to rest and gain all of my energy back before I get another job.

I think it is better now to wake up and face each day with a smile, and scare off all the negative vibes that the world is throwing at us. Who knows... with each smile we give, there might be someone there whose tears we're going to wipe away. ;)

ENOUGH PLEASE!!!

2005-02-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

My lachrynal glands have had it. If it had the chance to speak, it would scream to me, "ENOUGH, PLEASE!"

Since the first week of February, I have inexplicably developed a habit of crying at the minutest of things. At first it was because of my resignation from my job, the thought of leaving my close friends at work, and letting go of the job that I had dreamt of since High School. Yet, close to the week that I was officially leaving, the tears meant a different thing altogether.

February 14, I told Sheiden I'd give this foolish "falling in love" sequence in my life a stop. Even if, for me, it was worth every single tear, I decided it would be destructive for me and my relationship with the guy if I continued to freefall from heights I cannot even begin to imagine. It was difficult to decide so, because I'd been freefalling for months now, and pulling the emergency cord for the parachute seemed a little too late.

Well it was. I didn't know that just as I had set the parachute off, I would stumble and roll over and over on the ground. Its just like falling, only there's dirt on your back and bruises on your body afterwards. Its quite a bit more painful... because if I had freefallen till the very end I would've felt the excruciating pain for a little while and then die. But now, I'm feeling all the bruises and broken bones... every little one of them.

And the most painful fact of it all is it will take me a while to recover. Meanwhile, I'll have to endure all the little aches, until they become numb.

Enough of love. Enough of falling.

February 21, my birthday. Michael called and told me his mother got involved in an accident, and was seriously hurt. And I thought NOTHING would've ever ruined that day for me. Not that I blame Michael and the bad news for my mood swings that day, but ever since Monday my tears just can't help from falling again.

It's already the 26th, and for five days Michael's mom is in the ICU. All of us, his family, friends, fans, and co-workers are praying for his mom's recovery... which, to us, is taking a bit too long. (I'm sorry, God... I'm being impatient. Please understand. This doesn't mean I do not believe in you, though.)

If only I could turn back time, rearrange the stars... if only I could have it my way... I wouldn't have let this happen. I mean... it was so unfair. Michael should've been enjoying that day, because it was the official launch of his first album, but he couldn't because of the freak accident that happened. Last night I couldn't help but tell God that I wish it was me instead of his mom. He needed his mom more in that launch.

A lot of crazy ideas are swirling inside my head right now that I cannot even grasp each and every one. But if only I could shield Michael of all the pain he's feeling right now, I would, even for just one day. I just miss seeing him smile. For all the smiles he's caused me, I would do anything to give them back one by one. That's how special he is to me.

It's been 26 days... ENOUGH, PLEASE!

A handful of questions...

2005-02-25T00:56:00.000+08:00

Does loving really equate to getting hurt? All the time?

Is it reasonable to stay in love with someone we know is not going to love us the same way we do?

Why do we fall for the wrong people?

Is there really someone out there whom God created solely for us? Solely to love us and make us happy for the rest of our lives?

Why is letting go so difficult?

Do wishes really come true?

Why is it that when we decide to forget someone, circumstances push you to that same person?

Why is it so difficult to love someone... and when you finally learn how to, you'd have to learn how to forget him all at once?

Shyet ka talaga, Chever. I thought I already knew how to take Cupid's arrow out of my heart... but you made him shoot another one through it. I hate you. And I love you.

I hate my birthday...

2005-02-24T11:36:00.000+08:00

Don't ask why. I just do.

And I wish I didn't have a birthday... if it would mean that the unfortunate things that happened that day would not happen.

This is the saddest birthday I've had so far. And last year's was not very good either.

I'm getting too old for birthdays, I guess.

Happy Birthday, Mommy!!!

2005-02-18T10:52:00.000+08:00

It's my mom's birthday today... so happy happy birthday, Mommy!!! Mwah, mwah, mwah! I love you!!!

O ayan... siyempre pinaiiyak ako ni Mommy diyan. Kainez!

What Valentine's Day?

2005-02-15T11:06:00.000+08:00

How did you spend your Valentine's Day?

I spent my whole day at work, since it's a normal Monday morning (for me, at least). I started by cramming a request letter for an appointment for interview. That one was for a Reklamador shoot that was going to happen that same afternoon. I scanned the newspapers for juicy showbiz news (sabi ko sa inyo, JOLOGS talaga ako eh...), listened to Beerhouse Music, and followed-up on my request.

At around 1:40pm, Eric and I went to the cafeteria for lunch and small chika. I was kinda happy because my request for interview was approved even before 2:00pm. We even got two yemas each, wrapped in red cellophane, as the cafeteria's free Valentine treat. How sweet. (I gave my yemas to our PA Mark, and to our trainee PA Mike. Busog na kasi ako.)

At 3:00pm, we pulled-out of ABS to fetch Archie in his condo for our shoot. The heat inside Kuya Hector's FX made me really sleepy, that by the time Archie went inside the vehicle, I almost didn't notice. We immediately drove to the Land Transportation Office in East Avenue and did an interview there. The people were very nice and congenial, we didn't have any trouble working there. (Miss Daisy Jacobo and her staff, thank you very much!)

We finished shooting at around 5:00pm, with Archie stuffing his face with one big binangkal (sweet bread with sesame seeds we bought in front of LTO). Tired but relieved we pulled off a Reklamador episode, we headed for homebase.

As soon as I reached ABS, I headed to the TV production office and rehearsed the Tonioke that was scheduled for that night. Sheiden came in and gave me a Valentine gift of Ferrerro Rocher chocolates and a sweet note she wrote while inside the ELJ 2nd floor CR (how sweet!!!). While munching away on the chocolates, she asked me to play a cd on our cd player and to directly play Track 06.

Eh kamusta naman yon? Track 06 played like this... "I can't make you love me if you don't..."

My eyes went misty. And tears started streaming when Sheiden pressed me to play Track 08. "Just take my heart when you go... I don't have the need for it anymore..."

Damn. I even forgot the time! It was already nearing 6:30 when I woke up from my insane reverie, and Sheiden and I scampered to the set. I said hello to our hosts, told Toni we had Tonioke, and rehearsed the song inside the sound booth sans Toni who was still busy with her hair.

I greeted Drew a Happy Valentine's, joked around in the set and waited for Toni to come so we can rehearse the song. Ayun, awa ng Diyos, hindi siya nakalabas agad! And the moment the Studio 23 station ID came in, Toni was running to the set, panicking and apologizing for being "late." Since Toni and I didn't get to rehearse the song, we were both pressured to rehearse bit by bit everytime a commercial gap comes in. Luckily, Toni knows how to sing Something Stupid, so we didn't have much of a problem.

7:27pm, Toni and I pulled off Tonioke, and we both breathed a sigh of relief. Whew. That was close.

After the live airing, I was really feeling sleepy and hungry, so we decided to eat at MIP. I was with Sheiden, Allan, Chester, Mike, Flowell and Niño. We would've invited JC to have dinner with us, but he was nowhere to be found.

Sarap ng food! Achieve!

I went home before 9:37pm, at which time the last MRT train will coast through Quezon Avenue station. My mom was even surprised I was home at around 10:00pm when I usually go home at 1:00am Tuesdays. :)

What did I do when I got home? I SLEPT MY HEAD OFF! This is why I'm only posting my Valentine's Day "escapades" just now. Sarap kasi matulog eh. Hehehe.

So there. That was how I spent my Valentine's Day. Pretty uneventful, huh? Well... that's why I wore black.

...

2005-02-12T01:54:00.000+08:00

To the person who brought me all this joy, sadness and beauty... all in one warm package. I'm letting you go... but this doesn't mean that I do not love you anymore. I shall love you from afar, even when you are right beside me. I shall love you in silence, because it is the only way I freely can.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day...

Please don't ask me
John Farnham

Please don't ask me
what am I thinking
it's about you...

And please don't ask me
I never can see you
what can I do?

My first impulse
is to run to your side
My heart's not free
and so I must hide
Please don't ask me
why I'm so in love with you...

I toss and turn
can't sleep at night
it's worrying me...

I go to bed
turn out the lights
but your face I see

It only hurts
the more I pretend
that we could ever
be more than friends
Please don't ask me
why I'm still in love with you...

You could easily make me happy
that I know
and I'll try my best
to never tell you so...

I will sing to you my love song
and pretend
and I'll keep this secret
right down to the end...

Please don't ask me
why I'm not talking
I just can't explain

And please don't ask me
why I go walking
out in the rain

I could not live
the lie it would take
to have you near
would be a mistake
Please don't ask me
why I'm so in love with you...
No please don't ask me...

For Wella

2005-02-12T01:37:00.000+08:00

I just wanna answer this posted comment... Wella, salamat.

Haaay si Chever!!!

Yaan mo na, at least napasaya ka nya di ba? We will never know kung ano pang puwedeng mangyari basta I respect you for being true to yourself at in-accept mo na may iba na siya.

Oo naman. Sobrang napasaya niya talaga ako. Isang taon mahigit ko rin siyang inisip-isip. Parang sinadya nga ng panahon na maging ganito kami ka-close ngayon... samantalang noon hanggang tingin lang ako. Sa bawat text, tawag, get-together at kalokohan namin, napapawi niya lahat ng lumbay at inis ng buhay ko. To the point na siya ang naging lakas ko these past few months nung "bumabagyo" ang buhay-trabaho ko.

And its also true na we will never know what could still happen. Pero kasi ang hirap nang umasa. Basta ako, okay na ako ngayon. Nasasaktan nang slight pero kayang tiisin at itago. Alam mo naman ako, Best Actress pagdating diyan. Darating din siguro yung panahon na hindi na ako masasaktan... at sa ngayon, yun ang ginagawan ko ng paraan.

Natawa o nalungkot (anlabo ko di ba?) ako kasi nagkasabay pa tayo ng pag let go sa mga taong mahal natin. Ako din eh, I decided last night lang na to move on and start my own life without Raymond.

9 months din akong umasa na magkakabalikan kami pero mahirap na ring ibalik sa dati kumbaga me lamat na.

Inggit nga ako sa iyo kahit papaano kasi for a long while naramdaman mong may nagre-reciprocate ng pagmamahal mo. Ako, lahat ng storya ko, unrequited. Puro one-way. Umaasa lang lagi na mapansin... maalala. Pero I guess mas mahirap mag-let go kapag ganun... kapag naramdaman mong minahal ka niya, tapos biglang wala na.

Kaya natin to'! Kaya nga sabi ko sa yo kagabi na-miss kitang bigla. Remember ung cryola scene ko sa Zirkoh? Syet!

Yeah. I remember. Iniisip ko rin siya nun habang kuma-cryola ka sa harapan ni Michael at naming mga Mikesterz... hahaha! Jowk! Basta... naisip ko rin siya bigla nung time na yun. Kailan ba hindi, diba?

Ingat ka lagi. Why am i sharing my sentiments? For you to know na di lang ikaw ang nag-iisang nabigo sa larangan ng pag-ibig at masuwerte ka pa rin kasi nandiyan pa rin siya sa tabi mo at malaya kang mahalin pa rin siya.

Oo... malaya akong mahalin siya, pero palihim nga lang. Pero gaya nga ng sabi ko sa last post ko, SIGE NA NGA... kung ano ang meron kaming dalawa, I'll just cherish it while it lasts. Magmahal nang magmahal... dahil hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ito magtatagal.

Wella... Happy Valentine's day... :)

Sige na nga...

2005-02-11T02:12:00.000+08:00

Labag man sa loob ko, siguro tama na ring mag-desisyon ako na kalimutan itong nararamdaman ko kay Chever (nickname namin sa taong nagpasaya sa akin nang mahigit siyam na buwan). Masyado na kasing nagiging komplikado ang mga bagay-bagay. Hindi magiging maganda ang mangyayari kung itutuloy ko pa 'tong kalokohang 'to.

Eh ano nga naman ba ang mapapala ko kung itutuloy ko pa 'to? Masasaktan lang naman ako. Yun lang naman.

Masaya kung sa masaya pag kasama ko siya. Pero wanepz naman sa sakit kapag alam mo na... may nangyayaring hindi ko inaasahan.

Tulad ng?

Tulad ng malaman na may mahal na pala siyang iba. Yun bang taong wala akong kalaban-laban... yung lalausin talaga ako nang todo. Yung walang ka-kuwestiyon-kuwestiyon na pag tinanong mo siya kung sino ang pipiliin: ako o yung karibal ko, walang kamukat-mukat niyang sasabihing... YUNG KARIBAL KO.

Ang bigat pa nga nung phrase na YUNG KARIBAL KO eh. Kasi... hindi ko naman talaga siya karibal... sa tingin ni Chever. Kasi sa tingin ni Chever, magkaibigan lang kami. Simple. Walang komplikasyon.

Eh si tangang ako... gumawa ng komplikasyon. Great! Stretcher nga! Samahan niyo na rin ng isang tangke ng oxygen! Hindi ako makahinga, puta!

Kaya ngayon, sige na nga... titigilan ko na. Bibitaw na ako bago lalong maging komplikado ang lahat. Ang labo ko noh? Kasasabi ko lang na magho-hold on ako, tapos ngayon bibitaw na ako. Ang fickle minded ko talaga. Wag kayong magugulat kung mag-post ako sa susunod, at sasabihin kong mahal ko na naman siya. Ganyan ako katanga.

Ang lungkot ng pagkatanga ko. Imbis na wala akong problema sa Valentine's Day... eto't ginagawan ko ng komplikasyon ang buhay ko. Marami pa namang namamatay sa komplikasyon.

Ako kaya?

Gago kasi 'tong si Chever. Sumobra na nga sa guwapo, gising na gising pa nung nagsabog si Lord ng kabaitan. Haaayyy.

Happy Valentine's Day na lang sa akin...

Shameless plugs and sentiments...

2005-02-03T11:24:00.000+08:00

Shameless plugging...

... in three, two, one. (insert bleeping sound here)

Michael Cruz' first album is already out in the markets! Under Star Records, Solo 2 gives birth to three new recording artists with different musical styles and genres. It features balladeer Johann Escañan, rocker Michael Cruz, and rapper R2D. Buy now!

The country's first dance-reality TV show is breaking ground this Saturday! Join JC Cuadrado, Archie Alemania, Bianca Gonzales, Marvin Agustin and Vanessa del Bianco as they start the search for the ultimate dance idol in Star Dance! Saturday, February 5... only at ABS-CBN 2!

Special thanks to the Wazzup News Team...

... to my "Beb," for making me cry last night because of her text habang hindi pa man nagsisimula yung pelikulang pinanonood namin. Touched ako sa iyo. Maraming salamat for always being my sweet "Beb." Kung lalaki lang ako, liligawan kita, pasasagutin at hindi paiiyakin. Promise yan. (Eh yung hindi ako lalaki?) Basta... what I mean to say is, you're very special to me. Thanks for the friendship. Dehins ko makakalimutan yun. Hoy ha... may utang ka pang kuwento sa akin.

... to my "Papa" Eric, for always understanding, and for always making me laugh. And also for calling me your "Mama." Hahaha! Never kong na-imagine na tatawagin mo akong "Mama" ever in my life! Salamat sa fun moments natin habang nagshu-shoot ng Reklamador... at sa "boywatching" moments nating... at sa hindi mo pagpatay sa isang pangarap ko na alam nating medyo malayong mangyari. Salamat, salamat... isa ka sa mga mami-miss ko talaga.

... to Red, who found time pala to visit my blog. Thanks, Red for always believing. You give me the much needed push and tuktok sa ulo kapag pinanghihinaan na ako ng loob pagdating kay Chever. Dahil sobrang naniniwala ka, naniniwala na rin ako. Ganun kalakas mag-rub off ang energy mo sa akin. Salamat for being a great friend and confidante. Hindi kita makakalimutan... sobra.

... to Ate Shey, for believing in me and pushing me to the limits when needed. Isa ka dun sa mga taong na-enjoy kong makatrabaho, from Reklamador to Marinara (na ayaw ko nang maalala ever!). Salamat sa napakalaking tiwala mo sa akin, at humihingi ako ng paumanhin para sa mga oras na binigo kita.

... to Chaps, for bringing me into the world of TV production. Grabe, Chaps... sa Plaridel, ikaw ang angel ko na gumabay sa akin, nagturo sa akin ng ins and outs. Pati sa ABS, ikaw rin. Sa tingin mo, we're meant to be? (Meant to be what?) Friends? Hehehe... basta Chaps... kung saan ka masaya, go rin ako. Dahil alam kong ganun ka rin sa akin. I will never find another Chaps ever again, so I'm thankful that I found you in this lifetime. Love you, Chaps!

... to Allan, my "sis" sa kabaklaan... salamat sa mga leksyon ng ka-imoralan na itinuro mo sa akin. Hahaha! Basta... thanks for the times you covered up for me, did my job for me pag may sakit ako (na walang reklamo), and made me laugh just because of the unique way you express yourself. Dalangin kong maging maligaya na ang puso mo.

... to Mark for making me smile whenever he smiles. Sa sobrang ngarag mo, sobrang naa-appreciate ko ang paminsan-minsang below the belt comments mo sa akin at sa ibang tao... sabay tawa nang malupit. Thanks for introducing me to Mister Kabab. Ang sarap!

... to Archie for being so easy to work with, for making me laugh, for teaching me dance steps, for understanding... Chie, sobrang mami-miss kita. Alam mo yan. Love kita eh...

... to JC for being my first "anak" in the television world. I will forever be proud of you, and honored that I became an instrument in your success as a TV personality. Basta, you always take care of yourself... alam mo na, pag wala na ang "Mammi" mo. Just remember what I told you the night I cried in front of you... I will always be here for you, ma-link man tayo sa isa't isa o hindi. (Si Kuya Vhong kasi.)

Andami ko pa palang pasasalamatan... sa susunod ko nang post. Pagod na 'ko. Hehehe.

A Very Long Engagement

2005-02-02T22:44:00.000+08:00

In the tradition of Amelie, Jean Pierre Jeunet and Audrey Tautou brings us A Very Long Engagement, a story about hope, faith and enduring love.

Jaja (Bolivar) gave me two tickets to the premiere night of this film last night at Rockwell. Hindi ko pa alam kung sino ang isasama kong manood ng pelikula dahil lahat ng mga kasama ko sa opisina ay may kanya-kanyang gagawin. And then I remembered that Michael and I have something to talk about, pero hindi natuloy yung meeting namin nung weekend, kaya siya na lang ang niyaya ko. Luckily, free naman ang sked niya.

So ayun, to make the long story short, we watched A Very Long Engagement, habang lumalafez ng cheese and butter popcorn (Mike, sobrang na-confuse talaga ako sa nakakalurkang flavors na yan!), Snickers at softdrinks, and once again I was deeply moved by the invisible yet unnerving power of love.

Isipin mo... fiance mo, nagpunta sa giyera. The fact that a person you love is going away is already unbearable, what more if you know for a fact that there is a 90% chance that that person will never come back alive? Hindi ba, nakakabaliw?

And what more if after several years, you receive word from the army that your fiance is already dead? Sentenced by the President to be executed for self-mutilation? At alam mong kaya niya sinaktan at in-injure ang sarili niya ay dahil gusto niya nang umuwi sa iyo, to be safe in your arms again?

This is basically the premise of A Very Long Engagement. As opposed to Amelie, this is a very dark and heavy movie. Yung tipong mabigat sa dibdib na parang ayaw mo nang panoorin uli. Hindi sa pangit ang pagkakagawa, in fact, it was very artistically and tastefully done. Several of the scenes were very picturesque. Pero sa sobrang bigat ng mga eksena, parang hindi mo na kakayaning manood uli. Ako, sa totoo lang, kung uulitin ko panoorin yun, baka mamatay ako sa heart attack.

A Very Long Engagement re-taught me one thing I already know, but am now losing my grip on: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Shet.

Sobrang confused na naman ako sa mga pangyayari sa buhay ko... at lalo pa itong ginulo ng pelikulang ito. Tinuruan na naman ako ng pelikulang ito sa huwag bumitaw, huwag mawalan ng pag-asa, at magmahal lang nang magmahal. Kahit nasasaktan na, sige pa rin. Kahit duguan na, sige pa rin. Basta, magmahal ka lang nang magmahal hanggang sa wala ka nang maramdaman. Kasi hindi mo namamalayan, yung minamahal mo, kailangan ka rin pala... mahal ka rin pala. Hindi man sa paraang gusto mo, pero at least, mahal ka niya hindi ba?

Kanina, nag-usap kami ng "Beb" ko tungkol sa mga nangyayari sa buhay-buhay namin. Pinaiyak niya na naman ako dahil sa mga salita niya. Lintek talaga... now I have to count how many days I DON'T cry. Ito lang ang nasabi niya sa akin:

"Alam ko hindi niya kasalanang magmahal ng iba, pero sana hindi ka niya sinasaktan."

Alam ko, nasaktan ako ng taong mahal ko. Pero hindi niya sinasadya. Hindi niya sinasadya dahil hindi naman niya alam. Tsaka... ano bang pakialam ko kung may nagpapasaya sa kanyang iba? Its not like I can dictate which people should make him happy and who should not. Nagkataon lang na hindi ako yung nagpapasaya sa kanya... pero kung alam lang niya, siya ang ligaya ng buhay ko ngayon (YAAAAKKK! Ang keso!).

A Very Long Engagement told me to hold on. To hold on and hope for the best. To think of "ifs" that could possibly happen. Because "ifs" are what will help us endure. Masokista na kung masokista, pero ayoko pang bumitiw dito. Hindi pa siguro.

Pebrero na naman!

2005-02-01T01:38:00.000+08:00

'Day! Pebrero na!

Grabe... ang bilis ng panahon. Parang kailan lang, noong Pebrero ng nakaraang taon, wala akong problemang puso. Ngayon, meron na.

Parang kailan lang din, noong Pebrero ng nakaraang taon, wala akong trabaho. Ngayon, pagod na pagod na ako sa katatrabaho.

Haaayyy... at tatanda na naman ako ng isang taon dalawampung araw mula ngayon. Dalawampu't dalawang taong gulang na ako, at single pa rin simula nung ipinanganak ako. Alam kong marami ring babae ang tulad ko, pero siyempre hindi ko naman maiiwasang magtanong paminsan-minsan. Bakit nga ba talaga wala pa akong boyfriend, jowa, syota, boylet, o kung anuman ang tawag nila doon? Ganun ba talaga ako ka-chaka?

Okay... ayoko nang i-dissect pa ang isyung yan. Masakit na nga ang ulo ko sa trabaho, dadagdagan ko pa nang isang isyung wala masyadong kuwenta kumpara sa iba. Lintek talaga 'tong Pebrero oo! Binabaltic na naman ako!

Birthday wish ko --- sana paggising ko sa birthday ko, o kahit hindi sa paggising... basta sa araw ng birthday ko, makasama ko yung taong sobrang nagpapasaya sa akin at patuloy na nagpapalakas ng loob ko lalo na ngayong medyo emosyonal ako sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko. Sana makasama ko siya sa birthday ko, kalabisan na kung hihilingin ko pang kaming dalawa lang sana ang magkasama, dahil may pasok ako sa araw na iyon. Pero makasama ko lang siya... masaya na ako.

Tsaka sana hindi na rin ako iyak nang iyak araw-araw! Grabe, last week pa 'to! Sobrang tinotopak talaga ang lachrynal glands ko at araw-araw akong umiiyak bago pumasok sa trabaho! Ayoko na! Nakakatuyo ng utak, swear!!!

Lintek na Pebrero 'to...

You don't always get what you want...

2005-01-24T16:12:00.000+08:00

... but you can always want what you get.

Natutunan ko 'to simula nung grumaduate ako ng college at magtrabaho ako sa network. Hindi naman ako sobrang spoiled brat para sabihing lahat ng ginusto ko noon, nakuha ko. Its just that mas maraming beses akong nabigo this time na makuha ang gusto ko... kaysa noong nag-aaral pa lang ako.

Akala ko noon, basta maging matiyaga ka sa trabaho, masipag, matulungin, at marunong kang makitungo sa kapwa mo, magiging maayos ang buhay-trabaho mo. Pero nagkamali ako. Masyado akong naging idealistic. Kaya tuloy eto... sobrang na-frustrate ako sa unang trabaho ko.

But from my frustrations came an understanding of things that came into my life. If you can't get what you want, you have to learn to want what you get.

Magulo ba? Ganito kasi yan.

Pangarap ko talagang maging writer. Sa TV, sa pelikula, sa kung saan-saan. Mahilig talaga akong magsulat noon pa. Kaya nung dumating yung chance ko na makapagtrabaho in the hopes of being a writer, wala nang tanong-tanong, sinunggaban ko agad ang trabaho. Kaya lang heto, ganito pa rin ang takbo ng buhay ko. Kung ano ako nung nagsimula ako, almost a year now, ganun pa rin ako ngayon.

Pero kahit na nafu-frustrate ako sa mga nangyari, natuto rin akong magpasalamat sa lahat ng bagay na naibigay sa akin ng trabaho kong ito. I gained new and real friends whom I know are very loyal and trustworthy. I learned a lot of things from my co-workers, technical stuff and people skills na rin. I developed my self-esteem (although I lost it also everytime something bad happens), became more confident, and fell in love.

Ayyy... ang bigat nung last. Come again?

Ayan tayo eh, fell in love na naman. Pero totoo. Kung hindi ako naging bahagi ng programa ko ngayon, hindi ko sana nakilala ang angel ng buhay ko (of the moment, I guess). I didn't get everything that I wanted, but I wanted what I got.

Kumbaga, parang Christmas gift lang yan eh. Or any other gift for that matter. You wanted an iPod, but you got a Purpose Driven Life Book instead. Na-frustrate ka dahil hindi iPod ang nakuha mo, pero nung mabasa mo yug PDL, napakarami mong natutunan. It was still worthwhile reading and learning from the gift given to you.

Kaya ngayon, everytime I get frustrated and things don't go my way, I always wait for the light at the end of the tunnel. It might not be always an easy journey, but it will exercise and test my faith anyway. :)

Wazzup Ka-Blog!

2005-01-24T00:32:00.000+08:00

Hi guys! Just wanna invite you all to our newest official blog, The Wazzup Ka-Blog!

Post comments about the show, ask questions, make your reklamos heard... interact with us and watch out dahil ie-ere namin ang mga pinakamagagandang comments, pinakamakulit na questions, at pinaka-Reklamador na reklamo!!!

So... ano pang hinihintay niyo? Visit na kayo sa blog namin!!!

Wazzup, Wazzup: Extra Strong! Tkss. Tkss.

Quotable Quotes...

2005-01-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

'Di ba ang cheap?

Narinig ko ang mga salitang ito mula sa isang taong pinagtatrabahuan ko. Noong una, parang hindi nag-sink in sa akin yung sinabi niya. Dala na rin siguro ng pagod ng katawan at isip, at sobrang drugs na nainom ko sa buong araw na iyon (isang linggo na akong may sakit), hindi ko ininda ang narinig kong iyon.

Noong madaling araw bago ako natulog, saka bumalik sa akin ang mga salitang iyon. Saka rin ako nasaktan. Kung ano man yung tinawag niyang "cheap," dalawang linggo ko ring pinagtrabahuan iyon. Dalawang linggo akong gumawa ng mga dokumento, kumausap ng mga tao, nambola, namlastik, nangulit at kung anu-ano pa para lang maisara ang mga bagay na dapat.

Tapos hindi niya na-appreciate. Dun ako nalungkot. Nawala na naman ang tiwala ko sa sarili ko. Sumama na naman ang loob ko. Buti na lang, pagbukas ko ng inbox ng cellphone ko nakita ko ang isang message ng kaibigan ko:

Magaling ka. Hindi sapat ang bilib lang ako sa 'yo.

Napangiti ako. Itong taong 'to, simula nung maging kaibigan ko, wala nang ginawa kundi iparamdam sa akin na importante ako. Kahit sa anong paraan, maliit man o malaki. Marunong siyang magpahalaga sa tao, at naa-appreciate niya ang mga maliliit ring bagay na nagagawa ko para sa kanya.

Nagpapasalamat ako sa kanya dahil maraming beses niya na akong sinagip sa mga malulungkot at nakakapanghinang mga sandali. Parang kapag malungkot na malungkot ako naririnig niya ang mga iyak ko at bigla na lang siyang magpaparamdam, tatawag, magte-text, o magpapakita sa akin. Anghel ko na ito eh.

Ganyan siya. Kaya ako, pinahahalagahan ko siya. Siya yung tipong tao na nandiyan para ipaalala sa akin na hindi ako "failure" kahit minsan kumbinsido na ako sa sarili ko na ganun nga ako. Napakasuwerte ko dahil naging kaibigan ko 'to.

Iuuwi na namin 'to!

Naloka naman ako nang marinig ko 'tong mga salitang ito mula sa isang miyembro ng dance group na sobrang iniidolo ko hanggang ngayon. Sumayaw sila kahapon para sa show namin, at ako ang assigned na mag-alaga sa kanila. Naging mabait naman sila at madaling alagaan, kaya wala akong naging problema.

Nung pauwi na, nagpasalamat ako sa kanila at nagsabing sana hindi nila ako isnabin pag nagkita kami uli sa ABS. Kinamayan ko sila isa-isa. Eh itong si Boy Makulit, hinatak ako pagkatapos akong i-shake hands. Sinabayan pa siya ng isa pa nila miyembro.

Kaya ayun! Nakaladkad ako nung dalawang loko-lokong cute na yun sa Market Market! At sabi pa sa Mommy ko (na nandun din sa area), "Iuuwi na namin 'to!" Haaayyy... wish ko lang! Hahaha!

Life is so short

2005-01-18T10:28:00.000+08:00

Life is so short. It's true.

That is why we have to live each day as if it were our last. Tell our family, friends and loved ones how much they mean to us. Say "I love you" to the ones who really matter.

Yesterday I learned that I almost lost a dear friend in an accident, and it freaked me out. I was shaking all over, even if I knew he was okay (he was the one who called me and told me everything). The thought of losing him was the farthest thing from my mind, and yesterday it just hit me that he could've just left without saying goodbye. It drove me crazy.

Yesterday too, I've decided to take matters into my own hands. You see, I've fallen for this great, great guy who seems to never tire of making me smile, and I've just been going with the flow (if you know what I mean) when it comes to him. I don't know, I just find myself falling deeper and deeper into him with each and every day. And now... I've decided to tell him.

The consequences are going to be tough, I know, but I will not lose him before I tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me. I still haven't figured out how I'm going to say it, but I will. I will.

Hustle like crazy!!!

2005-01-15T16:17:00.000+08:00

cRaZy FoR You!

Just wanna congratulate my friend/idol Michael Cruz for a superb rendition of Madonna's Crazy for You, which is already enjoying airplay over four radio stations, Love Radio 90.7, iFM 93.9, 101.1 YesFM and WRR 101.9 For Life!

Mike, ang galing... sobra. Parang hindi ikaw. Pataubin na natin ang mga dapat pataubin! Ipakita at iparinig na natin sa kanila kung sino ang dapat mag-angkin ng mga kantang iyan! GO!

hUstLe baBy!

My movie for this season is Stephen Chow's Kung-Fu Hustle! Why, you ask? Because even if the movie cost me a hundred and fifty pesos for entrance and another seventy-five for popcorn and mineral water, I felt that it was all worth it. The cinematography was superb, the story was interesting enough to hold you for around two hours, and the characters are so colorful they're enough to complete a big box of Crayola.

Stephen Chow did a really great job with this movie, even better than his work in Shaolin Soccer. It was an unbelievable one-man show, with him serving as the Executive Producer, Director and Scriptwriter all at the same time. I appreciated his effort in putting more interesting fight scenes (thanks to Fight Choreographer Yuen Woo Ping), because I wouldn't have been that satisfied with the movie if not for those bone cracking kung-fu sequences.

Some of the fight sequences that really amazed me were:

1) the very first major fight scene involving The Axe Gang, Donut, Coolie and Tailor (Tailor was so good! I was blown away by his arm rings... and Donut was great with his bo! Wow talaga!);

2) the fight scene between Donut, Tailor and the hired killers of the Axe Gang (I'll just gush. THIS IS THE SCENE TO WATCH OUT FOR. Beautiful special effects, graceful movements, oh... I cannot even think of how it could've been done in any other way.);

3) the fight scene between Number One killer and the fated lovers ("I didn't know the Lion's Roar can be done with a speaker." - Number One Killer), and;

4) the fight scene between Number One Killer and Stephen Chow's character. (The Buddha Palm Fist was, although fictional and unbelievable, amazingly done. Also, ang ganda ng katawan ni Stephen Chow... diba, Sheiden?!)

Of course, a Stephen Chow movie would not be complete without his brand of humor which is very Pinoy, in my opinion. I will not even begin to enumerate the funny scenes in the movie... there are A LOT. You have to watch it to really appreciate the humor. The only thing I didn't like about it is that Coolie died without a fight. Sayang naman yung abilidad niya, namatay lang siya nang ganun. Sana nagka-fight scene pa siya ng isa para mas cool!

Kudos to Stephen Chow for a job well done. I promise I'm going to buy a copy of this video once it gets released... for maximum enjoyment. Hehehe... watch the movie guys! Hindi kayo magsisisi!

SiNg-aLoNg FeVeR!

We celebrated the birthdays of our hosts Vhong Navarro, JC Cuadrado, Drew Arellano and Toni Gonzaga at IO KTV ABS-CBN last Thursday, January 13. Special thanks to Ms. Rosalie Stacey (IO Branch Manager) and her staff for accommodating us and giving in to our whims. Super thanks for the super fun night of food and songs!

Also, special thanks to Ritz Apple Strudels' Mr. Andrew Que and Ms. Michelle for providing us delicious apple, peach, mango and strawberry strudels! And siyempre, maraming salamat kay Mam Babes for helping me out with stuff! You're heaven-sent, Mam!

biRthDaY gReeTs!

Happy, happy birthday to my "anak" JC Cuadrado!!! This guy has been the sweetest, most guwapo guy ever to come into my life. Too bad he's not my type. I swear, JC is a great catch... as a friend, as an "alaga," as a boyfriend probably... (I wouldn't know that for sure! Hehe.) so I just want to greet him a very happy birthday today, January 15! I hope you enjoy your day today, and I love you too!

Also, happy birthday to Boy Cute Drew Arellano tomorrow, January 16! Ito rin si Drew, super sweet and super nice... kaya naman mahal na mahal ko rin! Drew, have a great one... stay as sweet and nice as you are, and see you on Monday!

I'm going down with the CRAZIES!!!

2005-01-08T13:21:00.000+08:00

NUMBER 1: GIDDINESS FACTOR SKYROCKETS

This is when you suddenly feel a rush of energy inside your body that you cannnot contain, so much so that you tend to impulsively pinch, slap, kick or kiss (depending on which person you chance upon) people around you.

Other forms of this symptom are:
a) smiling like there's no tomorrow. (You know, when you smile and people notice that your eyes are nowhere to be found on your face... and you're not Chinese.)

b) excessive noise, talkativeness.

c) laughing like its the last time you're going to laugh for the rest of your life.

NUMBER 2: OVER-ANALYZING

This is when you try to recall all the things that you've been through the whole day, week, month or whatever is applicable, and conclude that there CERTAINLY IS something good going on. (Kahit wala naman talaga...) You make the tiniest things incredibly humongous, at least for you.

Other forms of this symptom are:
a) consulting with so many people about your "experience" BUT using the word hypothetically to mislead them that it is NOT you you're talking about.

b) certain moments of "spacing-out."

NUMBER 3: SO-CALLED DEPRESSION

This is when, after your adrenaline skyrockets and you finish over-analyzing, you come to a conclusion that this craziness of yours will eventually go to the dumps... meaning WALA KA NAMAN TALAGANG DAPAT ASAHAN SA KANYA, NAGPAPAKATANGA KA LANG! And then you begin to withdraw from that someone you think God created solely for you.

Other forms of this symptom are:
a) telling your friends that you're OVER him. (Oh please... we've heard this line before, haven't we?)

b) looking at THAT person's name on your phonebook and battling out with yourself if you're going to text/call or not. And you end up not doing anything at all.

NUMBER 4: Wait... there is no Number 4!

Why? Because number 4 is a repeat of number 1!

This is when you withdraw from communicating with THAT PERSON, and then, when out of nowhere he/she communicates with you first, you fly to the heavens as instantly as you can fix a cup of Nescafe!

Haaaayyyy, I'm going down with the crazies! Is there any medication for this?!?

Memories of 2004

2005-01-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

2004 has been a big rollercoaster ride of emotions for me. So many things happened and so many people touched my life in such a quick span of time. This post is dedicated to all those people who made my 2004 worthwhile.

January

Graduated from De La Salle University, Manila with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Communication.

Became an internet-addicted bum.

Got closer to Kuya Vhong as I applied for a job in ABS-CBN.

February

Directed a magnificent concert entitled Just Music, featuring no less than the ever-talented St. Scholastica's College Glee Club.

Mourned for the death of Tita Boots (Evelyn) on my 21st birthday.

Was interviewed by Digital Tour as a feature on Kuya Vhong's website.

Started reading "The Purpose Driven Life."

March

Digital Tour feature aired, March 15, 2004. (Thanks, Arvin!)

Was interviewed by Tammy Bejerano of Star Cinema, when I applied as Creative Assistant for their department.

Got hired as a Print Researcher of Studio 23's Wazzup, Wazzup.

April

Got my first paycheck. You don't know how good it feels... really.

Crushed so hard on Drew Arellano I almost melted and evaporated into thin air whenever I'm on the set.

Experienced my very first major on-the-job boo-boo. And paid for it. Dearly.

Jologs w/ Style was born.

May

Went out on a brainstorming outing with the Wazzup pipol in Batangas Country Club.

Got to know Michael Cruz, then Star in a Million May Finalist. Was even able to watch the May Finals and cheer for him. He won, along with Frenchie Dy.

Had a mini jamming session with Drew while on set, waiting for the cameras to roll.

Did "baby-sitting" for some Wazzup TadJocks on their Mall Tour at Robinson's Galleria.

June

Studio 23 folks go to Island Cove, Cavite!

Experienced my second major... oops, that was not my boo-boo. I was merely there. *shrug*

Was able to watch Linkin Park's concert for free.

Wazzup, Wazzup TadJock Quest began. And so did my nightmares.

Kuya Vhong got hospitalized. And I cried.

Got to know JC Cuadrado better at Studio 23's BayBreak. Friends na kami after that.

July

Kuya Vhong gets a little better. Me too.

Lost my whole month's salary to a pickpocket. Geez. How stupid.

Became Kuya Vhong's official "hawi girl" whenever Wazzup would have a mall tour.

Was able to watch Star in a Million live, again... and cheer for Michael Cruz like there's no tomorrow!

Started reading The Da Vinci Code.

August

Almost died of a Michael Cruz overdose. Charot lang. He got booted out on the 14th, but we celebrated his fans day on the 21st. Taray.

Saw and made small chika with Kuya Jhong Hilario almost every week.

My sim got blocked. So did my vision. (Hehehe, nandilim ang paningin!)

Super stressed out with work. Cried like hell when a TadJock Questionable got voted out.

September

Got my murderous instincts fired up when I learned about the infidelity of my bestfriend's then-boyfriend.

Collapsed inside the office because of lack of sleep.

Bonded with the TadJock Quest Finalists, KC, JC and Robby.

The Daily Mikester is born.

Made two HUMONGOUS boo-boos at work. Ones that became etched forever in the minds of my bosses.

JC Cuadrado wins TadJock Quest.

October

The De La Salle Green Archers win the UAAP Basketball Crown!!! Animo La Salle!

My night life is born. And my budget began to die.

Got close to Allan, Red, Sheiden, Mark and Flowell.

November

Wazzup folks go to White Rock, Subic!

Had a drastic haircut.

Got sick and absented myself from work, for only the second time since March.

More Michael and Mikester moments collected.

December

Experienced more work-related stress with Reklamador: SAGAD!

Christmas parties galore! Choreographed a dance for Wazzup, Wazzup's performance in the Studio 23 party. Won gift cheques.

Red resigns from being a PA.

Got too emotional and paranoid from all the deaths: the calamity victims, FPJ, De Venecia's daughter, our SP's dad, my bestfriend's aunt, the tsunami victims, etc.

***

I thank God I'm still alive, and though still boyfriend-less, I'm still able to find reason to live my life every single day. You folks who know me well... you know what drives me. And its not engine oil. :)

How to know if I'm...

2005-01-02T22:58:00.000+08:00

GALIT
--- Nakakunot ang noo. Aligaga. Mura nang mura. Hindi makausap nang matino.

DEPRESSED
--- Nakatingin sa malayo. Tahimik. Madalas ang buntung-hininga. Maluha-luha ang mata.

MASAYA
--- Laging nakangiti. Bigay na bigay ang tawa. Nangyayakap nang wala lang. Nangungurot.

IN LOVE
--- See "masaya"

SINAKTAN NG MAHAL KO
--- See "depressed"

SINAMPAL NG MAGULANG
--- Tahimik lang. Magkukulong sa kuwarto. Magsusulat.

PINAHIYA SA MARAMING TAO
--- Hihintaying umalis yung nagpahiya saka iiyak. Didibdibin for a day or two, tapos wala na.

NILOKO/GINAGO
--- Mag-iisip ng paraan para makaganti. Magagalit, pero parang deadma lang yung dating.

NAGSESELOS
--- Asar. Nakakunot na ang noo. Kung maputi ako baka namula na sa galit.

NAAASAR
--- Nananahimik lang. Sabay roll-eyes. Sabay nambabara.

NAHIHIYA
--- Hindi makalapit. Namimilipit sa isang tabi. Bubulong-bulong lang.

INAAWAY NG KAPATID
--- Ay sigawan ito...

SINABIHAN NG I LOVE YOU NG MAHAL
--- Sigawan uli. Sabay lipad.

DI PINANINIWALAAN
--- Mangungumbinsi. Pag ayaw pa rin, walk out.

TINAKOT
--- Depende sa paraan ng pagtakot. Pag over, text galore na ako niyan. Major sumbong sa friends and loved ones.

GINULAT
--- "Ay, puke!"

NAKAKARINIG NG PABORITO KONG KANTA
--- "Gusto ko yan!" Sabay kanta.

NAKIPAGBATI ANG KAAWAY
--- Deadma at first. Tapos pag-iisipan kung deserving ba patawarin o hindi.

NAMATAYAN NG PINAKAMAMAHAL
--- See "depressed" and multiply a million times.

Maligayang Bagong Taon!

2005-01-01T03:07:00.000+08:00

Sa lahat ng mga taong naging bahagi ng buhay ko ngayong taong ito, maraming salamat sa pagpasok niyo sa buhay ko. Maraming salamat sa mga natutunan kong leksyon mula sa inyo.

Hangad ko ang inyong tagumpay at kaligayahan sa taong 2005... at sana kahit paano ay nakapagdulot ako sa inyo ng kabutihan sa nagdaang taon.

Pagpalain sana tayong lahat ng langit!

I'm loving...

2004-12-29T01:11:00.000+08:00

Never mind all the useless banter I've been having with my colleagues at work. Never mind the Negastar. Never mind all the ugly things I've been through these past few weeks. For this post, I'm going to tell you what I'm loving right now...

Cotton Candy Surprise!

I was not surprised to see JC (Cuadrado, yes) walking down the aisle of our building, heading towards the TV Production Office one day. See, he was going to prepare for a live episode of his show, Showbiz Number 1. What I was surprised about was when he reached out to me and gave me a big plastic bag with purple cotton candy inside.

"Para sa iyo," he said.

"Ows? Sa akin ba talaga yan?"

"Oo."

"Bakit?"

"Peace offering ko. Bati na tayo ha?"

I smiled. I remembered calling him over the weekend and arguing with him about something I would rather not say in this blog. For JC's fans, forgive me for "making away" your idol/dreamboy... I was just concerned about him. I've been his "mother" in Wazzup since June, so my motherly instincts (if you'd allow me such) just kicked in. I apologized to him the day after, but he never replied.

And then this... the purple cotton candy. His peace offering. How sweet.

Its not that I won't forgive him if he never gave me cotton candy. Actually, even before we met that day, I already forgot the argument that we had. I just thought it was very sweet of him to give a peace offering, especially because I was not really making a bug fuss about our little spat.

JC still gives me two bags of cotton candy every time they have cotton candy on the Showbiz Number 1 set. Sometimes I still get surprised when my colleagues tell me that two bags of cotton candy are waiting for me inside the office. From JC daw. I just shake my head and say to myself, "I must've done something right to deserve cotton candy from JC almost every night."

Jace, anak... I'm really touched. Thank you. Maaaring may maiwanan, pero pangako, walang kalimutan.

Martin in Paris

I've only seen around 5 episodes of Lovers in Paris, and already Martin (played by Lee Dong Gun) has captured my weak heart. Sure, people will say Carlo is way, way guwapo than Martin... but I will beg to differ. Martin has this charm and looks that can be molded into the bad ass and good boy characters. Don't believe me? Take a look.

Bad boy. O diba, mukhang adik? O Ate Pearl, wag ka nang umalma dahil totoo.

Good boy. Look how sweet and tender he looks in this picture! Isn't he adorable?

My cousin Pearl and I have been uploading lots of Lee Dong Gun's pics in my PC last Sunday... and I was just amazed at how this guy could look so innocent in one shot and thug-ish in another! Kaya mahal na namin si Martin eh!!!

I wanna be an angel...

2004-12-24T01:50:00.000+08:00

You're a "Pink Angel". Now, just because it may be a little bit of a feminine color doesn't mean you're all girly and whiney. You're very selfless and love to bring good news to people because you like seeing people happy. You have better manners than most and people love how polite you can be. Your friends love that they hardly ever get in arguments with you and can barely get mad at you! You're friends and family mean so much to you and it takes more than a fight to break you away from them.

What Color Angel Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Actually right now, I wanna be a guardian angel and just look after the one I love. I haven't seen or talked to him for days, and it just saddens me that I couldn't greet him personally this Christmas. Kahit man lang sana simpleng bati at yakap, pupuwede na sa akin. Basta makita ko lang siya, at masiguro kong nasa mabuti siyang kalagayan. God I'm so paranoid right now, just thinking of all the tragedies and deaths that have happened these past weeks.

I just wanna make sure that he's safe... dahil mamahalin ko pa siya.

Taraskye's Top Ten!!!

2004-12-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

Wala lang... just thought of relating all my current feelings to some songs I've been listening to these past few days. At heto na po sila!!!

10) I think of you - Tata Young

I think of you, I think of you and it's gone
like you chase away the storm
making it all okay
I think of you, I think of you and I'm strong
and I know I can go on
its like you set me free
when life gets the best of me,
I just think of you...

Para kanino ito? Para kay chever! Kanino pa?

9) I miss you - BoyzIIMen

Thought I heard your voice yesterday
and when I turned around to say
that I love you
then I realize
that it was just my mind
playing tricks on me...

I miss you
There's no other way to say it
and I, and I can't deny it
I miss you
it's so easy to see
I miss you and me

Para kay chever pa rin 'to. Kasi naman... basta...

8) Suntok sa buwan - Session Road

Di mo ba alam
damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan
Pag kasama ka'y suntok sa buwan...

Hindi ko 'to gusto
pero wag kang lalayo...

Itanong mo sa akin
tatanungin ko rin
kung ika'y aamin
lahat ay gagawin...

Thanks to Red for letting me appreciate this song. Ganda.

7) Liwanag sa dilim - Rivermaya

Isigaw mo sa hangin
tumindig at magsilbing
liwanag
liwanag sa dilim...

Harapin mong magiting
ang bagong awitin
ikaw ang liwanag sa dilim...

Sometimes, really... I want to be "liwanag" sa dilim... pero usually, ako yung nasa dilim.

6) Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional

Vindicated, I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
and I am flawed
but I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
the things you swore you saw yourself...

JC... practice-in mo pa 'to ha? Tapos kantahan mo pa ako uli. Puwede ka nang singer, anak!

5) Things will go my way - The Calling

For all the lies I've tasted
just searching for the truth
For all the dreams I've wasted
well what am I to do...
when everything's against me
and the answers are all wrong
I'm hoping that I'll find out
it was worth it all along...

Someday talaga... things SHALL go my way.

4) Wag na Wag mong sasabihin - Kitchie Nadal

Ohh, wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama itong
pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kahit na kalayaan mo...

Kalowkah ang impact ng song na 'to!!! I love Lovers in Paris... kahit minsan lang ako nakakapanood!

3) Crazy for you - Michael Cruz

You see I'm crazy for you
touch me once and you'll know its true
I never wanted anyone like this...
its so brand new
you'll feel it in my kiss,
I'm crazy for you...

Para uli kay chever... sobrang crazy na talaga ako sa kanya.

2) When I see you smile - Bad English

Sometimes I wanna give up,
wanna give in
wanna quit the fight
but when I see you, baby
everything's alright... everything's alright...

1) If I'm not in love with you - Faith Hill

If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through tonight?
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you, baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you

And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much tonight?
If it's just infatuation then
Why is my heart aching
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I'm not in love with you

Why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Why in dreams do I surrender
Like a little baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me

If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through tonight
And if my heart is lying then what should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you

Songs 2 and 1 are both for chever. Grabe na 'toh!!! Di ko na kinakaya!!!

Matagal ko nang 'di ginagawa 'to...

2004-12-22T22:57:00.000+08:00

... kaya eto na naman tayo sa walang-kamatayan at makabagbag-damdaming survey!

***

Anong ginawa mo kahapon?
Eh ano'ng pakialam mo? Edi nasa trabaho ako!

Saan kayo nagpunta?
Kayo? Sino? Ang labo mong kausap... next!

Anong wallpaper ng PC mo?
Si Michael Cruz.

Anong nasa ibabaw ng TV nyo?
Mga figurine.

Anong color ng damit mo ngayon?
Parang maroon na medyo matingkad. Di ko ma-describe yung kulay. Kakaiba.

Anong kinokolekta mo?
Lalaki. Hahaha! Wish ko lang!!! Ano nga ba kinokolekta ko? Memories! Pictures...

Anong nararamdaman mo ngayon?
Inaantok.

Anong street ng tinutuluyan mo ngayon?
J.P. Rizal extension.

Anong favorite flavor mo ng ice cream?
Coffee crumble.

May pasok ka ba sa Monday?
Unfortunately, meron. Live eh.

Anong oras na?
10:51 pm

Kailan ka huling nagpagupit?
November 12 ata yun. Basta bago kami mag-Subic ng Wazzup pipol.

Kailan ka huling nanood ng sine sa sinehan?
November din. The Incredibles ang pinanood namin ng kapatid ko.

Anong favorite mong chichiria?
Potato chips. Basta sour cream na flavor.

Sinong tumawag sa iyo ngayon?
Ang lungkot... wala eh.

Nagmumura ka ba?
Oo... ayoko na magdeny.

Anong ni-lunch mo kahapon?
Fried chicken ata sa mini-stop.

Anong huling pinanood mo kagabi?
Yung coverage ng FPJ funeral.

Nagbe-breakfast ka ba tuwing weekdays?
Minsan lang. Usually coffee lang.

Magsisimba ka bukas?
Hindi.

Anong gusto mong makuhang gift sa pasko?
Puso ni chever. Hehehe. Charot lang. Kahit ano. Di naman ako mahirap pasayahin.

Bahay o mall?
Ang vague ng question. Next!

Nasusuka ka ba pag nakasakay sa bus o taxi?
Depende. Pag yung air freshener ng taxi hindi ko feel, nasusuka ako.

Saan ang probinsiya mo?
Sa Bicol.

ABS-CBN o GMA?
*insert song here* Sabay tayo sa bawat pagtibok ng ating puso. Sabay tayo sa lahat ng nais, ako'y kasama mo! Sabay tayong lumuha, sabay tayong magsaya! Sabay nagsisikap sa iisang pangarap, magkaramay sa lumbay, magkasama sa lahat ng tagumpay!!! Studio 23, Kabarkada mo!

Sino mga tao sa bahay niyo ngayon?
Si Mommy, si Jill, Ate Pearl and Ate Anisa.

Inaantok ka na ba?
Yuh. Actually.

Favorite colors mo?
Red and black.

Gusto mo bang magpa-tattoo?
Yoko. Masakit eh. (Hehe... duwag!)

E magpa-piercing?
Yoko rin!

Anong ginagawa mo pag gising tuwing weekends?
Nagkakape.

Harry potter o Lord of the rings?
Harry Potter. Hehehe...

Dream destination mo?
Beijing China. Swear to God I have an affiliation for that place. Feeling ko nung past life ko isa akong wuxia warrior! Hahaha!

"thanks for everything, tara. alam mo na yon."

2004-12-21T11:11:00.000+08:00

Who would've ever thought that these simple lines would be enough to make me cry at 4:00 in the morning? Well, they did. And I was thankful I browsed the net at that unholy time of morning.

It was Michael who posted this message up in our YG. He greeted us all a Merry Christmas and went on to write messages for some of the members. I was the last person he wrote to, and his message included those two simple lines.

I was agitated that time, until I read his message. And I swear to God I just broke. In the midst of my angry fit over a misunderstanding at work, somebody made me realize I was important enough to benefit a "thank you." It felt so good. Especially because the person who said it means a lot to me.

It's not everyday that I receive sincere "thank you's" from the people around me. Not that I expect people to thank me always... but its always nice to hear and realize that your efforts don't go to waste. (O, aminin niyo yan, masarap makarinig ng thank you kahit papaano.) And sometimes too, it's very difficult to say thank you, especially if you have a grudge or something to the person you're supposed to say it to.

Ako, I make it a point to say thank you to the people I appreciate so much everyday. My friends at work, clients who are easy to talk to, the utility men who help me out with minute things, si Kuya Kevin and Big Boss... I feel refreshed to recognize their selfless efforts and reward them with the simplest thing I can give. (Siyempre kasi walang budget... hehehe...)

Basta, I want to thank Michael for making me cry (pinagpapasalamatan pala yun), and for making me realized once again that sometimes the most simple things are the ones that are most powerful and most able to touch someone's life.

Thanks for everything, Mike. Alam mo na yon.

Nega-Star

2004-12-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

Ayoko sanang maging nega dahil magpa-Pasko na... pero wala akong magagawa kundi mag-vent na naman ng sama ng loob dito sa blog ko. Paano ba naman kasi, umatake na naman ang isang taong walang konsiderasyon sa katawan... siya ang Negastar ng buhay ko ngayon. As in.

Gusto ko lang sabihin sa kanya, na susundin ko siya hindi dahil tinitingala ko siya bilang pinuno, kundi dahil ayokong masabihang hindi ko kayang gawin ang trabaho ko. Pero gusto ko ring sabihin sa kanya na malapit na siyang mawalan ng mga empleyado dahil sa ugali niyang pang-Pontio Pilato na lagi niyang ipinapakita sa amin. Isa na ako sa aalis... hindi lang dahil pagod na ako sa sobrang trabaho, pero dahil na rin wala siyang ipinapakitang appreciation sa mga taong nagtatrabaho sa kanya.

Isa siyang napakalaking Negastar... at siguro kahit anong mangyari, hindi na mababago ang ugali niya. Sayang dahil mataas ang pagtingin ko sa kanya noon. Pero ngayon parang mas mababa pa siya sa pinakamababang empleyado namin dahil sa inaasal niya. Naniniwala ako sa karma... kaya sana maging masaya ang Pasko niya ngayon, dahil baka sa susunod, hindi na.

Groovin'!!!

2004-12-13T01:51:00.000+08:00

Better late than never, sabi nga nila... so I'm gonna share some of the pictures I took last December 07 when we had our Studio 23 70's Christmas party!!!

With Ate Shey and Mark. Ang cute namin, noh? Mukha kaming galing sa isang Starsky & Hutch episode. Hwehwehwe!

With Sheiden, who I playfully call my "Beb." Kamusta naman yan? Hindi naman halatang naka-anim na siyang San Mig Light, noh?

Ah ito... I know most people would recognize who this is. Anak ko 'to sa Wazzup... kaya ayan, diba, mukha kaming mag-ina sa picture?

At siyempre kung may mag-ina, meron din dapat mag-asawa! At hindi ito ang ehemplo nun! Hahaha!!! Basta... ang sweet namin ni Drew noh? Sana totoo...

There... I have more pictures kaya lang tinatamad na akong mag-scan eh... ang bagal! Hehehe... enjoy na lang! :)

Kamusta naman yan?

2004-12-11T16:20:00.000+08:00

"Kamusta naman yan?" is getting to be my most abused phrase for the past two weeks... Ewan ko kung kanino ako nahawa nito, pero sobrang lagi ko na siyang sinasabi. Example?

To JC: Kamusta naman yan... amputla mong tingnan sa TV! Pero ang guwapo mo in blue!

To Mark: Kamusta naman yung ipagpalit ko si ____ sa mga 'to! Nakakabuwisit!!!

To Red: Eh kamusta naman yang itsura mo? Mukha kang hindi natulog ng 50 years!

To Kuya Vhong: Kamusta naman yang buhok mo? 1997 ba itoh?

To Mike: So kamusta naman yang katawan mong napakalaki at raket ka nang raket!?

So kamusta naman kayo? Na-getz niyo ba ako???

i wanna breathe...

2004-12-09T11:46:00.000+08:00

Alright, here we go.

*inhale*

*exhale*

*inhale*

*exhale*

*inhale*

*exhale*

*inhale*

*exhale*

I wonder if that would be enough.

Kailanpama'y ikaw ang lahat sa buhay ko...

2004-12-05T20:00:00.000+08:00

Today I've decided. I will marry a Bautista. You go figure which Bautista it will be from Christian and Mark. But it will definitely not be Herbert, Hero or heaven forbid, Harlene.

Why Christian Bautista? Well, because:

1. ...I've been crushing on him ever since he won the Star in a Million January Finals,

2. ... he possesses a very cool, clear and distinct voice... which is perfect for theatre performances,

3. ... he has a very nice personality, and;

4. ... he's tall, moreno and guwapo!!!

Never mind that he is currently being linked to Rachelle Ann Go (uy, selos si Rocky!), I'm used to unrequited love stories anyway. Never mind that he is being chizmaxed as gay, I'm used to that also. Never mind that he won't remember my name the next time we see each other, basta... never mind all those barricades! Basta ang alam ko, mahal ko si Christian Bautista!!!

You, you put the blue back in the sky. You put the rainbow in my eyes. You came along to show you care, and now there's color everywhere...

Congrats nga pala to Ian (uy, close...) because his song The Way You Look at Me is currently number one in Indonesia! O diba? International star na si Honey!!! (Hahaha! Honey raw oh!)

And how about the other Bautista? Yes, the one who'll be playing Lastikman come December 25 this year? Well... I love him because:

1. ... he reminds me of a former crush, San Miguel Beerman Olsen Racela (I kinda think Mark resembles him in a way),

2. ... of his smiling eyes that turn misty when he sings,

3. ... he has this solid, manly voice that just turns me into goo whenever I hear it, and;

4. ... like Christian, he's guwapo also!!!

Never mind that I have the same sentiments for Mark... I really, really love this guy! I still remember the finale of Sarah: The Teen Princess... that speech, those tears! Sigh! There is nothing in this world that breaks my heart more than the sight of someone so... so... handsome crying over his beloved. Shyeeeettttt!!! My hopeless romantic self is alive and kicking once again!!! I swear to God that if he guests in our show soon I will be the one to take care of his needs inside the dressing room!!!

Ang puso ko, ang isip ko, ang buhay ko'y para sa 'yo... at hindi kailanman ako sa iyo'y magbabago. Maglalaho itong mundo ngunit di ang pag-ibig ko... ganyan ka kamahal at siyang lahat sa buhay ko...

And congrats din to Papa Mark kasi Gold na ang kanyang self-titled album! Ang huhusay ng mga boyfriend ko! Wag na lang kayong maingay kasi pag nalaman nila 'to, magbbreak na kami agad. Hayaan na lang natin na hindi nila alam. Anyway, what they don't know won't hurt them naman, diba? Hehehe...

Again, today I resolve that in the future I will marry either Christian or Mark Bautista. If only in my dreams. :)

Thanks to The Official Christian Bautista Site for Christian's yummy pic above! Visit the site, Christian fans... ganda!

Gusto kong umiyak, pero para saan pa...

2004-12-05T19:21:00.000+08:00

... wala namang magagawa.

So goes one of my favorite Parokya ni Edgar songs, "Sayang." But before you think that this post is yet another one of those that speak about the woes of love and the idea of being in it, think again. There are many other things that pushed me to the edge and made my lachrynal glands act up this week... love angle not included (for once!).

It is so frustrating to have to work with people who are very inconsiderate. Its as if they disregard you and everything about you, thinking that you will be able to always do what they want you to, at any given time. Feeling nila kayang-kaya mong mag-milagro at magagawa nila AGAD yung gusto nilang mangyari. NAKAKAPIKON!!!

Let me illustrate:

My regular shooting day for a certain segment is Monday and Wednesday. One episode for Mondays and two for Wednesdays. However, last Monday I didn't have a shoot because the topic was not approved. The Wednesday topics, however, were still unapproved... unpitched, that is. I usually do my pre-production work like location hunting and paper work two days before the shoot, so I was hoping that by Monday I would be able to get hold of the two topics I will be researching on for the next shoot.

What happened? I had to rely on another writer to pitch topics since the writer assigned to the segment was Missing in Action. One topic was approved late Monday night.

Tuesday morning, topic number 2 was still unpitched, therefore unapproved. Tuesday afternoon, I decided to go out and research topic number 1 kahit wala pa si topic number 2. In search for a location for topic number 1's shoot, I went to Philcoa and Cubao.

Eto ang punchline... however easy I thought it was to look for a location for the shoot, I wasn't able to. AS IN, sobrang I could not believe that I wasn't able to find a location for the shoot even though I walked from Farmer's Cubao to Kamuning!

The next day, Wednesday (shoot day), I was out early to look for THE location. I went to Carriedo, Manila and found one, but there was so many people around that I was sure our talent would be mugged if we were to shoot there. I decided, with the help of my SP, to go ahead to Divisoria and look for that freaking location. I found the location after 5 hours of walking, riding a jeepney, cursing hell and high waters, and "sales-talking."

My point is, hindi dapat ganun ang pinagdaanan ko given na maagang naibigay sa akin yung assignment ko. Hindi naman kasi ako manananggal na kayang hatiin ang katawan ko para gumawa ng paperwork sa opisina at mag-location hunting at the same time. I have other segments to take care of, not just one. So I would really appreciate it if some people would be considerate enough to think that way. Lalo na pag wala naman silang ibang ginagawa, sana wag nilang isiping ganun din ako.

Haaayyy... gusto kong umiyak, pero para saan pa... wala namang magagawa. Might as well do my work and pray for more little miracles.

Poo Speak

2004-12-02T00:48:00.000+08:00

The following article contains some language and scenario that may not be suitable for your appetite. It is not recommended for you to read this if you wish to have your meals soon.

***

I was telling these stories to my cousin (with whom I live with, but ironically, don't get to talk to) two days ago, and I realized that there was one common factor in them. Poo.

Yeah sure, it sounds icky and disgusting for me to even be writing this here... but I can't help it. They're just so amusing... and I want to share them to you. Anyway, you don't have any choice naman... its still MY blog... kaya nga ako nag-disclaimer sa taas para if ever, wag niyo na lang basahin.

To continue... these stories involve people I work with and who are really very dear to me. And because I love them and their little quirks, I'm going to keep their anonymity and use different names... its up to you to figure out who these people are. Hehehe.

Poo Tale 1: Far & Away

I've been working with Charlie since June this year, and he's been one of the closest, dearest people to me. He has this enormous appetite for food, which was forgivable because, well... he's a guy, and he's very, very active.

Last week, he attended several events which involved -- you guessed it -- FREE FOOD. Lots of them. Siyempre, the poor (poor daw oh!) Charlie cannot resist but eat, eat and EAT! He was so full by the time he went back to the office that before he could even get up and go to his other itinerary for the day, he felt a strong urge to poo. However, he was kind of ashamed of doing the horrible act inside the comfort room near our office, so he grabbed another co-worker and dear friend of mine to one of the farthest floors so that he could perform the "miracle." (Nagsama pa talaga... salbahe!)

So there they were, inside the comfort room far and away from "civilization." Charlie kept on babbling while inside the cubicle para raw hindi halata kung ano ang ginagawa niya. He even coaxed my friend to make him kuwento para naman daw malibang siya. A little later, someone went inside the comfort room to relieve himself. Charlie and my friend wanted to laugh, wondering if the guy would figure out what they were doing there.

After a few more minutes... success! Maparaan talaga 'tong si Charlie. Kulet!

Poo Tale 2: Oh, Really?

We were geared up for a backpack shoot early last week when Tori asked us to fetch him at his condo just near the office. Since it was really very near and we can't work without him, we drove over to the condo and texted him when we were already downstairs waiting.

He texted back, "Wait lang. Poo-poo lang ako."

We all laughed inside the van and waited. Napaka-candid talaga ni Tori, I thought.

20 minutes passed. No Tori appeared. We were already exchanging toilet jokes inside the van and speculating what could it be that is taking him so long to come down. A little bit later, he appeared, his girlfriend behind him, holding his hand. My segment producer and I looked at each other with mischievous smiles.

"Hindi naman poo-poo yun eh!" he told me. We laughed.

The next day, I was with Tori again for yet another shoot. I teased him about the whole poo-poo thing since we didn't get to do it the day before (we got stressed while shooting, but that's another story).

"Sabi mo pupoo-poo ka? Hindi naman poo-poo yun eh!" I said, quoting my SP.

He laughed, "Ibang poo-poo pala eh, noh?"

Haaayyy, Tori. Tori, Tori, Tori... kakaiba ka talaga!

Poo Tale 3: Preshness Guaranteed!

I was walking down the halls of our workplace one day when I heard a familiar "Hoy!" call me. I looked up and greeted my friend, Elvin. He invited me over to a dressing room so that we can talk for a while. However, a few minutes into our conversation, he felt that he was going to poo (hangover kaya? hehehe...) so he made paalam to me, and I said okay. Siyempre alangan namang sabihin kong hindi, noh!?

He made hirit pa na bantayan ko raw yung door ng dressing room kasi walang lock. I laughed, and said, sige... no one will know what deeds you are doing... just hurry up!

So there, while he was relieving himself, I chatted away with Elvin's friend and told her stories of our Subic trip. It didn't take long until Elvin came out and said, "Presh! Success!" Kalowks!

We all laughed.

***

Three poo stories. Heehee... did I make you feel icky? Sorry if I did... I'm just so amused of these three people I know. Napaka-candid nila kasi, given their stature in life and the kind of jobs they do, you wouldn't even think that they would blurt out things like that to you.

Oh well, as the great philosopher Ace Ventura (Pet Detective) once said, "It is the mucus that binds us." For this article though... "It is the poo that binds us."

Now THAT is icky.

The House of Flying Daggers...

2004-11-28T18:16:00.000+08:00

My dad bought a pirated version (sorry po sa OMB, talagang mahilig bumili ng pirated si Daddy) of this movie just yesterday, and while I was contemplating on our proposal, I watched it with him and my little sister. Kalowkah lang kasi pirated nga at hindi nakikita ang mga subtitle sa screen!!!

So there we were, trying to understand the story being unfolded to us in Mandarin... na keri lang naman because the visuals were so appealing and kahit papaano nabusog kami roon. The fight scenes were very well orchestrated, very well shot... the characters looked good (I love Takeshi Kaneshiro!) even when they looked battered, Zhang Zi Yi was a sight to behold dancing and fighting... haaayyy, basta... ang ganda!

And here, I wanna share some movie stills I found at the internet, care of Sony Pictures Classics. Eye-candy for everyone! Yummy!

Kung may ganito lang akong boyfriend (Takeshi Kaneshiro), naku... baka puro pics lang niya ang nasa blog ko. Or baka hindi na nga ako nag-uupdate ng blog eh!

O, kamusta naman kayong mga boys diyan? Drooling na ba?

Sobrang love ko 'tong scene na 'to! Kalowkah si Mother Zhang Zi Yi! Napaka-flexible na, napakaganda pa! Great execution ng moves sa eksenang 'to... azteeeg!

Ayan na, ayan na, ayan na! Nabihag ko na siya!!! Hahaha... lagot ka sa akin ngayon, hindi na kita pakakawalan, PROMISE! PRESH!!!

Ayan... hope you guys liked the pics... kasi para sa akin, WINNER corned beef silang lahat! Panalo!

Zirkoh-han nah!!!

2004-11-28T16:45:00.000+08:00

Last night was one of the best gi-Mike nights ever! To start off, I got to meet new friends, Jewel, Melissa and Shawie earlier in the night kasi pinag-meeting-an namin yung Christmas party namin on December 18. Siyempre that's together with Doris, Rocky, and Mitzi (na kapwa ko sugudera sa gi-Mike).

We met up at Starbuck's ABS-CBN, chatted a little and decided we wanted to eat dinner before proceeding to Zirkoh (a comedy bar in Timog). We went to Pixie's... it's a great sinugba mini-resto outside ABS (along Mother Ignacia Street) and ordered 2 super jumbo tilapias, 2 mixed veggies, rice and drinks. Ang sarap, sobra... and we only had to pay what? Around 85 to 95 pesos! Swear... ang mura, diba? Busog na busog pa kami!

And that's why it was a good idea to just walk going to Zirkoh para bumaba ang mga kinain naming lahat. We arrived at Zirkoh a few minutes after 9:00, paid the entrance and sat ourselves right in front of the stage. Kalowkah... kulang na lang ipatong namin yung gamit namin sa stage...

Si Brent yung naabutan naming kumakanta, and then si ER. After ER came Gie (Mike's bestfriend) who said he'll sing a version of Jasmine Trias' new song dahil naka-Jasmine Trias inspired look siya kagabi, tapos biglang pumasakalye yung minus-one... ponyetah! Wherever you will go bigla yung kinanta! Tawa kami nang tawa!

After another number with Duane and Aria, si Mike na ang sumampa sa stage at kumanta ng She will be loved at Unwell. Natuwa kami sa suot niya dahil mukha siyang nature-lover... hehehe... naka-brown pants kasi siya at green top. At may semi-shawl pa na multi-colored... o deba, mukhang puno! Hehehe!

After a few minutes of bantering with the audience, Michael sat with us and made chika. Pinakilala ko siya kina Jewel (kasi first time ni Jewel makapanood ng live performance ni Mike), Melissa and Shawie and then pinicture-an ko sila nang magkakasama para may souvenir naman. Mike asked for updates sa Christmas party, and he was excited to learn that everything was being taken care of na... kaya lang nung sinabihan ko siya na napagkasunduan namin maglaro ng strip poker sa party at siya lang ang paghuhubarin, ang nasabi lang niya ay... "PANGIT!" sabay tawa.

He left the table again so that he can do his hosting job with the other stand-up comedians pero every once in a while pabalik-balik siya sa table. Pinakilala pa pala niya kami sa audience as the Mikesterz... tapos plinug niya yung YG at yung website. Tapos biglang nung tapos na yung set nila and they made way for primetime, nag-text si Mike sa akin at nagtatanong kung gusto raw ba naming uminom. He said he's hanging out at a small resto in front of Zirkoh at puntahan daw namin siya doon.

We paid our bill and went to the small resto where Mike was hanging out in, tapos pinaupo kami sa tabi ng table niya. Sabi niya order lang daw kami ng kahit ano at siya ang taya. Nang-asar pa kasi alam na niyang nahihilo ako dahil sa ininom kong San Mig Light (yeah, yeah... I've a very low tolerance for alcohol) at nagtanong kung gusto ko ba raw ng margarita... shet! Kalowkah! Gusto atang gumapang ako pauwi!

Finally, Mike ordered coffee for me... dahil talagang wasted ang itsura ko at hindi ako halos nagsasalita. We spent 3 hours bantering, laughing, joking around and of course, drinking. Langya si Rocky, muntik nang tunggain yung isang pitsel ng screwdriver nang mag-isa! Kalowkah!

Pinakanta pa si Michael nung isang gay host ng small resto na yun, and tinanong ni Mike si Rocky kung ano gusto niyang ipakanta. Sabi ni Rocky, Wherever you will go daw. Pero pagdating ni Mike sa stage, Ako'y sa iyo Ika'y Akin ang pinakanta sa kanya. Eh may sumpa yung minus-one, tumitigil sa second line... kaya Wherever you will go talaga yung kinanta niya. Hahaha! Minagic ata ni Rocky yung minus-one!

We left the resto at around 3am (kasi humirit pa si Mike ng isa pang round, at talagang ayaw pumayag na hindi kami iinom kahit iced tea lang)... about the same time Mike should have finished his job at Zirkoh. Yeah... hindi na siya bumalik ng Zirkoh and stuck around with us. Awww... how sweet is that!? Keri lang daw kung mapagalitan siya... eh ayaw niya talagang bumalik sa Zirkoh that time. Hehehe... loka-loka talaga yun.

Nag-hang around pa kami sa Zirkoh because Mike went there to get his clothes and stuff. Tapos inubos namin ang laman ng mga camera namin sa kanya. Walangya... karamihan ng mga final shots namin kagaguhan talaga. Gie also was kind enough to take pictures of the whole group. (Thanks, Gie!) We decided to call it a night at around 3:30... sakay na kami sa kanya-kanyang taxi and bade goodbye.

Mike and I were relatively quiet sa loob ng cab. Bangengs na kasi pareho... pero keri lang. Ang saya pa rin ng gi-Mike namin! I'll post the pics later... when I have them developed na. Hehehe... eion... Christmas party na ang kasunod nito!!!

The Incredibles!

2004-11-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

I spent the whole afternoon with my 12-year old sister Jill in Makati kasi nanood kami ng The Incredibles sa Glorietta 4. Ang saya-saya, super... ang cool nung movie! Ang sarap uli maging bata kahit paminsan-minsan lang.

I so loved Violet's character in the movie. And siyempre panalo ang powers niya. Si Dash din, cute. Pero the best si Jack-Jack. Hahaha... JC, tama ka... astig nga powers ni Jack-Jack! Panalo!

Eion... I enjoyed the afternoon. As in swear, kaming dalawa lang ng kapatid ko ang magkasamang naglalakad sa Glorietta kanina at naghaharutan sa gitna ng napakaraming tao. It was nice to have spent some time with her kasi halos di na kami nagkikita because of my job.

May na-discover rin pala akong bago... yung Bread Talk sa Glorietta 4 Ground Floor. Ang sarap ng mga tinapay nila rito tsaka sobrang kakaiba yung mga "flavor". Try niyo minsan pumunta roon at bumili. Medyo mahal nga lang yung mga bread, pero sulit naman sa sarap!

Tapos pala... nakita rin namin si Kuya Jhong sa Makati kanina... nakatambay sa People are People. Hehehe... la lang... kinamusta ko lang.

Eion... haaayyyy... Lunes na naman!

The little things that made me smile...

2004-11-16T10:12:00.000+08:00

Minsan talaga kahit nakakaloka ang araw mo eh merong mga taong nakakapagpangiti sa iyo at nakakagawa ng araw mo kahit hindi nila alam. Kahapon... ito ang honor roll ko:

Archie "Boy Reklamador" Alemania

Ang sarap talaga kasama nitong si Archie. As in. I accompanied my SP to a Reklamador shoot yesterday, and sobrang nakakatawa si Archie kasi para siyang bata while we were buying some balloons sa party needs shop. Bigla na lang siyang pumasok dun sa shop at nagsabing, "Bilhan niyo ako ng party hat!" Which sounded more of a request from a nine-year old than an utos from one of the rising stars of today.

Ayun... tawa lang kami nang tawa nung hindi pa man kami nakakaalis sa party needs shop eh talagang kinarir niya ang pagsuot ng party hat na Barney ang design (siya ang pumili nun ah!).

Tapos, after our shoot that afternoon sa Cubao, naglalakad na kami paalis. Nauuna ako kay Archie, tapos naramdaman ko yung kamay niya sa balikat ko. Kala ko, manunulak. Yun pala, magmamasahe! Nakakaloka! Si Archie Alemania... si Boy Rekla... minamasahe ako!?!?

"Ang dami kong lamig 'noh?" sabi ko sa kanya.

"Oo nga eh. Ayan, may mga natanggal na ako," sabi naman niya habang minamasahe pa rin ako (habang naglalakad kami).

Biniro ko pa ang SP ko na kunan niya ng video ang pangyayari dahil sobrang priceless nun! Siyempre hindi niya ginawa noh... sayang sa tape. Pero kung may dala akong videocam nun, naku... nagpakuha na ako ng footage! Its not everyday you get a massage from Archie, ha?

Kuya Vhong

Ah ito, short and sweet.

Naabutan ako ni Kuya Vhong sa studio na natutulog sa table. Masakit na masakit kasi ang ulo ko simula nung hapon hanggang gabi habang nagte-taping kami ng episodes. Nung mag-roll na yung cameras for the Tuesday episode, umalis ako sa table at tumalungko sa isang gilid habang inaaral ang Tonioke.

Natapos nang lahat ang Tonioke at ang Tuesday episode, sobrang sakit pa rin ng lecheng ulo ko (migraine ata itoh!). At habang nagliligpit ako ng Tonioke Tuesday materials, nilapitan ako ni Kuya Vhong sa gilid.

"May sakit ka, Tara?" tanong niya.

"Masakit ulo ko kanina pa eh," sagot ko.

Tapos sinalat niya yung leeg ko para tingnan kung may lagnat ako. NUng maramdaman niyang wala naman, tumango na lang siya tapos nginitian ako.

Hayyyy, shet! Kuyang-kuya ang feeling ko sa kanya kagabi... kahit di kami nag-usap talaga dahil masama nga ang pakiramdam ko. Sobrang the best yung moment na yun!!! Yeahboy!

sigh

2004-11-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

Grabe this week! Bukod sa nagkasakit ako eh talagang wala akong panahon para mag-post ng kung anik-anik dito sa blog ko! nakakaloka! Anyway... rundown na lang ako ng mga nakakalokang pangyayari sa akin this past week.

The haircut

Nakakaloka naman kasi ang mga nakaraang buwan para sa akin kaya sobrang trauma na ng buhok ko. Bukod dun eh talagang napaka-hirap nang i-manage ngayon ng buhok ko dahil sa sobra kong busy at wala rin akong perang pang-hot oil at kung anu-ano pang chuva sa buhok. (Oo, hindi kinakaya ng Rejoice ang buhok ko! Puro sabit pa rin!)

Kaya ayun, nung Thursday ng umaga bago ako pumasok sa trabaho eh talagang mega-punta ako sa parlor at pinagupit ko na ang buhok kong lampas balikat na... at kumukulot na rin, in fairness! Ang hirap talaga ng may dugong kulot!

And after around 30 minutes... tapos na ang maliligayang long-hair days ko! Heto na po ang hairdo ko ngayon, at kahit lagi akong tinutukso ni Chappy na mukha akong nangangailangan ng tulong mula sa DSWD dahil sa sobrang payat ko raw tingnan... I'M LOVING IT! (Sabi naman ng majority ng mga taong nakakita ng hair ko eh bagay naman daw sa akin ang hairdo ko... so kayo na lang ang humusga... kung ayaw niyo, bahala kayo sa buhay niyo!)

O ayan... pati si Michael Cruz nagustuhan ang haircut na yan ha? Kaya wag na kayong umapila!!!

Drew's comment

Natawa ako sobra kay Drew nung nakita niya ako nung Friday at hiniritan. Paano ba naman daw kasi... nagmumukha na raw akong punkista everyday. Eh paano ang suot ko nung Friday ay isang parang punit-punit na violet blouse na may tagpi-tagping kung anik-anik, vandalized pants at pulang pasaway na sneakers.

Sabi ni Drew (with matching turo sa akin), "Ikaw ah... you're looking like a punkista every single day!"

Sabi ko naman (pagkatapos kong mag-make face), "Bakit, ayaw mo?"

"Hindi naman. Bagay nga sa iyo eh..." sagot niya.

Awwww... what else do I say to that? I said "Thank you," and walked away... kinikilig na kasi ako. Hehehe.

Klownz affair

Haaayyyy...

Yun lang.

Hehehe... grabe, napaka-indescribable nung mga nangyari sa Klownz nung isang gabi! Swear to God, sobrang saya... I'm tempted to write a blow by blow account of everything that happened, but it will take me forever!

By the way, thanks to Wella, Doris, Rocky, Sol and Michael for making the night memorable. I love HERO by Enrique Iglesias talaga! Hwehwehwe!!!

Subic White Rock adventure!!!

Ang saya ng Wazzup staff chuva sa Subic!!! I love it!!! Kahit wala pa akong tulog galing sa meeting at sa Klownz eh sobrang saya talaga... I'll post some pics up soon... mga galing sa mga mababait na taong may cellphone cameras! Hwehwehwe!

Ayun! Walang humpay na meeting, kainan, daldalan, videoke-han (or, concert, I should say!), inuman at alaskahan ang nangyari sa aming overnight dun sa White Rock. Sarap ng tulog ko kasi ang lambot ng kama at nung comforter. Ahahaay! Kaloka... sarap talaga! Sana maulit muli... hehehe.

Para sa mga Wazzupers, there's a lot more in store for Wazzup this coming Christmas and the following year! Wala pong iwanan ha? Basta nandito pa ang Wazzup para sa inyo, sana nandiyan pa rin kayo para sa amin!!! Salamat!!!

Ayan.... ayan ang mga okay na pangyayari sa linggong ito! Wag na nating pag-usapan ang nega dahil nakakaloka lang yan. Ayokong sirain ang napakaganda kong mga iniisip sa ngayon! Charuz! Till next!

still sick...

2004-11-07T22:14:00.000+08:00

And still researching... buhay pa naman, so no worries. Siguro pag naghihingalo na ako saka lang ako titigil sa pagpo-post.

Anyway... I think it would be nice if I'd post one of my journal entries way back, same date four years ago. I was accustomed to writing my experiences in a diary ever since I was little, and my diary's name is Michael (because I thought then that my Guardian Angel was Archangel Michael). Let's see what I was up to this time in the year 2000.

^^^

Dear Michael,

Heto na naman po ako, nasa Plaridel at nagpapaka-martyr. Grabe... ang hirap ng midterms sa PHILHIS. At take note, 1/3 pa lang daw yun ha? Oo nga pala, salamat at tinutulungan mo ako kay Wolverine para makalimutan ko na rin ang feelings ko sa kanya. Parang si you-know-who... si Mr. July-August ba? Hehehe.

Pero sobra, alam mo talagang nami-miss ko si Joeybaby ko. I'd give anything just to see him again and be with him even for a moment. Sana, things were back to what they were before... yung 1997 days pa. When I ca;;ed him "promdi." I would never say that again kung maulit yung panahong yun. Siya na lang CK ko at hindi si Mr. Funny Guy... Che!

At eto pa, na-realize ko kagabi na hindi pala si Wolverine yung type na boyfriend material. Hanggang kulitan at gaguhan lang kami... mas masaya na yung ganun. Wish ko na lang sa kanya, sana mapasagot niya na yung reyna ng buhay niya. O diba?

No, I'm not bitter. Masaya nga yung mga nangyayari eh. At least meron akong babalik-balikan pagtanda ko. (Yiii, nakakakilabot!) Sabi nga ni CJ, it's a beautiful fleeting moment. Yes it is. It was.

Sabi nga, don't look for love. Wait for it. So... eto na naman si ako--- waiting for love. Akala ko kasi, love na yung dumating. Mali pala ako. Shit. Lagi na lang.

Ano kayang magawa habang naghihintay? Siguro mage-enjoy na lang muna akong kumanta ng mga senti... umuwi at pumasok nang mag-isa at manood ng sine with the girls. How sad naman... hahaha! Hindi...

Mas maganda siguro kung magpapantasya uli ako sa HillValley or any other urban community such as that. Whatchatink, huh? Kaso, I'm very busy eh. Plaridel work and stuff.

I just want someone to take care of me, Mike. Or... should I say, I just want someone to take care of me as much as I care for other people too. Pagod na ako eh. I want refuge... or some kind of it for that matter. Yun lang.

Wish I could write a good article later. Vavoom! Need to go. I still have an appointment. Luvyalots, Mike!

angelkisses,
Tara

^^^

O diba... kaazar. That early pa lang puro love na agad ang problema ko... or the lack of it. Hehehe... kaya nga nakakasawa na pag pare-pareho lang lagi ang nangyayari sa akin eh.

Eion lang naman... ta-ta!

nakaw na sarbey uli...

2004-11-06T23:36:00.000+08:00

Tingnan nga natin kung masagot ko ang mga ito... si Macri kasi eh...

PART 1

1) Mahirap ba masaktan? Hindi mahirap. Masakit.

2) Mahirap bang ma-inlove sa taong may mahal nang iba? Oo naman, lalo na kung yung mahal niya eh... ahhh... eh... uhm... never mind!

3) Mahirap ba pag may taong sobrang mahal ka pero di mo naman mahal? Siguro. 'Di ko pa yun nae-experience.

4) Mahirap ba pag mahal mo, mahal ka pero di pwedeng maging kayo? Oo naman! Ano ba 'tong mga tanong na ito... puro MAHIRAP!

5) Mahirap ba pag pinapahanap ka ng bf/gf ng mahal mo para makalimutan cya? I guess... hindi pa ako nagdaan diyan eh...

PART 2

1) God is giving you just 5 more minutes to live, anong 3 bagay ang sasabihin mo sa taong mahal mo? Exaj naman 'to! Five minutes lang! (naku, nagreklamo pa!) Tsaka bakit tatlong bagay pa? Isa na lang... _____, MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA! Yun na!
2) Pinaka-heart wrenching words na sasabihin sayo ng mahal mo, kung saan maiiyak ka talaga pagsinabi sayo? Tara... I'm sorry. I can't love you the way you love me.
3) Ano sasabihin mo sa isang taong ayaw maniwala na mahal mo sya? Minsan ko na nga lang 'to sasabihin, ayaw mo pa maniwala! Lecheng 'to!
4) Ano mas masakit? iniwan ka, niloko ka, mahal ka nya kahit may mahal syang iba? Wala sa liga ko yung categories. Basta ako masakit yung mahal ko siya, pero potah... hindi niya alam!
5) Mahirap bang sabihin yung totoo? Slight.
6) Was there ever a time na talagang pinag-aralan mong mahalin ang isang tao? Wala pa.
7) Can lovers be friends after the break up? I believe so. But it depends din on how lovers broke up.

PART 3
1) Pagmahal mo ba isang tao kahit kaibigan mo kakalabanin mo para sa guy/gurl na yun? Ewan ko lang ha?
2) Ano gagawin mo if parehas kayo ng kaibigan mo ng mahal? Depende yan... ahehehe.
3) Ano gagawin mo pagdumaan yung crush mo sa harap mo at bigla kang natalisod? Tatawa... ano pa ba? Eh tatanga-tanga ako eh...
4) Ano ang dapat mong gawin kung may guy/girl nagpapahiwatig syo na mahal ka nya? Hmmm... we'll see kung gusto ko rin siya, edi GO!
5) Paano pag bf/gf mo nagseselos? Ha?
6) Sasabihin mo ba ang nararamdaman mo sa isang tao pag may gusto ka? Oo... pero it will take time before I do it.
7) Paano kung yung mahal mo nagpaparamdam na parang mahal ka nya pero bandang huli.. may gf/bf na siya? Its his loss... not mine. (tarush!)
8) Paano kung ung mahal mo pinapahanap ka ng mamahalin nya? Ano ako, matchmaker? Potah siya!!!

new fave songs!!!

2004-11-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

I just want to share three songs I currently love listening to. Salamat kay kapatid na Red dahil may kopya siya nito at pinahiram niya sa akin...

***

Amber

311

Brainstorm

take me away from the norm

I got to tell you something

this phenomenon

I had to put it in a song

and it goes like

Whoa, amber is the color of your energy

whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally

you ought to know what brings me here

you glide through my head blind to fear

and I know why

whoa, amber is the color of your energy

whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally

Whoa, amber is the color of your energy

whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally

You live too far away

your voice rings like a bell anyway

don't give up your independence

unless it feels so right

nothing good comes easily

sometimes you gotta fight

Whoa, amber is the color of your energy

whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally

launched a thousand ships in my heart, so easy

still it's fine from afar, and you know that

whoa, brainstorm take me away from the norm

whoa, I got to tell you something

***

I melt with you

Jason Mraz

Moving forward, using all my breath
Making love to you was never second best
I saw the world rushing all around your face
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace

I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you

Dream of better lives
The kind which never hate
Wrapped in a state of imaginary grace
I made a pilgrimage to save this human race
Never comprehending the race had long gone by

I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you

The future is open wide
I'll stop the world and melt with you
I've seen some changes but it's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do

The future is open wide
Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmmm
I'll stop the world and melt with you.....

***

Save me

Remy Zero

I feel my wings have broken in your hands

i feel the words unspoken inside

when they pull you under

and i would give you any thing you want

you were all i wanted

all my dreams are fallin' down

crawlin round and round and round

Somebody save me

Let your warm hands break right through me

Somebody save me

I don't care how you do it

Just save me, save

Come on

I've been waiting for you

I see the world has folded in your heart

I feel the waves crash down inside

and they pull me under

and I would give you anything you want

you were all I wanted

all my dreams have fallen down

crawlin round and round and round

Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through me
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just save me, save
Come on
I've been waiting for you

all my dreams are on the ground

crawlin' round and round and round

Somebody save me

Let your warm hands break right through me

Somebody save me

I dont' care how you do it

just save me, save me

I've made this whole world shine for you

just save me, save

come on

I'm still waiting for you

sharing lang...

2004-11-04T03:08:00.000+08:00

Happiness! I was in DLSU-Manila kanina... sumama ako sa shoot ng Wazzup, at nagliwaliw ako sa General Assembly ng Ang Pahayagang Plaridel. Nakakatuwa lang kasi I met my old friends... na SOBRANG OVERLY na-miss ko talaga! Kakaunti na nga lang ang mga kakilala ko dun... kaya medyo nalungkot din ako nang slight.

Hay naku, Peter... miss na talaga kita. Hehehe... at dahil diyan, ipo-promote ko ang website mong may magagandang artworks!

http://reinen.deviantart.com --- Puntahan niyo yan guyz... maganda ang mga artwork ng friend kong iyan!!!

Asar-talo! Asar-talo ako kay Kuya Vhong nung Tuesday! Ginugulo ako habang nagto-Tonioke! Kainez...

Pero natuwa ako nung pagkatapos na ng show. Kasi feeling close na naman ako sa kanya. Hehehe... wala lang. Natuwa lang ako pag napapansin niya ako sa set, kahit inaalaska niya ako. At least nagkaka-chikahan na kami uli.

Ay, nabara ko pala yun nung Tuesday. Sabi kasi niya, "Tara, favor naman, pakuha ng script sa dressing room."

Sabi ko, "Ay ayoko."

Sabi niya, "Thank you ha?"

Hehehe... pero siyempre, ako ay isang masunuring kapatid. Kaya ayun, mega takbo ako sa dressing room para kunin ang kanyang script na nangangamoy Aqua di Gio.

Tapos chinika ko siya na ang ganda ng shoes niya. Tapos sinegue-an ko na ng kuwento na napanaginipan kong nililinis ko yung sapatos niya kasi nagalit siya na hinawakan ko. Sabi niya, "Bakit naman kailangan sa panaginip mo pa gawin?"

Aba... sa loob-loob ko... gusto mo kong paglinisin ng sapatos ah!!! Loko ka!

Happy Birthday! I wanna greet my bestfriend Jaja and our new Segment Producer Papa Eric a very happy birthday today!!! More birthdays to come! God bless you!

Ja, miss na kita! Text mo ko kung tutuloy ka sa set, okiez!?

Papa Eric, pag break na kayo ng jowa mo, tayo na lang ha? Mukha naman akong lalaki minsan eh. Hahaha! Jowk! Inuman tayo uli!

Tingnan natin kung gaano ako ka-gago sumagot...

2004-11-03T03:05:00.000+08:00

Situation: Yung taong nagtatanong sayo ay super
crush mo...anong sasabihin mo?

"Is this seat taken?"
No... but you'll be more comfortable in my lap.

"Gusto mo ba sumabay?"
*pakipot* Uhm, baka out of the way eh... pero ituro ko na lang sa iyo kung saan ka dadaan para hindi ka ma-traffic.

"May problema ako..."
Kung ako ang problema mo, didiretsuhin na kita... oo mahal kita, kaya puwede tayong magkatuluyan. Kung hindi naman ako ang problema mo, umalis ka sa harapan ko at may ginagawa ako.

"Alam mo ako na ata pinakamalungkot na tao sa mundo.."
*pasakalye ng Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan*

"Hey, i was just curious why you were staring at me a while ago.."
Banlag ako, gago. Kapal nito. Sapatusin kita eh!

"May boyfriend ka na ba?"
Kung saka-sakali, ikaw ang una. Suwerte mo, noh?

"Grabe ang sweet mo talaga! Sana ikaw na lang minahal ko.."
Puta ka! Bawiin mo yang sinabi mo! Bawiin mo! (tapos deep inside, hindi na ako makahinga dahil... basta!)

"Pwede mo ba ko tulungan kung pano ako mapapansin ni..." [crush din nya]
O sige... pero sana tulungan mo rin ako para mapansin mo. Para quits.

"Bakit parang pinipigilan mo akong manligaw sa kanya?" [kung babae ka]
Ay, sha... wala na! Sukdulan na ang hydrocephalus mo, gago!

"Grabe nai-in love na ata ako kay..." [hindi ikaw]
Ang ganda nung pelikula kagabi sa Star Movies... napanood mo?

"Karapat dapat ba sya para sa akin?" [mabait yung girl/ guy and mahal ng crush mo pero nalaman mo na nagd-drugs sya, sasabihin mo ba o hindi?]
Well... kung gusto mong ma-biyudo ng maaga, oo.

"Bakit parang napapansin ko nagiging close ka sa akin?"
Huwag ka kayang lumapit... try mo lang!

"Ano ulit pangalan mo?"
Honey.

[pumunta sya sa b-day party mo at hindi ka man lang napansin]
GUARD!!!

"Ba't pag kasama kita, mas masaya ako..kesa pag kasama ko..." [yung mahal nya]
Gawin ba akong clown? TF ko?

"Ano bang pwede mong gawin para patunayan mo na mahal mo ko?"
Hindi pa ba sapat yung gumigising ako araw-araw dahil gusto kitang makita at makasama?

An interview with myself (Part 2)

2004-11-02T01:58:00.000+08:00

Okay, tell us about College life.

Ay wow... college life was fun! I had newfound independence kasi hawak ko ang oras ko, I can go anywhere I want without my parents knowing... alam mo na. So ayun... bagong barkada, bagong mga gimik. Mahirap yung mga subject, pero there were certain people and events that made the journey worthwhile. Some of those is yung mga taga-Plaridel, yung official student publication ng La Salle published in Filipino.

Ang dami kong natutunan sa mga tao roon. Tapang, unang-una na. Biruin mo muntik na akong makasuhan ng libel nun... pero that's another story. Nalampasan ko naman, so thankful ako na na-experience ko yun kasi it added more character to me, in effect.

Ano ang favorite mong tambayan nung College?

Plaridel office. Swear to God, pag andun ka... you don't need to be anywhere else. Andun na lahat. May libreng chika, libreng food... dudukot-dukot ka lang sa mga kumakain, libreng music, libreng freak show, libre phone calls... saan ka pa, diba?

Outside campus naman, madalas kami sa Robinson's Ermita. Nanonood ng sine, kumakain... or kapag walang-wala talaga... tambay lang tsaka window shopping. Madalas kami ng barkada ko sa Astrovision, kasi nags-scan kami dun ng mga lumang pelikula na gusto naming bilhin. Tapos madalas pag lumalabas kami roon, si Ice at si Ian lang ang may nabili. Andami kasing pera!

What was the most difficult time you had?

Yung transition stage from being a regular student to a student majoring in Communication Arts. We were warned that it was going to be really hard, pero grabe... hindi mo mare-realize yun hangga't hindi mo mararanasan. Deadlines every week, hands-on lahat ng mga project! Layout ng mga pahina ng diyaryo, script for TELEPRO, RADIPRO, may FOTOCAM pa! Walang pahinga kaming lahat nun!

Idagdag mo pa yung fact na nasa Plaridel ako nun and I had to meet certain deadlines for research and articles. Grabe... Superwoman ako nun! Feeling ko lang ha?

Usapang cheating... nag-cheat ka ba nung College?

Hmmm...

As far as I can remember, no. Saw someone cheating, yes. But ako mismo... hindi.

O... intriga naman tayo. Did you ever fall in love with anyone while in College?

I would like to believe so. I had a couple of crushes... tapos siguro masasabi ko na sa lahat sa kanila, dalawa yung sobrang OVER talaga ang attraction ko at yung intensity nung hurt na naramdaman ko. Itago na lang natin sila sa pangalang Raymond at Perry. Asus! May mga ganun pa...

Si Raymond, I liked him because he was smart and funny... good-looking din. Ang husay nitong taong ito with words. Artistic siya, sobra. Naging inspiration ko siya nung last term ng freshman year ko onwards hanggang sa makilala ko naman si Perry nung bandang junior year ko na. Si Perry naman, very charming. Ang ganda ng boses! That was his deadly weapon sa akin, pati the way he talked, napaka-smooth talker kasi. His voice made me feel beautiful... Charuz!

Ayun... kamusta naman sila ngayon... wa na! I still keep in touch with Perry and I see him around every now and then. Pero si Raymond, since graduation day last January hindi ko na siya nakita uli.

Siyempre hindi matatapos ang usapang College pag walang usapang thesis... how did your thesis go?

My thesismates, Lea and Ice, and I had a very hard time. Ambitious kasi kami masyado. Gusto namin breakthrough talaga yung gagawin namin. Awa ng Diyos, ayun! Na-delay kami twice... two takes sa Proposal Writing, tapos two takes sa Production. The thing is, kaya kami na-delay sa production kasi may back subjects ako na tinatapos, and hindi ako nakapag-focus sa mga shooting namin. Ako pa naman yung director... so nag-suffer talaga yung thesis namin.

In a way, na-guilty ako kasi naging mitsa ako ng pagka-delay namin. So mega-bawi ako nung tumutok na kami sa Production. So ayun, sa pagkatagal-tagal ng nilakbay namin... tatlong change of location, tatlong change of actors... nakatapos din!

So what do you think is your best and worst trait?

Best trait, I think is yung pagiging open ko sa mga tao at bagay sa paligid ko. I get to learn a lot of things, meet a lot of new people... most of whom are very nice, warm and maaasahan. I like making friends, kaya nage-enjoy ako with new people I've been meeting. I'm thankful na ganito ako ka-open... although siguro nga paminsan-minsan may downside ang pagiging sobrang open ko, pero dagdag lesson din yun sa akin.

My worst trait is procrastination. I tend to procrastinate a lot, lalo na pag nada-divert yung attention ko from what I'm supposed to do to what I want to do at the moment. Tuloy ang dami kong nakakalimutang gawin, daming nabibitin na trabaho, and so on and so forth.

Ano'ng ginawa mo immediately after graduation?

Kumain sa Max's. Hehehe... 'de! Dun kasi kami nag-celebrate.

After grad, nag-direct ako ng concert ng St. Scholastica's College HS Glee Club. Sobrang fulfilling nung concert na yun! It was fun working with an old teacher/friend, Miss Gretchen, who trusted me enough to make me direct the 40th anniversary concert of the said organization. Not to mention, magagaling din talaga yung Glee Club. Sobrang saya... I get so high working with talented, musically-inclined people.

I got paid 2,500 for my job as a director... for about a month of working, that's not bad. Masaya, super. I wish I could do it again.

Let's talk about music. What kinds of songs do you listen to at home?

Depende sa mood and time of day. Pag umagang-umaga at kailangan kong magising, pop-rock ang laman ng cd player ko. Mga tipong The Calling, Matchbox Twenty, Lifehouse, Bon Jovi... or, dance music nina Sean Paul, R. Kelly, Fifty Cent. Pag gabing-gabi naman, Mellow Touch ang companion ko. Gusto ko ng senti music from the 70's-90's, yung talagang tagos sa puso. Mga tipong Wilson Philips, James Ingram, Barry Manilow, Expose, Starship, Fra Lippo... yung mga contemporary din, gusto ko like sina Enrique Iglesias, Bellefire, Mikaila.

Any current favorites?

Meron akong gusto pero hindi ko alam yung title eh. Basta lalaki yung kumanta tapos yung lyrics ng chorus ganito: "I think I'm falling, falling in love with you. And I don't, I don't know what to do..." (Panawagan: Sa nakakaalam po ng kantang ito, puwedeng pakisabi naman sa akin, thanks.) Lagi kong naririnig 'to sa radyo, pero hindi ko alam yung title.

Kanino mo naman dine-dedicate yung kantang iyan?

Kanino pa eh di sa kanya!

Bakit "I think" pa lang?

Bakit ba mas marunong ka pa? Eh, "I think" pa lang naman talaga?

Sure ka? Eh kung makapag-text ka dun eh parang...

Ayaw na nga kita kausap! Matulog ka na! May pasok ka pa mamaya! Live and taping pa kayo, kamo! At... at... maglo-location hunt ka na naman! Matulog ka na... binabaltik ka na naman, sampalin kita diyan eh!

An interview with myself...

2004-11-01T15:38:00.000+08:00

Usually, pag wala akong makausap (hindi dahil wala akong kasama pero dahil ayaw na nila akong kausapin dahil magulo raw ako), kinakausap ko ang sarili ko. O... wag kayong matakot. Kayo rin naman, I'm sure dumating na sa puntong kinausap niyo ang sarili niyo. Ako nga lang, medyo madalas. Madaldal kasi ako eh... kita niyo, pati 'tong blog ko, kehahaba ng mga pino-post ko.

One day, I decided, bakit hindi ko interview-hin ang sarili ko at i-post ko sa blog ko? Para maiba naman sa mga survey na lagi kong pino-post. Eion... so heto na ang interview ko sa sarili ko. Sana makilala niyo pa ako nang husto.

***

What were you like when you were a kid?

Ay, sobrang makulit ako. Very playful. I can say na na-enjoy ko ang kabataan ko kasi nakapaglaro ako ng jackstone, Chinese garter, ten-twenty, teks, watusi, agawan-base, taguan, lutu-lutuan at napakarami pa. Biruin mo, halos lahat pa ng mga kalaro ko noon, lalaki... kaya habang lumalaki ako, boyish ang dating ko. Para in ako sa grupo ng mga taong kasama ko. Short haircut, laging marungis... kotse-kotsehan ang gusto at hindi Barbie.

Na-outgrow ko yung boyishness ko late na. Highschool na nga yata. Kasi naalala ko late elementary ko hinahabol ko yung kalaro kong lalaki dahil gusto kong suntukin. Ganun ako ka-brutal nung bata. Well... hanggang ngayon din naman talagang koboy ako. Basta may suntukan, hindi ko uurungan basta alam kong may katwiran ako.

Hindi ka naman nagka-black-eye nung bata ka pa?

Hindi naman. Pasa-pasa oo. Pero sasabihin ko sa iyo proudly na mas maraming pasa yung nakaaway ko.

Ano'ng pinakamalaki o pinakamabigat na pressure sa iyo nung bata ka pa?

Maging top one lagi sa klase. Yun talaga. Hindi naman sa pagyayabang pero ang hirap pala pag nagsimula kang magaling... ie-expect talaga ng mga magulang mo na all the way magaling ka. Kaya nung medyo dumating ako sa Grade 2 tapos nasadsad ako sa top two, top three, sobrang nangangatog na ako niyan pag araw ng distribution of cards. Very particular kasi ang parents ko sa grades ko...

Hanggang sa dumating ako sa Grade 6, talagang tutok sila sa pag-aaral ko. Anyway, kahit hindi na ako top one nung mga panahong iyon, hindi naman ako nawala sa top ten. Happy rin ako sa pagpapalaki sa akin ng parents ko, kasi nagkaroon ako ng determinasyon talaga tsaka competition sa katawan. It was a good thing.

What did your parents do if you didn't get good grades?

Naku, siyempre katakut-takot na sermon yan. Kesyo bakit ang baba ko sa isang subject, hindi raw ba ako nag-aral. Yung mga ganun. Pero hanggang ganun lang naman.

What was your biggest challenge naman nung High School?

To belong. I desperately wanted to belong and get the approval of my classmates. Transferee kasi ako nun... and sobrang snobbish ng school na pinasukan ko. St. Scholastica ba naman... eh alam mong mga sosyal ang mga nag-aaral diyan. Sino ba naman ako... eh uhuging-bata akong lumaki. Jologs na jologs kumbaga.

My first two years in High School was like living through hell. I had bad grades, didn't have a barkada... nasanay kasi akong may barkada nung elementary. I had friends, true ones, pero basta... kakaiba yung feeling. Parang laging may nakatingin sa iyo tapos hinihintay kang gumawa ng mali, tapos tatawanan ka nila. Yung ganun.

So paano ka naka-blend in?

Somehow the High School Dance Club was a big help. Sobra. Ang sarap sumayaw, at the same time, may mga bago akong nakilalang tao. One eventually became my kabarkada, si Belle... tapos nakakatuwa when I hear comments na nagagalingan sila sa akin sumayaw. Pag may nagchi-cheer sa akin habang nasa stage. Grabe... para akong lumilipad nun.

All-girls school yung St. Scho... have you ever been attracted to girls?

Kahit naman yung elementary school ko, all-girls. Tsaka hello... sabihin bang hindi? Siyempre na-attract ako sa mga babae... kasi lagi mong nakikita eh diba? I would like to believe that it is a phase na dinadaanan ng lahat ng mga babae, lalo na yung mga nasa all-girls school. Pero nalampasan ko naman yun. Sumobra nga ako sa paglampas eh, naging bakla na ako.

Nanligaw ka ba ng babae... ever?

Hmmm... I would like to think na hindi.

Nyek. Meron bang ganun? Expound.

Ewan ko... kasi hindi naman ako namigay ng kung anu-ano... I never dated a girl, asked a girl out or something. Hanggang tingin lang ako tsaka friendly conversations. Pero ganun lang. Kung lalaki nga ako, torpe ako.

When did you finally get over the "tendency"?

High School na.

Have you ever wished you studied in a CoEd school?

Dati oo. Pero pag naiisip ko ngayon, thankful ako na hindi.

Bakit?

Kasi feeling ko kung nag-CoEd school ako, nagka-boyfriend ako ng maaga. Feeling ko lang ha? Wag magtaas ng kilay! Eh... ako pag nagmahal todo... baka napariwara ako sa pag-aaral ko. Yun lang.

How did you discover your penchant for writing?

Hindi ko na ma-pinpoint kung saang parte ng buhay ko pumasok yun, pero ang alam ko, I started writing like crazy nung Grade 3 ako. Nagka-chicken pox ako nun, tapos yun lang ang libangan ko sa kuwarto. Hindi ako puwedeng lumabas ng kuwarto kasi yung little sister ko raw baka mahawa. Ayun, awa ng Diyos, nahawa rin siya. Hahaha!

So simula nun, nagsusulat ka na ng mga chuva?

Yup. Pero chika pa ang tawag noon sa chuva.

Ilan na ang nasulat mo?

Wag nga tayong magbilangan. Konyatan kita eh. Marami na!

Which is your favorite sa mga naisulat mo?

Marami rin eh. Yung mahahaba kong naisulat. Kasi natutuwa ako pag nakikita kong nagdedevelop yung mga character na ginagawa ko. Parang ako na kasi sila. I grow with them, I see them in their best and worst. Nakiki-iyak ako sa kanila, lumalaban... yung ganun.

Do you feel that your works are reflections of your life?

Yes, somehow. Ganun naman dapat lagi eh, diba? If you write something, you should know something about it. And ano pa nga ba ang pinaka-alam ko sa mundo kundi ang sarili kong buhay at sarili kong emosyon... diba?

Break muna tayo... nagugutom na ako eh. Next post uli... ikukuwento ko naman sa iyo ang college life kong puno ng angst, adventure, luha at dyaryo!!!

Kung lalaki lang ako...

2004-10-31T18:54:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, here's an interesting survey I got from friendster...

***

Kung magiging lalaki ka sa loob ng isang linggo...

1. anong name mo? -- Kevin

2. style ng hair? -- maikli lang, pero laging nakatayo at naka-gel... parang buhok ni Kuya Vhong.

3. Local & foriegn male celebrity look a like mo? -- naku... magpakatotoo na tayo, siguro kamukha ko si Kuya Vhong Navarro. Foreign? Jusko ha?

4. height mo? -- 5' 5" to 5' 7"

5. talent mo? -- singing and playing the guitar and drums.

6. sinong gf mo? -- naku... pucha. Ang hirap nung tanong. Baka kasi maging bading ako eh... baka BF ang ibig mong sabihin... hahaha!

7. skin complexion mo? -- tulad ng dati, kayumanggi

8. gwapo, cute, fair? -- ayos lang. Hindi masyadong guwapo at hindi rin naman pangit. Acceptable. Nasa talent at personality ang ka-cute-an. Asus!

9. career mo? -- member ng banda.

10. age ka magpapakasal? -- 25? 28?

11. built ng body mo? -- payat pero may muscles.

12. formal, informal? -- nasa lugar naman.

13. hair color? -- black.

14. style ng bag mo? -- backpack lang or small messenger bag na may mukha ni Che Guevarra.

15. usual get-up mo? -- T-shirt na tama lang ang sukat, jeans, cons...

16. sports aside from basketball? -- billiards?

17. nick mo? -- Kev

18. almost perfect sa physical mo? -- eyes, nose, smile...

19. first step sa first day ng pagging guy mo? -- liligawan ko na agad yung gusto kong ligawan... para makarami. (Asus!)

20. last step sa last day ng pagging guy mo? -- siyempre kung maliligawan ko siya... sasabihin ko sa kanya na mahal ko siya, tsaka wag niya akong kakalimutan... tsaka sana kung may nararamdaman siya sa akin eh hindi mawala yun pag naging babae na uli ako. (E yun eh!)

Kung kaya ko sana...

2004-10-31T01:20:00.000+08:00

Kung kaya kong iwanan ka, di na sana aasa pa.
Kung kaya kong umiwas na, di na sana lalapit pa.
Kung kaya ko sana...

Ayan na naman tayo sa "kung kaya ko sana," lagi namang ganyan ang dialogue ko! Simula ata nung past life ko, eh ganito na ang takbo ng buhay ko. Laging one-way. Parang isang mahabang kalsada na ako lang ang naglalakad. Walang nakakakita, walang nakikialam... dahil wala silang pakialam.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit ang hilig-hilig ko sa ganitong klaseng sitwasyon. Hindi naman sa hinahanap-hanap ko, pero ako mismo yung tumatanggap sa isang bagay na parang bato na ipupukpok ko sa ulo ko sa hindi malayong hinaharap. Katulad ngayon... sabi nila "Tama na," pero ayokong makinig sa kanila. Sino ba sila para malaman ang nararamdaman ko sa tuwing kasama ko SIYA? Sino ba sila para sabihing tantanan ko na SIYA dahil wala naman akong mapapala?

Pero sa kabilang banda, alam kong may punto sila. Alam kong pinangangalagaan nila ako dahil ayaw nila akong masaktan. Kaya lang, may magagawa ba ako kung sa tuwing nandiyan SIYA, nagpaparamdam SIYA o naririnig ko ang pangalan NIYA eh halos maubos ang span ng buong solar system sa tayog ng nililipad ko?

In the words ng aking paboritong OPM artist na si Gary Valenciano... Isang ngiti niya lang, at ako'y napapaamo. Yakapin niyang minsan, ay muling magbabalik sa kanya... nang walang kalaban-laban. Ganyan... ganyang-ganyan ang nararamdaman ko sa KANYA. Minsan aakalain kong wala na, pero oras na tumawag siya at marinig ko ang boses niya, ang pakiramdam ko'y para akong tinamaan ng isang laksang pana galing kay Kupido. Dila ko lang ang walang latay. OA, pero totoo.

Eh bakit ba kasi nagpapaka-tanga ako sa kanya given the circumstances? Eh kasi... ahhh, eh.. hmmm... ewan ko ba... hindi ko rin maipaliwanag. Ayoko sanang umasa sa kanya, pero ang gaga ko naman para sabihing kahit ga-butil eh hindi ako umaasa. Siyempre, nandun lagi yung hope (hindi yung yosi ha?) na sana sa susunod na lumingon siya, eh makita naman niya ako... na hindi lang bilang isang kaibigan.

Pero malabo. Siya pa. Hindi yung tipo ko ang gugustuhin niya. Lagi namang ganun eh, diba? Pucha, kahit nga sa sine, ganun pa rin ang kuwento. Pero ang nakakainggit sa mga tauhan sa pelikula, kahit ganito ang dilemma nila, sa huli, nagiging maligaya pa rin sila sa piling ng taong gusto nilang makasama. Malas ko lang na hindi pelikula ang buhay ko... soap opera siguro, puwede pa.

Sabi sa akin ni Sheiden kaninang madaling araw habang tumutungga ako ng iced tea (oo, iced tea lang... masama akong malasing), "It must be hard loving someone you know is not going to love you back." Walang kagatul-gatol kong sinabing, "Oo naman." Pero pagkatapos nun, napag-isip rin ako. Eh yun naman pala eh, mahirap. Walang pag-asa. Eh bakit eto pa rin ako?

Huwag mo nang itanong sa akin. Di ko rin naman sasabihin.

At kahit sabihin ko sa iyo, hindi rin naman kita makukumbinsi... tulad ng hindi ko rin makukumbinsi ang sarili ko na tama ang desisyon kong ipagpatuloy ang paglalakad sa kalsadang ito kung saan walang nakakakita, at walang nakikialam. Dahil wala SIYANG pakialam. Hahayaan ko na lang ang katawan kong mapagod at bumigay nang kusa. Sigurado ako... pagdating ng panahong iyon, hindi ko na siya mahal... dahil hindi na rin tumitibok ang puso ko.

i told Kuya Vhong i missed him...

2004-10-27T02:14:00.000+08:00

Sure, we see each other 3 or more times a week at work... pero iba pa rin pala yung feeling nung dating fan pa lang ako ni Vhong Navarro kumpara sa ngayon... fan pa rin, pero fan na katrabaho niya halos araw-araw.

Dati kasi, pag binibisita ko siya sa mga taping niya, I make sure na may dala akong kahit ano para sa kanya. Maliliit na greeting cards, home-made artworks, pagkain... yung mga simpleng ganun para sigurado akong matutuwa siya at maaalala niya rin ako sa susunod naming pagkikita.

Kaya lang ngayon, iba na ang lahat. Seldom ko na siyang nabibigyan ng kung anu-ano. Sabi ko nga sa driver niyang si Kuya Tyrone, kung kailan ako nagkaroon ng buwanang suweldo, saka ako walang maipadala man lang na kung ano kay Kuya Vhong. Hindi ko na rin siya sinusulatan tulad ng dati... at hindi ko na rin siya nachichika.

Oo... kahit magkasama kami sa set, hindi ko na siya nachichika.

Bakit? Eh kasi pareho kaming ngarag. Samantalang dati siya lang ang ngarag at umeeksena lang ako, ngayon, dumarating yung point na ngarag ako tapos siya yung umeeksena bigla, sasabihing... "Tara? Script?" Tapos saka ko lang marerealize na... ay... andiyan na pala si Kuya Vhong.

Kaya ayun... nung matapos ang taping namin nung Lunes ng gabi, nagpaalam ako sa kanya, bahagyang yumakap at sabi ko... "Na-miss na kita, Kuya ah..."

Sabi niya, "Oo nga eh..."

Yun lang, tapos nagpaalaman na kami. *Sigh* Parang gusto ko tuloy bumalik dun sa panahong fan niya lang ako at hindi katrabaho. Parang gusto ko uli yung feeling na nami-miss siya dahil hindi ko siya nakikita at hindi dahil parang halos hindi na kami nagpapansinan sa set.

Miss ko na si Kuya Vhong. Sana one of these days magawa ko uli yung mga nagagawa ko para sa kanya noon. Miss ko na rin kasi yun. Anu't anuman... si Kuya Vhong pa rin ang number one Kuya ko... ang Knight-in-Shining-Armor ko, at ang most enduring angel ko, na LOVE NA LOVE ko!!!

I love you, Kuya Vhong! You're the best policy I've ever heard (dugtungan ko na 'tong linya mo ha?) in my entire life!!!

isang nakaw na sarbey

2004-10-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

I just thought of stealing this from Dee-Aye's blog and answering it myself... hwehwehwe... walang magawa.

***

1. if you had an amazing first date tonight, who is the first person you'd tell about it?
Sa workplace ko siguro, sina Red at Allan. Kasi pag si Chappy sinabihan ko mumurahin lang ako nun. Tapos kapag si Kuya Pao naman, tatanungin lang ako kung nag-sex ba kami.

Sa friends ko naman, si Macri siyempre. Tapos si Wella (given na yung naka-date ko eh yung matagal-tagal na naming pinagkukuwentuhan na taong gusto ko).

2. if you were to describe the "perfect" boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you describe him/her?
I would like to believe that there is nothing perfect in this world. Kaya ayokong magbigay ng standard sa perfect boyfriend o girlfriend. Basta ako, gusto ko sa boyfriend yung naiintindihan yung mga quirks ko at kaya akong i-tolerate.

3. if your parents kicked you out of the house right now, where would you go?
Kina Macri. Walang dalawang-isip.

4. if you could understand one person more than you do now, who would it be, and how would you try?
Si Macri pa rin. Dehins ko siya maintindihan minsan eh. Kung puwede lang pumasok sa utak niya para maintindihan ko siya, at madaanan lahat ng dinaanan niya... keri lang.

5. if one day you woke up with no hair, what would you do?
verbatim: "Putanginang shampoo yan!"

6. if you could have starred in any movie in, which would it be?
Basta it would be one of these, (1) some Chinese Martial Arts movie with Jet Li, (2) a dance-musical movie with the Streetboys, (3) a comedy with Kuya Vhong, (4) Spirit Warriors 3 (asus!), (5) an action movie with Antonio Banderas, (6) a romantic-comedy with Ewan McGregor, Jude Law and Tobey Maguire, tapos kung puwede guest artist si Alex Band ng The Calling... cool yun!

7. if you could date one teacher, who would it be?
Naku pucha... Ronald Baytan na ito!

8. if you decided to dump your gf/bf how would you do it??
Let's not go there muna. Wala pa nga eh, dump agad.

9. if you were to pick the lyrics best describe your love one right now, what would it be?
And I'd give up forever to touch you, coz I know that you'll feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be... - Iris by Googoo Dolls

10. if you were to describe the type of boy/girl that would attract you, how would you describe him/her?
Someone smart, talented, has nice eyes, warm smile and a warm personality to match.

11. if a movie producer wanted to make a new film about someone truly evil and saintly, and asked you to suggest two people you know as examples he could study, who would you nominate?
Evil... si Chappy. Saintly... ako na yun.

12. if you cud dance as well as one person you know, who wud it be?
Si Kuya Vhong at Kuya Jhong.

bakit si Diether ang nanalo at hindi si Jericho???

2004-10-24T22:29:00.000+08:00

Wait lang, maghuhuramentado lang muna ako...

*runs around the room, screaming and swearing, throwing pillows around...*

Akalain mong manalo si Diether Ocampo ng Star Awards Best Actor for Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas? Over Jericho Rosales? How effing unfair is that? Eh si Papa Echo kaya ang nagdala ng show na iyon!!! Tapos si Diether kailan lang ba siya umeksena?

Grrrrhhhh! Nanggagalaiti ako! Hindi ako super Jericho fan, and I also have nothing against Diether, but I really feel that the award should belong to Echo and not Diether. I mean... shit man, si Papa Echo ang nagsimula ng series as one of the main characters... hanggang sa huli, pinanindigan niya yung character na iyon... tapos biglang mananalong Best Actor yung feeling ko lang eh supporting role ang ginanapan?

Arrrgh!

Ay ewan! Basta... naiinis ako!

can you see the smile on my face?

2004-10-22T10:49:00.000+08:00

Yeah. I'm smiling as I'm typing this entry. Why? Well... because someone special (to me, that is) spent 45 pesos on me last night when he called. Muntik na ngang gawing landline na naman ang cellphone. And to think I was not feeling alright last night... my stomach ached, my head was heavy, my back was giving way... and when he called, the pain miraculously went away!

Wow... teka, para naman siyang santo... pag dinasalan mo, nagmimilagro! (Ooops, my bad... is that blasphemy I just did?)

Basta... I'm smiling right now as I'm typing this entry. Can you see the smile on my face?

I hope you can. Coz I'm just so happy I wanna hug everyone. I only hope he knows how much he makes me happy. Maybe then he'll have an idea how I truly feel for him.

waaaahhhhh!

2004-10-21T01:37:00.000+08:00

I just want this week to end. Just like all the weeks before.

There.

That's all I want to say.

... and yeah, my back hurts like hell.

we're here, we're queer...

2004-10-20T01:14:00.000+08:00

After such a long time I finally got to watch an episode of one of my favorite shows, Queer Eye For the Straight Guy! Kanina, sobrang nakakatuwa yung ginawa nila kay Vincent, yung African-American guy na back-up chuva ng Cleftones. Thom Felicia did a great job redesigning his house (which they called a pigsty at first glance), and Carson also did well picking out clothes for the guy.

Pero siyempre, hindi papahuli ang aking favorite at love na si Jai Rodriguez... he was sooooo CUTE in the episode kanina... teaching the guy how to loosen up and stuff. Hehehe... basta, ang cute niya. Want proof? Eto oh...

Shyet, diba?

Hehehe... segue lang. Sabi ni Mama kanina, papuntahin daw namin ang Fab Five dito sa bahay ay ipa-makeover si Daddy. Sabi ko... pag nagpunta yan dito, hindi na makakabalik si Jai sa States! Igagapos ko yan dito sa bahay!!!

And for another look at the Fab Five...

Ang maldi-malditang tingnan ni Carson, noh? He reminds me of someone I know... hehe... pero si someone I know, magkahalong Carson, Kyan at Jai. Kaya mas lovable!

The things I say... and the things people say in return...

2004-10-18T14:03:00.000+08:00

Tara: Uy, thanks! I'll pay you back pag nagka-pera na ako.
Uhm, wag na lang.
(translation: Kailan ka ba nagka-pera?)

***

Tara: *giddy&kilig* Ang saya-saya ko!
Lovelife ito?
(translation: Sino na naman ang iniilusyon mo?)

***

Tara: Labas tayo this weekend. Papakilala ko sa inyo boyfriend ko...
Really?
(translation: Sure kang boyfriend? Alam na ba niya?)

***

Tara: Bangenge ako eh, sorry.
That's okay.
(translation: Kailan ba hindi?)

***

Tara: Minsan hang-out naman tayo, miss ko na kayo!
Oo nga...
(translation: Mag-resign ka na kasi!)

***

Tara: *lungkut-lungkutan* Haaayyy, ang lumbay!
O, bakit na naman?
(translation: Let go na kasi... namimilit pa!)

nga pala...

2004-10-16T03:10:00.000+08:00

I forgot to say... I updated na my Vhongsterz Blog!

So sa mga maka-Vhong diyan... I have new news for you! (new news? ano yun? panget!!!)

Visit the Vhongsterz @ http://vhongsterz.blogdrive.com.

See yah!

Sino ba talaga si Skye?

2004-10-16T02:04:00.000+08:00

You type that name alongside mine when you visit my blog, yet you don't know why it's there. Is it a name? If it is, whose is it?

Sige na nga, sabihin ko na.

Skye is my alter-ego, I think I've said that in this blog once before. Skye is a fictional character I created to embody everything that I am and am not, so that I can see myself in another light, or in another parallel universe.

I created Skye about 4 years ago, the same time I started the Spirit Warriors Fan Fiction series (patterned after the Streetboys' Spirit Warriors movie). She is Thor's (Vhong Navarro's character) illegitimate little sister who came to Manila to study. Her powers include telekinesis, astral projection and possession of the sixth sense.

I like Skye because she has this very lovable personality. She can always have her way with her friends and the people around her, she is very cheerful and she makes other people feel good about themselves. She is intelligent and funny, and she has great talent and skill, something I would really like to have in real life.

In many ways, I would like to be her. For one, having a big brother like Thor would be fun, and I have been dreaming of that everyday since I learned that I was supposed to have a big brother. Kahit sakit ng ulo si Thor paminsan-minsan (with reference to the stories I wrote), masaya pa rin kasi na may nasasandalan kang kapatid na puwede kang alagaan at ipagtanggol sa ibang tao.

Second of all, I would really like to have this talent of hers... yung telekinesis. Man, that would be one cool thing! Isipin mo, mananakit ka ng tao pero hindi niya alam na ikaw ang gumagawa nun! Hahaha! Jowk! Ang violent ko noh?

No seriously... I'd like to have that gift. I really don't know why. I probably have this fixation for having power over inanimate things or helpless beings. (Shyet... ang sama nga... you must be thinking... shit, ang sama pala ng ugali nito!)

One thing about Skye that I don't like though, is her lovelife. Why? Kasi pareho kami! You think that I could make her lovelife a little more satisfying so that I can avenge my real self? Eh wala... masokista rin kamo ako, kaya ang lovelife ni Skye at lovelife ni Tara ay halos iisa at magkapareho ang kinahihinatnan! Laging one-way, laging unrequited. I guess when it comes to love, kahit fiction hindi ko pa magawa. How sad.

I would like to be Skye sometime... pero not all the time. I still want to be little old, naughty, noisy, daydreamy, coffee-addicted me. Trust me... it's better.

something i heard...

2004-10-12T11:05:00.000+08:00

I'd probably heard this song twice already, and on both occasions I got stumped by its message. Read on...

I can't make you love me
written by Mike Reid and Allen Shamblin
as performed by Bonnie Raitt

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
inside my head

Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close,
don't patronize

Don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't

I'll close my eyes
then I won't see
the love you don't feel
when you're holding me

Morning will come
and I'll do what's right
just give me till then
to give up this fight
and I will give up this fight

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't

Taena!!! Ang sakit-sakit naman nitong kantang 'to! Pakiramdam ko one of these days kanta ko na naman ito... Macri... paki-hanapan naman ako nito oh... papa-burn ako! Para pag kakantahin ko na siya sa sarili ko eh may naka-ready na akong CD so I can wallow in my so-called sorrow. Bwahahahaha!!!

'Di nga... how'd you find the song? Sakit noh? Lalo na yung line na "I'd give up this fight..."

Minsan kasi wala ka na talagang magagawa eh. Kailangan mo na i-let go dahil unti-unti ka nang namamatay sa battle na hindi ka naman nananalo. (Macri, do you read me?) Yes, probably you still love the person, and the person loved you back once upon a time... but that doesn't mean that people can change. If the person has changed (meaning, hindi ka na niya mahal), why then wouldn't you? Bakit ka mags-stay sa isang state kung saan hindi ka masaya kung may karapatan ka naman (more than him) na sumaya, diba?

I believe that happiness is a choice. We choose our own ways of being happy, kesehodang mali ito sa paningin ng iba. When people ask me... Why Val? Why someone like him? Why someone who has a 99% chance of not loving you back the way you want him to?

Ang sagot ko... because at this point in time, Val makes me happy. And I know somehow I make him happy also... and I will take the risk on that 1% probability that he will love me back the way I want him to. If he doesn't, then at least 99% of him loves me still... even as a friend.

This is my choice because this makes me happy. Pag hindi na ako masaya, then that would be the time that I should let him go. Kasi kung mahal ko man siya, mas dapat kong mahalin ang sarili ko. Mas dapat kong isipin ang kaligayahan ko... dahil kung hindi ko mahal ang sarili ko at hindi ako masaya, paano ako mamahalin ng iba... at paano sasaya ang ibang tao sa akin?

dikit-dikit na kanta...

2004-10-12T01:40:00.000+08:00

I was kinda experimenting on something one day... trying to write a song for someone I like for the moment, but realizing that everything I want to tell him has already been said in several songs that I like. So here... try to figure out from which songs I got these lines from. :) The "lifted" lines are in bold letters.

Something I Gotta Tell You

I don't know how to tell you
what's going on in me,
to show you worlds and worlds of life
that you will never see
in anyone and anything,
this I know for sure
coz everything there is in me
has been said before...

So pardon me if I borrow
some lines that people sing,
I just wanna tell you,
(1) you're my everything...

Chorus1:
(2) I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide...
(3) I love you more than you'll ever know,
(4) I'll go wherever you will go.

(5) Can you read my mind, love?
Do you understand now?
Why my words aren't good enough,
to tell and show you how.

So if you've heard these lines
as often as you see the moon,
I'm sorry, I can't help it...
don't want you to be (6) gone too soon...

Chorus2:
(7) I never felt like this before,
and now I feel it even more...
(8) touch me once and you'll know it's true,
(9) I would go anywhere to be near you...

Bridge:
I know (10) some people wait a lifetime,
to find someone like you...
(11) and suddenly nothing will ever be the same... (repeat Chorus1)

May premyo sa akin ang maka-perfect nito! Hwehwehwe!!!

ang sakit, potah!

2004-10-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

I saw these pictures in my bestfriend's blog... and sobrang tinamaan ako! Potah talaga! Take a look:

Ano ang mas masakit? (Look at the pictures carefully...)

(A)

(B)

Leche parang gusto kong umiyak!!! Ano bang klaseng buhay itoh? Kakaunti na nga lang ang lalaki sa mundo, gaganyan pa sila! Magpaka-tibo na nga! Echos!

I'm crazy for you...

2004-10-10T01:15:00.000+08:00

Some people close to me might know why I'm posting this... and for whom I could be singing this right now. I just want to share it and in the process, share my kilig with you also.

***

Crazy For You

Swaying room as the music starts
Strangers making the most of the dark
Two by two their bodies become one

I see you through the smokey air
Can't you feel the weight of my stare
You're so close but still a world away
What I'm dying to say, is that

Chorus:

I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you

Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all

Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I'm deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you'll see

(chorus)

It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you
And you know it's true
I'm crazy, crazy for you

***

Yeah... I am crazy for YOU.

tudidudidoo...

2004-10-08T01:38:00.000+08:00

Hey guyz, wala lang. Just wanna say thanks to all the people who have been visiting and making comments (hi Dee!) in my blog! Sana natutuwa kayo sa mga kagaguhan ko at wag sanang mairita sa mga kadramahan ko minsan. (Kasi madrama talaga akong tao...)

Eion lang... tsaka... post kayo sa comments link ha? minsan kasi yung tagboard hindi nagwo-work. :)

Nga pala... I updated my fiction blog na. (hi Butterfly!)

Hi rin to the people I'm chatting with right now, KC (my guapong TJQ) and Leash (ka-Mikester!)... thanks sa inyo! Tutulog na ako!!! muah!

slumbook-slumbook-an tayo!

2004-10-06T22:45:00.000+08:00

Kailan ba nauso yung mga slumbook? Basta ako nung grade three ako, may delubyo ng slumbook na bumulaga sa akin at sa mga kaklase ko. Tipong mga Barbie, Og (yung makakapal na autograph book), Snoopy at kung anu-ano pang design ng slumbook ang lumitaw nung mga panahong iyon! At eto ka, pag wala kang slumbook, hindi ka in!

At eto ang aking tribute sa mga taong mahilig mag-slumbook at pumirma sa slumbook noon hanggang ngayon. Ready? Go!

Who is your crush? Trick question ito! Ke-bata-bata ko pa noon para malaman kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng crush noh? Oh, aminin niyo... alam niyo ba noon kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng crush? Oo man o hindi ang sagot niyo, malamang sa hindi eh sinulat niyo ang pangalan ng kapitbahay niyong cute, yung kalaro mong makulit na laging nang-aasar sa iyo pero naku-cute-an ka pa rin, o yung paborito mong artista at the time. Believe it or not, nung sumagot ako ng tanong na ito dati eh naisagot ko na ang mga pangalang Keempee de Leon, Gio Alvarez at Vhong Navarro (at may nakadikit pang 4EVAH! yun ah!)

Who is your first kiss? Trick question #2! Nako, ewan ko lang kung hindi kayo aamin na ang sinagot niyo sa tanong na ito ay ang makabagbagdamdaming... my parents! Eh siyempre, ilang taon lang ba tayo nun noh? Nine? Ten? Tapos yung tanong, first kiss? Aba... naisipan ko tuloy na ipa-censor ang tanong na ito sa mga slumbook na pambata at ilagay na lang sa slumbook na PG13! Hindi magandang ehemplo sa kabataan! Baka maghanap ng first kiss... aba, linsyak lang talaga!

Where and when did you meet? Hahahaha! Aaminin kong confused ako noon sa tanong na ito. Akalain mong tanungin sa akin kung saan at kailan kami nagkita nina Keempee de Leon, Gio Alvarez at Vhong Navarro? Eh di sinabi ko, yung totoo lang... where? on TV! when? kung kailan ang telecast ng mga show nila! Azar! Eh kayo, anong sagot niyo, aber?

Greatest ambition. Ilang beses na ata akong nagpapalit-palit ng ambition. Teka... enumerate natin. (1) to be a doctor someday, (2) to be doctor or nurse, (3) to be an actress, (4) to be a director, (5) to be married to *insert name here* and have a happy family. Hahaha! Shyet... ang daming pangarap nung una tapos nauwi sa pagiging housewife! Hahaha!

Happiest Moment. Christmas. Birthday. New Year. When i see him. (tumatawa ka na ba? tinamaan ka noh?)

Most Embarrassing Moment. Too embarrassing to mention! (o sige, tumawa ka pa!)

Motto. Naku pucha... pagalingan sa rhyming at talinhaga ang mga sagot ng mga tao rito. Magbasa ka ng slumbook ng nakababata mong kapatid at magbilang ka ng grammatical error sa mga motto ng mga kaklase niya. Liliwanag ang araw mo. Siyempre, yung iba pag tinatamad na, may generic silang sinusulat para sagutin 'to, at ito ay walang iba kundi ang: Golden Rule.

Define Love. Love is like a rosary that is full of mysteries. Love is a many splendored thing. (naku pucha, nang-agaw pa ng definition kay Frank Sinatra!) Love is blind. Love is a disease without a cure. My parents. Him. Yan, at marami pang ibang kakornihan ang naisasagot natin sa famous Define Love question nung mga bata pa tayo. Eh kasi hindi pa natin alam kung ano ba ang love, sasagot-sagot na agad tayo! Eh ngayon... ngayong nadapa-dapa na tayo, nalaglag sa bangin at nasaksak ang puso dahil sa kanya, alam na ba natin kung ano ang love? Diba mas lalo tayong naguluhan? Ewan ko sa inyo ah... basta ako... gulong-gulo!

ay oo nga pala...

2004-10-06T09:12:00.000+08:00

I just wanna congratulate our hosts, staff and crew for being nominated as Best Gag Show at the 2004 Star Awards for Television! Breakthrough ito! Ang saya-saya noh?

Ano kaya kung manalo kami? Hehehe... panalo talaga yun! Pero anyway, a nomination is an honor already!

So eion... congratulations, Wazzup Wazzup!!! (Eto Ka!)

... feeling a little sick...

2004-10-06T08:37:00.000+08:00

Shit. I feel so crappy. I've been sleeping late and waking up early for the past two days, and my colds haven't left me alone just yet. I feel like I'm coming down with a fever, but I still gotta work. Or else, patay ako.

I don't know kung kaya ko pang pumasok sa ABS today. Parang hilong-hilo na ako. I might just finish all my assignments on field today and go home to sleep. Haaayyy... buhay. I feel so sick!!!

:(

a Mike-filled afternoon...

2004-10-03T22:45:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes I know I promised you, Wella, that I'd be posting this entry last night, but I was really bangenge na to have posted something decent. Tapos nagloloko pa server ko, so it just wasn't meant to be.

However, what was meant to be was my Mike-filled afternoon yesterday (Saturday, Oct. 2) which started during the Saturday ep of MTB: Ang saya-saya!

Ang saya-saya talaga kasi after 1 month or so of not seeing each other and making personal chekka with my rock-idol friend, finally, I got to meet him again. Medyo naawa lang ako sa kanya dahil sobrang bangenge rin siya. Hindi pa siya umuuwi kasi galing siya ng Mindoro for a show with the Star in a Million finalists, at dumiretso siya sa ABS for MTB.

So eion, together with my friend Wella, sinugod namin ang set ng MTB to meet Mike and watch him perform live. He sang one song I wouldn't imagine him singing: El Debarge's Time will Reveal. Keri naman. Hindi naman pangit. Na-shock lang kami ni Wella nang slight dahil bugbog sa falsetto ang kanta at na-keri ni Michael!

After MTB, we were supposed to eat lunch muna. Kaya lang sa sobrang puyat namin eh kinailangan naming magkape. Mike treated us at Starbucks, at doon kami na-stuck for at least three hours dahil dumating na rin si Jamil, yung nag-interview kay Mike for research sa Maalaala Mo Kaya. (Oh, ang taray! Pang-MMK na ang vyuti ni Mike!)

Mike kept on telling us to get inside Cork and eat na, pero we insisted na we'll wait for him to finish his interview session. So ayun... nagpaka-martyr ang dalawang lola niyo and gallantly waited for Mike kahit na namumutla na kami sa gutom. At least we got to know new friends, Uma and Ayan (pareho muchos guapos... pero...) and hung out with them and Luis Manzano also. (O, saan ka pa?) Halfway through our waiting game, I learned that there were auditions going on inside ABS for a new show that I thought Mike would be perfect in. I whispered to Mike and told him about it, asking kung kaya niya pang mag-audition. Sabi niya, okay naman daw... kakayanin. So I said, sige, I'll accompany you there after this. He said okay, and I went back to our waiting game.

When finally I decided it was enough, and told Wella that I'd like to grab a bit at Brother's Burger. Pumayag naman din si lola dahil gutom na talaga kami. I walked up to Mike to make paalam ang asked him if he wants anything from Brother's... pero as it turned out, tapos na rin naman na pala ang kanyang interview. He told us to go to Brother's na and then he'll follow na lang daw.

So ayun na nga, nagpunta na kami ng Brother's, ordered food and found our seats. Wala pang five minutes, dumating na si Mike at nag-order na rin ng food. Sobrang ngarag na talaga siya by that time... ang slow ng pick-up. Yung tipong, you have to repeat what you said para ma-gets niya? Ganun. Sobrang nakakatawa yung mga itsura namin nun... gutom na gutom, galit-galit, halos hindi nag-uusap sa table. Mike let me taste his chili fries, "Tikman mo 'tong chili fries ko, malalaos yang onion rings mo," he said.

I did taste it, and he was right. Kaya ngayon nagke-crave ako ng chili fries! Humanda bukas yang Brother's sa akin!!!

Anyway, back to the kuwento.

After our very late lunch, Wella and I rushed to Studio 8 to check kung andun pa yung mga nagpapa-audition. Mike went to Cork to make paalam naman to Arnel. Wella and I found out na on-going pa yung auditions pero pa-pack-up na kasi hanggang six lang pala yun... eh 6:30 na. I texted Mike to hurry up and give it his last ounce of energy... and lo and behold! He walked towards Studio 8 with confidence and energy of a person who just got out of bed and a complete eight-hour sleep.

If you ask me about Mike's audition... I'd say he did great! He made all the people inside the studio clap and laugh at the right moments. Sigh. I really do hope he nails the part needed for the show. He deserves it, IMO.

So there, after the auditions we dropped by Cork and hung out with Arnel for a while. While Mike and Arnel got lost in coversation, Wella and I got lost in our own also. About an hour later, we decided to go home, but without Mike offering us a ride. We all rode the same taxi, pero nagpababa si Wella sa Quezon Ave lang kasi she was going the other way. Suwerte ko lang siguro talaga that I lived in Makati kaya hinatid na ako ni Mike hanggang bahay.

Along the way, small talk uli. Pero medyo silent na lang talaga kasi we were both really tired. When we reached our place, I kissed him goodbye and asked him, "Kailan na naman kaya tayo uli magkikita?"

He answered, "Basta, text kita." :)

ang saraaaappppp!!!

2004-10-01T00:37:00.000+08:00

The De La Salle University Green Archers won the UAAP Championship today... so I just wanna say...

ANG SARAAAAAPPPP! Grabe!!! Congratulations to the Archers, and to all my fellow La Sallians!

ANIMO LA SALLE!

Pare-pareho ba talaga ang mga lalaki?

2004-09-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

I often hear this line from Pinoy romantic movies (okay, so I'll paraphrase): "Pare-pareho lang kayong lahat na mga lalaki!"

But is it really true that all guys are the same? Hmmm... let me see. By ratio and proportion, I've spent more years of my life with girls than with guys. That's because I studied in exclusive all-girls schools from elementary to high school and only got to really hang out with guys when I stepped into college.

So let me just sort of categorize the guys I've been with to see if all of them really are the same... or the infamous Pinoy movie line is a sweeping statement.

[ the hopeless romantic ]

The hopeless romantic is the guy who doesn't feel ashamed telling his girlfriends (friends who are girls) that he likes someone and would like to court her. He is a little traditional, resorts to writing loveletters than just being contented to "hi. how ru?" texts to his prospect every nanosecond. He would go as far as buy a beautiful bouquet and deliver it to your classroom (seeing to it that HE will deliver it, not some "bridge"), or study a piano piece of your favorite song and play it for you as a gift for your birthday.

The hopeless romantic is also into little sentimental things. He isn't afraid to shed tears when heartbroken, isn't afraid to show affection, and isn't terrified by the prospect of accompanying his "special someone" to the mall because it only means more quality time for both of them.

I appreciate my hopeless romantic friend so much because he is not difficult to talk to regarding matters of the heart, and instead of giving me advice all the time, he silently listens to me and just encourages me to hold on.

[ the psychotic-loyal friend ]

The psychotic-loyal friend may not be the one who will comfort you when you're down, or the one who will always be there when you need him. He may be a little obnoxious, a little violent (slaps your back *hard* once in a while or grips your wrist *hard* just for kicks), and a little over-analytical sometimes that he forgets that there are things called "feelings".

The psychotic-loyal friend, however, knows when the things bothering you are going a little over the top. He doesn't show that he knows, but trust me... he knows. How will you know he knows? Make him drink a few rounds of alcohol, you'll see. In my case, my psychotic-loyal friend made me see AND hear his sentiments about my so-called lovelife when we were in college. To tell you the truth, I got scared of him when he started crying, cursing and throwing death threats to my "flame" (huh?) at the time.

That was the time I realized my psychotic-friend really loved me and cared for me, and I really appreciated it.

[ the pasakay ]

The pasakay is someone who's really, really cute, possesses a magnificent amount of charm, has a mega-watt smile, and could pass as a movie actor at any given day. What makes them a pasakay is their ability to take you on a ride, and make you believe that they have got the hots for you (I just haven't figured it out if they mean it or not).

Their usual gimmick is to treat you like a queen, look at you straight in the eye and sing some of the most beautiful songs ever written, eat lunch out with you, text you with sweet nothings every so often, and make the mistake of telling you that they love you (even if it's meanings for both of you are not exactly the same). Hah! Been there...

I've encountered many pasakays before... probably because I'm a self-confessed gullible sakayista. Even then, I've enjoyed daydreaming that they might be THE ONE I've been praying for, and even if sometimes they made me cry, they made me stronger too.

[ the obnoxious one ]

Five minutes will never pass without the obnoxious one spitting out green jokes, sex jokes, chauvinist remarks, so on and so forth. He is the one who, consciously or not, will endlessly tell and re-tell his past sexual escapades and beerhouse experiences with pride... even in the presence of women. He is also the one who plays around with you, telling you how pretty you are, woos you, and means it all as a joke.

The obnoxious one isn't necessarily like that all the time. He can be an intelligent conversationalist, a good friend, a creative brainstormer/writer and much, much more. However, he just can't help but be obnoxious... as if his every breath depended on how much green jokes and chauvinist remarks he can butt out.

I can't say I like being with my obnoxious friends, but they amuse me every now and then. They disgust me also, but when it comes down to business (not monkey business, of course), they really deliver.

[ the big brother ]

The big brother specie is self-explanatory. These are the ones who are really, really concerned for your welfare, call you "baby" (as in baby sis, ha? not the other baby term) even if you don't want to be called by such name, would see to it that you came home safe by texting you or calling you just to do a "rounds check-up" and so on...

The big brother may be someone you look up to, or someone you just encountered later on in your life. He might not be very close to you, but is as caring. He might get into your nerves once in a while because he overprotects you even if he shouldn't, but you love him just the same because he offers his hanky when he chances upon you, crying in the hallway.

I never saw my big brother, but I love him so much because he let other big brother figures step into my life and see that even if he is not with me physically, he will forever be watching over me.

[ the *sigh* ]

How shall I describe the *sigh*?

The *sigh* are the ones who are good-looking, sensitive, generous, appreciative, humble, talented, caring and considerate. They are the ones who call you when you tell them you're having a bad day, text back often, spend time with you even if you're not their girlfriend, appreciate your little deeds... and the list goes on and on.

Why are they called the *sigh*? Because no matter how pretty, kind, talented and intelligent you are, they will never look at you the same way a hopeless romantic, a psychotic-loyal friend, a pasakay, an obnoxious one, or a big brother will. They will always call you "sister" even if you're not blood-related, and would accompany you to shopping sprees or long coffee breaks because they want to boy-watch with you.

So... are you *sigh*ing now?

I'm sure there are more kinds of guys out there... but these are the kinds of guys I've always been with for the past 5 years. So... still think that all guys are the same?

Basta ako... I don't think so. :)

Ok, fine...

2004-09-29T01:06:00.000+08:00

Compared to the past days, today ended really well. Why, you ask? Because it ended with a phone call I made to Val. Wala lang. I just really wanted to hear his voice. Eion, kinapalan ko na ang mukha ko at tinawagan ko siya.

:)

Siyempre tuwang-tuwa naman ako na kahit nag-spend ako ng medyo malaki-laking load kay Val, eh nakausap ko naman siya. Nag-sorry dahil hindi siya nagco-communicate sa akin... and sabi babawi na lang daw siya next time.

Ok, fine...
Okay na ako. Haaaayyyy, ewan ko sa iyo, Val! Ikaw na naman ang naiisip ko ngayon. Tama na nga!

I do hope I can see you soon!

Oh, and P.S. I just posted part three of the Odd Couple series on my fiction blog. I hope you can visit and tell me what you think... toinks!

just shameless plugging...

2004-09-28T02:24:00.000+08:00

I posted the second part of my Odd Couple Series. I hope you visit my fiction blog and get to read it. Thanks, guys!

http://skyefiction.blogspot.com

And also, my Michael Cruz beta site is available for viewing. Just click the link below.

http://michaelcruz.cjb.net

That's it! Till next post!

de ja vu...

2004-09-26T01:30:00.000+08:00

Well, well, well... it seems my addiction to NBC's primetime sitcom Will and Grace has resurfaced yet again, thanks to The Entertainment Channel.

Shyet. I still remember my Sunday nights (W&G airs at Studio 23 on Sundays still), studying for my Algebra exam or writing my Literature creative paper while watching the uber-fun show. I also remember my dad scolding me because I kept on watching the show. (Baka raw lumaki akong bakla. As if, Daddy... bakla akong ipinanganak! hahaha!)

My favorite character, ironically, is not Will or Grace. It's Jack McFarland, the flamboyant, loud, eternally-grinning gay friend of Will and Grace, played by cutie-pie Sean Hayes.

I don't know... I just like Jack's character better than Will's although I also find Will cute and very very sweet. Mas gusto ko lang kasi siguro yung bading na makulit, makuwento at nakakaaliw kasama. At siguro kasi mas marami akong kaibigang bading na katulad ni Jack. Yung mga puwedeng isalang sa stand-up comedy.

Believe it or not, I even have an autographed picture of Sean Hayes. It was my bestfriend Jann's Christmas gift to me two years ago. Sobrang nakakatuwa. Here are some more pictures I got from the NBC Will & Grace website. Enjoy... you closet W&G fans!

^ Ewan ko lang ha? Sino'ng makakapagsabing bading din sa totoong buhay si Sean Hayes? *wink!* Hindi yata ako makakapayag!

^ Aaaahhh, eto... may bading factor nga siya rito. Hehehe. In character, kumbaga.

^ Awww... look at him (1st from right)!!! Ang cute-cute niya! Mukhang scrawny, pero wag ka... buffed ata ang katawan niyan!

^ Hahaha! Shock-shock-an ang drama ni lola! I love the reaction!

^ Awww... (part 2) ang cute-cute-cute-cute naman niya dito! Nice haircut and very neat outfit! Para siyang teddy bear na masarap i-hug! *hug!*

^ Eto ang outfit niya kapag inaya niya akong maging date niya sa Emmy's! Hehehehe... dream on, Tara!

^ Eto naman... pag inaya niya ako sa bahay niya at ipapakilala niya ako sa parents niya. (Yiheee! Kilig!) Exaj na yan, ha?

^ Awww... (part 3) he fixed me a cup of coffee! Thanks, Jack! Iloveyou!

Hehehe... sumobra ata ang kahibangan ng lola niyo. Sabi ko na sa inyo, nade-dejavu na naman ako eh! For more info on Will & Grace, visit their official website: http://www.nbc.com/Will_&_Grace/index.html

Enjoy! (Meanwhile, I'll be staring at Sean/Jack para maganda ang panaginip ko!)

got a new blog!

2004-09-25T02:04:00.000+08:00

Hi guys! I'm inviting you to view my new blog... its a fiction blog where I post some of the stories I've written before. I figured I needed to let go of myself creatively once again after not writing any fiction for the past five months.

The first series I'll be putting up is called The Odd Couple, which has 7 and a half (finished) parts. Hopefully I can write the ending of the eighth part (it has been pending for almost a year now).

I hope you enjoy reading my first installment... it was an entry to a writing contest, but didn't win. I love it nevertheless. The people who know me well will understand why.

Check it out at http://skyefiction.blogspot.com.

Thanks you guys!